Celly: [walks into Mori] Whew, am I glad that's over! Finally, something besides that damned fuku! [she stretches and scratches her ribs. She is wearing ripped jeans and a large tee-shirt proclaiming: "Leave. Now."]

[Everyone laughs]

Remy: Really? I rather thought you liked wearing it!

Susanne: Yeah... all the attention you got...

Celly: Oh, shut up! [walks to bar] Pina Colada. I really need to relax here!

Susanne: [holds out hand] You do, eh? Here. Have a toke.

Celly: Where the hell did you get these?

Susanne: From Roger. Duh.

Celly: I hope you haven't...

Susanne: Course not. I may need to relax, [turns to Celly] Hey, get me a strawberry daquiri too, [turns back to conversation] but I need to stay as alert as I can to keep up with the conversation here!

Anaera: [sipping glass of chocolate milk] Not that we've been saying a whole lot, of course.

Mercy: Mostly just sitting and enjoying not having to fight each other.

Nyx: [pulls out gun] Well, I dunno, Mercy... I find relaxation in strange places.

Rapath: Put it away! You know the rules.

Nyx: Oh, little miss "I'm so great." At least I make a major contribution to the story!

Susanne: Pack it in, Nyx. Celly may be Moderator, but *I* am the list owner, not to mention story archiver! And I say we're all going to have a nice, quiet, relaxing time--

Mercy: Turn on the TV!!! We're missing Days of Our Lives!!! [the girls squeal in anticipation and take up positions on the couch]

Anaera [goes to the refrigerator and rummages around]: Dammit! Where's the ice cream?!?

Rapath: Freezer, third shelf.

Nyx: [at the same time] Freezer, bottom shelf, behind the peas, underneath to chicken pot pies.

[Susanne and Remy glare at her]

Remy: Hiding the good stuff, are we?

Susanne: I wondered how that tub of strawberry sherbert managed to disappear so fast...

[Guardians burst in. All in human forms. Drunk.]

Roger: I'm 'Enery the Eighth I am, 'Enery the Eighth I am, I am...

Susanne: Roger, I know that you can sing better than that, even drunk!

Roger: [ignoring her] I got married to the widow next door, she's been married seven times before...

Nyx: Seth, CUT THAT OUT!

Seth: [in dumb African accent]: Can't cut it out, it grow right back.

Mercy: Guys! Honestly, we left you guys alone for an hour! How in the world did you get sloshed so fast?!?

Celly: [slapping a hand over Dion's mouth before he can answer] Do you *really* want to know?!?

Nyx: Seth! Stop touching me!!! [pause] Well... okay, there. You can touch me there... but if your hand moves an inch, you lose it.

Orpheus: [sitting in a far corner, mumbling to himself. He is wearing a Harley Davidson shirt and leather pants] ... I *never* wanted to be the gay one... P-kun is better at it than me... stupid writers... [he takes a drink from the bottle in his hand and yells out to everyone] I'M STRAIGHT DAMMIT!!!

Rapath: [whispering to Anaera] What was that about?

Anaera: [whispering back] He refuses to come out of the closet.

Orpheus: [yelling] I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! I LIKE GIRLS!!!

Mercy: Well, what do you expect? These writers are getting out of hand. Violent, too.

Remy: I swear, if I get shot, I'm talking to my agent...

Susanne: Hey! Get a room, you two!!!

[Celly and Dionysus look up from where they're necking on the loveseat]: Nani?!?

Susanne: [muttering] Forget the room, a cold shower is the best plan.

[Celly and Dion hear Susanne, grin at each other]

Susanne: Forget that, too... Ignore me.

Celly & Dion: 'Kay. [they go back to necking]

Remy: Don't even try to talk to them. They might come up for air once in a while, but...

Susanne: I know, I know... hey, Anae, how about sharing the wealth there?

Anaera: [takes spoon out of her mouth] Hmm?

Rapath: You could at least have gotten a bowl.

Anaera: But there was hardly any left, anyway!

Susanne: Hey, if no one's going to watch this, I'll put on a movie!

Nyx: Not Highlander again. I'm sick of watching those freaks...

Orpheus: I'M STRAIGHT! STRAIGHT, YOU HEAR??

[everyone sweatdrops]

Rapath: Besides, Mercy watches it religiously... hey, I just noticed that Mercy's Guardian isn't here.

Susanne: Yeah, and I just noticed that Mercy's not here, either.

Remy: Did anyone see her leave?

[P-kun cracks up]

Anaera: P-kun?

[P-kun is laughing too hard to speak]

Susanne: I'll try a different approach. [walks to freezer, takes out a handful of ice cubes, dumps them down Celly's back and jumps away]

Celly: Jesus H. Jehovah Christ!!!

Susanne: How many rooms are unoccupied in your inn right now?

Celly: [looks around] Looks like about one less than I thought. [goes back to Dion.]

Susanne: You're useless, do you know that?

Celly: Mmmmph

Susanne: If I have to bring out the Glaive... And Roger, will you please at least sing a different song???

Roger: And every one was an 'Enery, wouldn't take a Willy or a Sam...

P-kun: [joining in] I'm 'er eighth old man, I'm 'Enery...

Nyx: Seth, I've warned you once!

[Seth directs eyes towards ceiling, whistles, twiddling thumbs]

Rapath: [shakes head] Okay, let's do something, then.

Susanne: What're we gonna do?

Rapath: I dunno, whaddya want to do?

Susanne: I dunno, what're we gonna do?

Rapath: I dunno, wha-- Now don't start that again!

[the two inexplicably break down with a fit of giggles]

Nyx: [rolls eyes] Okay, now I'm worried. Celly, do they-- [turns toward Celly, then turns quickly away again] God, that was something I didn't need to see!

[The sound of something thudding against the wall grabs everyone's attention. Even Celly and Dion break off their liplock.]

Nyx: What was that?!?

Celly: Dammit all, there'll be hell to pay if that wall is broken.

[Everyone rushes to the next room and peer into the open door. The sight shocks them.]

Susanne: Oh... my... God...

[The spoon falls out of Anaera's mouth]

[Seth is watching lecherously]

Remy: I didn't know that you could even *get* into that kind of position...

Celly & Dion: [matter-of-factly] You can.

[everyone looks at them weird. They don't notice, nor do they care]

Seth: Details?

Dion: Maybe some other time.

P-kun: [still laughing, wipes tears from his eyes] See? SEE?? Heehee...

Seth: [eyes going glassy as he watches what's going on in the room] So that's where they went off to. That's... uh... umm... eerrrmmm...

Rapath: Don't you think we should say something? Or leave? We shouldn't really spy... ooh... that's a new one...

[Inside the room are Mercy and Orion. Their bodies are contorted together in interesting positions, a look of content concentration on their faces. They moan occasionally.]

Roger: Humph... I can do that better...

Nyx: [yelling into the room] Hey! Can we join in on the fun?!?

[Mercy and Orion freeze for a moment, shocked that they have been found out. Then slow smiles spread across their faces.]

Orion: Sure! The more the merrier!

Celly: [shocked] Oh, no way!

Dion: [disgusted] Are you a sadist or something?!? There's no way I'm going to play Twister!

[everyone is busily taking off their shoes]

Dion: Hey... this means the other room is empty...

[Celly and Dion share a smile before scampering away]

Orpheus: [yelling, still in the corner] I AM STRAIGHT! HE-TE-RO-SEX-U-AL!!! [chugging sound] I LIKE FEMALES!!!