[While the girls and the Bishounen are out shopping, their Guardians are engaging in their own male-bonding activities...]

"GO! GO! GO! GO!"

"NO, DAMMIT! BLOCK HIM! BLOCK HIM!"

Orion ran back into the family room of Celeste's parent's house carrying another six-pack and a bag of chips. "Who's winning?" he exclaimed, jumping over the back of the couch to plop onto the seat. His movement shoved P-kun over and into Dionysus, who spilled his beer.

"Hey! Watch it!"

"GOOOOO!!! ALRIGHT!!!!!!" P-kun screamed, leaping into the air and doing his "happy dance." The game went to commercial and P-kun faced the two men on the couch. "LOSERS!" he crowed, stabbing his finger at Orion and Dionysus. "Pay up! Pay up!"

Snarling quietly, the two men reached for their wallets and Dion slapped a 20 into P-kun open palm. Orion opened his wallet, frowned, and pulled out a 20 too.

"Where's the rest of it?" P-kun asked. His beer made a little "psshh" noise and foam bubbled out of the top as he popped it open.

"I can't pay it all now, okay? I'll have to give you the rest some other time." Orion munched on some chips in a pouty way.

"Uh huh," Dionysus said. "Suuuuuure. Like we believe you."

"Shut up! You had to pay up too--"

"I didn't bet as much as you did."

"-- so don't say anything. Anyway, why are you here? Shouldn't you be with Celly and Sorano-chan?"

Dionysus snatched a handful of chips away from Orion and answered, "I love Ce-ko and Sorano, and I would kill for them... but I'm *not* going shopping with Ce-ko."

P-kun nodded, and failed miserably to catch the peanuts he had thrown in the air, in his mouth. "I understand where you're coming from. I may love Remy-chan like a daughter, but there's no way I'm going shopping with her."

Orion frowned as the TV displayed some nonsensical, surrealistic, perfume commercial. "Well, Mercy seems pissed at me anyway, and I'm not going to hang around for any more abuse. Anyway, I've seen Mercy shop..." he shuddered, "it's not a pretty sight."

"Uh huh," was the reply from the other two men.

"And we're back on this lovely--"

"It's on again!"

"How much do you wanna bet this time, suckers? My team will rush 20 yards in the first play!"

"Your team sucks! There's no way they'll go five yard, let alone 20!"

"Wanna bet?!"

BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP.

All three men jumped, sending beer, popcorn, peanuts and chips flying all over the room. Then they reached in their pockets, looking for their pagers.

"Mine's on vibrate."

"Be glad you're not on Kodomo no Oespresso."

"Oh! It's mine guys," P-kun said. He pressed a few buttons and then looked quizically at the number on the pager. "Uh, mind if I use the phone?"

Dionysus shrugged. "Go ahead. It's in the kitchen. Who called?"

P-kun didn't answer, but rushed for the phone instead. Orion and Dionysus shared a look, then followed him to eavesdrop.

After pucnhing inn the number, the phone was answered on the second ring. "Hello?" P-kun asked. "This is P-kun. I was just paged and... Oh... Yes... No, I don't think so... Fine..." Then he looked up with a startled look on his face, shot a look at the two men watching him, and replied, "Yes, they're here... Of course. I'll be sure to tell them. Yes, sir. Goodbye."

P-kun hung up the phone.

"Well?" Orion asked. "Who was that? Why'd you look at us so funny?"

P-kun swallowed. "Orion. You and I are being called into the Guardian's Council's Western Headquarters. It's time for our performance reviews."

Orion went absolutely white at the words "performance review." "N-no way..." he muttered. "I've... I've been through one of those already... when... They said I was okay! Mercy hasn't... Mercy hasn't... not like... Why the hell are they calling us in?!" Orion grabbed P-kun by his shirt and shook him. "They said I was okay! They said so! Why are they calling me in again?!?"

P-kun just stood quietly, his head hanging down, absorbed in why *he* of all Guardians was being called in for a performance review.

"Orion! Calm down!" Dionysus pulled him off of P-kun. "It's not P-kun's fault!"

Orion shoved Dionysus away. "Shut up! You don't know what happened the last time I went! You don't know--"

"Yes, I do." Dionysus' voice was cold. He remembered all too well about his last performance review. It had been shortly after he had been called in for violating Policy. The constant questions... the mental games... Performance reviews were always hell for him (he had gone through 3 in his stint on the Guardian's Council), and then he had been discharged from the Council. "Maybe it's just some routine thing," he said, trying to lighten the mood. "The first performance review when you first get assigned to a charge isn't so bad. Or maybe they just want to find out how you guys are doing--"

"They want you to come in too, Dionysus."

Dionysus whirled and faced P-kun. "What? WHAT?!? I'm not even on the damned Council anymore! How can they call me in for a performance review?"

"They want you to answer some questions on the nature of your entrance into the Game, and they want to question you on the... death... of..."

"Christopher. Chikusho..." Dionysus frowned and rubbed his fingers against his temples. He was getting a headache.

"They want us to report in ASAP." P-kun's voice was solemn.

Orion snarled something and slammed his fists into the countertop. The emotions seemed to visably drain away from him, and he looked up again with a lopsided smile, though the pain still lingered in his eyes. "So... do you think we should leave the girls a note?"

*************************************************************

The Tsukino house sat empty, waiting for its occupants to return.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Click.

"Hello, you've reached the Tsukino residence. We're not here, so leave a message at the beep, and we'll try to get back to ya as soon as we can!"

Beep.

"Hello? Celeste-chan? Dionysus-kun? This is Luna. I hope you call us back soon. Artemis... Artemis was in an accident..."

TBC...