Super Lizard

SYNOPSIS: Andy's ruthless teaching tactics.

It was my first day of teaching English at Azuma Junior High School.  I had planned a little introduction to give the students, but I just wasn't completely ready to enter the classroom.  Then, about an hour before my first class, it hit me... SUPER LIZARD!  I immediately typed it up, printed out a couple dozen copies, and set my mind on making every student at Azuma Junior High School learn the Super Lizard song.  And I can do that, too, because I'm the teacher and I can do whatever the Hell I want to.

So now you're all thinking, what's Super Lizard?
Super Lizard is an Allamuchy Scout Camp legacy.  One year at summer camp, many many years ago, there was this barrel-chested camp staff member visiting from Jamaica.  He made us sing the Super Lizard song before we could eat.  At first, we thought it was the most ridiculous song we had ever heard in our lives.  But in a few short minutes everyone was singing boisterously, belting out lyrics and gesturing with such strength that it seemed more like a religious event than a song.
And for the most part, I was able to recreate that here at Azuma.

Here's the words to Super Lizard:
(BTW- sung to the tune of "Where is thumbkin")

ASSUME THE POSITION

Super Lizard, Super Lizard
See him swim, see him swim
In and out the water, In and out the water
With his fins, With his fins.

At "Assume the position" (a loud command given by the MC), everyone has to stand with their feet slightly apart, raising their hands above their heads and clapping them together so that it looks like they're praying above their heads.

The following Super Lizard Demonstration is brought to you by the talented students of 2 nen 1 gumi (Grade 2, Classroom 1):
(this class, student for student, won a little recital contest that I judged, so this was their reward...)
At "Super lizard, super lizard" Squat and stand back up four times, keeping hands in position above head:
 
At "See him swim", mime breast stroke to the left and the right, the left and the right.
 
At "In and out the water", from regular praying position (with hands together at your chest), move your hangs as if you were a from springing from a lake, to the left and right, left and right.  At the same time, bend knees and straighten legs with each jump (slightly).
 
At "with his fins"extend your arms directly out from your shoulders, with one forearm up and one down (so that your arms look like half a schwastika, it doesn't matter which arm is up or down).  At each word, WITH, HIS, and FINS, move one forearm up and the up one down, back and down again.  You look like you're flapping around.
If you feel like using this song, here's some help in the explanation to Japanese kids:
1) GESTURES are important.  Teach them the words first, but then make sure you teach them ,and them make them sing with, the gestures.  Tell them that without the gestures, the song means nothing.  Once I tried bullshitting some students by telling them that they were actually learning an ancient Chinese Animal Kung Fu form (the various gestures represented various blocks or attacks) but it didn't work to well...
2) Don't forget "Assume the position".  In Japanese, this is "Junbee shiro!"
3) Lizard is Tokage
4) Fins is Mizukaki
 
If you're big into giving out prizes, I suggest the first time you do this song give some prize or sticker to any kid who:
1) Comically exaggerates gestures for cheap laughs.  Make it known that even the goofy, if done with enthusiasm, gets big marks in your book.
2) Sings obnoxiously loud.  This most likely won't happen, but if it does, make a big display of elation.  That usually does the trick.

If you're into punishment:
1) Any kid (usually the Trouble Students) who doesn't gesture with Appropriate Mandatory Enthusiasm, tell the class that the reason that they are having trouble singing is because they need "Super Lizard section leaders" (Suupaa Rizarudo Kachoo) .  Grab the kid and drag him to the front of the room to sing the song at the same time you do.  Japanese kids hate being singled out.

WARNING- I have one class of 3rd year students that, no matter how many times I make them sing, or gesture, or drag kids (the ones who appear to be social leaders) to the front of the room, they just won't sing.  It sucks, but the song just won't work on them.  Maybe once Every Other Student can do the song in their sleep they'll feel that social pull to learn it as well...