Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply. Umm just for info this isn't a sequel to I Double Dare You but its another funny fic I hatched up for your reading enjoyment. Rating: PG-13 for some language I didn't feel like fixing. I Told You So Prologue Hay guys, its me, Lita. I'm sitting here in my Paris apartment, looking at the Eiffel tower as I eat my home made eclairs. The sun is setting and the sky, the sky is turning that color that isn't quite orange, isn't quite red, and isn't quite pink but something that swirls in between before finally settling on night. The air is heavy with the scent of the jasmine that grows on our balcony and there's tourists still walking about, hands full of children and cameras and endless souvenirs. Perhaps if I was one of those tourists I might have a different viewpoint of the City of Romance, of Amore if you will. As it is I hate it. I hate the sights, the sounds, the smells, and the food. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it and it's all Nephrite's fault. We've been living here for six months and I don't see any of that changing in the foreseeable future. Not because we can't afford it. Between the settlement money we've received and Nephrite's income from being a model, don't ask, we could definitely afford to move back to the States, to my friends, to McDonalds and American french fries. Sure we could afford it but we won't... Not for another year or so, just based on principle, because I need to make a point. It's a point many women in relationships feel the need to establish, the point being that when we tell our partners, our lovers, our husbands, our mates something, it is generally in the best interest of all involved to listen. Actually that is more than a point, it is the Point. Nephrite didn't listen to me and we ended up stranded up in Paris. We both hate it here but he hates it a little more so we're staying, at least for a little while longer, just to make sure we have the parameters of the Point down. I am always right. Period. Unless I'm wrong but I'm never wrong about big stuff, just stupid stuff, like how unwise white carpeting is. My cat, a great beautiful tawny feline with sleek gray fur jumps surely into my lap and I stroke Jupiter slowly, smiling slightly. I hate Paris but I love my cat. It didn't use to always be like this though, I mean I've always loved cats but I used to love Paris. I used to dream about it, used to imagine my wedding here, but that was a long time ago. Exactly six months, eight days and, I glance at my watch, twenty-three minutes ago to be precise. See, six months, eight days and, I glance at my watch again, twenty-four minutes ago I was back in good ol America, on my way home from school, college that is. That's when this whole mess started, when the chain of events that got me from home to HERE began. When I first discovered how lax I had been in establishing the Point. But I guess this rant would make a lot more sense if I began at the beginning, ne? So here we go. Grab some popcorn and a pillow, maybe a box of Kleenex, it's a long, harrowing journey. I'm sure you'll find it hilarious. Everyone else does. Chapter One I swing my basket contentedly as I walk the three blocks from the culinary college I attended to the apartment I sometimes share with Nephrite. Oh don't look at me like that. I'm twenty-one and plan on marrying him. Most likely. He's my soul mate and all, I'm sure of that thank you very much, but my mother always used to tell me that there's plenty of fish in the sea and that unless I'm a really hungry woman to throw a few back before I settle on dinner. In other words I shouldn't just marry the first man that falls out of the sky, or is reborn a millennium after his demise just to find me... Note the heavy sarcasm as you see my problem. And maybe I wouldn't give my mother's words such weight but its only when things are gone that you try to clutch them tight. Its been six years since they've died and I'm still trying to keep them alive, in memories, in their words, through all that they taught me. Nephrite helps, he doesn't even know it but he does. He helps so much I hardly ever cry; except for on Mother's Day, or Father's Day, and only then because I can't resist reading all the sappy Hallmark cards in the store. I almost had the cops called on me one time because the manager went to do a price check on some Digimon wrapping paper and found me sitting in the middle of the aisle, clutching a card with that damned Jetson dog saying 'I Ruv You' to my chest as I bawled. He thought I had been sniffing the permanent markers or something but hay, give him credit, when I calmed down enough to explain he felt really sorry for me and gave me a ten-minute phone card before escorting me out of the store. Luckily Nephrite hasn't actually asked me to marry him yet so I still have time to think things through, though lately he's gotten this twinkle in his eye and has had this suspiciously shaped squared bump in his front pocket and jacket for the last two weeks or so. Something that, gasp, might be a jewelry box. So that's why I'm keeping our six-month anniversary low key. Nothing special. No nice restaurant, no dancing, just him and me at the apartment and some of my heated up homework for dinner. I mean I stopped by the French Bakery on my way home, hence the basket, but fresh bread hardly constitutes a marriage proposal. I hope. I mean I've had a helluva a day. I burned my chocolate pudding, which doesn't require heat to make if that tells you anything and then when I was making cocoa I accidentally left the spoon in the cup when I heated the milk up and kinda... Well let's just say I owe the culinary college a new microwave and leave it at that. I'll spare you the embarrassing details. I'm sure you're disappointed. I skip up the flight of stairs to the apartment and went for my key as I juggle the basket but gasp as the door opens. Nephrite, looking incredibly good even in faded torn jeans and a gray shirt a size too small for him, smiles as I groan. "Nephrite! You can't be early..." He grabs my basket and leads me in the apartment with a grin as he tweaks my nose. I hate it when any one else tries it but somehow, for some reason Nephrite can pull off tweaking my nose without making me feel like an ungainly five-year-old. "Ah come on Lita... I wanted to help you make dinner and you said we weren't going to do anything fancy so I figured you wouldn't need hours to primp..." I sigh. Guys just don't get it. "I just need to heat dinner up, it's already made, and I do not take hours to primp! I did want to at least take a shower and change." I cringe at the thought of us celebrating our six month anniversary with me in pajama pants and a tank, flour and grease smeared god knows where. The exploding microwave was, well, messy. Nephrite drops the basket on the floor and sweeps me in his arms, head tilted down so that his cobalt eyes are level with mine. Can you guys believe how lucky I am? "Hay babe, I'm game for a shower..." He waggles, not just wiggles but waggles, his brows as I sigh. Maybe not so lucky. "Nephrite..." I admonish gently. He laughs easily and spins me away from him before picking up the basket. "Go on, it's the lasagna right? Stick it in the oven for what, half an hour?" I nod and smile. "Okay... I brought some wine, I hope that isn't too fancy for you?" My smile widens to a grin. "You've been hanging out with Zoicite too long, he's the one set on all this fancy stuff but wine sounds wonderful. I be out in half an hour then?" Its Nephrite turn to nod as he heads off for the kitchen. I drop my keys on the table and dart for the shower. How in the world am I gonna get ready in a half an hour? No... I don't need time to primp. Me and my big mouth! After my five minute shower I stand in my room and towel my hair before grabbing the latest Paris hair gel off my dresser and running it through my hair. Normally I don't bother but my hair, and no I'm not being vain at all, is really pretty all curled up and it doesn't take that much effort so what the hell. I open my closet and pull out a random sundress to wriggle into before going back to the dresser where I keep my make up. On goes the lip-gloss, eye shadow, mascara, and a bit of foundation. I hum the Can Can as I work and pause to admire the result. I smile, pleased with the finished product, and check my watch. Hot damn! I'm done with five minutes to spare. I go to leave my room and pause long enough to smooth out my bedspread, a map of France. Nephrite greets me slightly more disgruntled than I left him, armed in a heart shaped lace apron and pink potholders with a dark expression on his face. "Lita," he says as I enter, "you moved the damn aprons again and this was all I could find." I almost stifle my giggles in time but once I start I can't stop. Nephrite waits impatiently, the perfect image of 50s domesticity, as one-foot taps. Finally the laughter ebbs and he takes two steps forward, pot holdered hands on the counter to either side of me as he effectively blocks me in. "Lita sweetie... Don't tell me you did that on purpose." I bite my lip and ruin the picture of abused innocence by snorting and collapsing in hysterics again. I see the anger building in the slight twitching of his mouth before he sighs and backs away. "On to different matters, *honey*, I have a surprise for you, two in fact..." My merriment melts abruptly away as I tense, momentarily panicked. Oh no, not tonight! "The first," Nephrite continues, ignoring or not noticing my reaction, " is right outside on your balcony..." I purse my lips as Nephrite grabs my hand and drags me almost unwillingly out of the kitchen and to the other side of the living room where the balcony door is. He turns to look at me for a heartbeat as his other hand goes for the doorknob. My own emerald gaze widens. "No!" I shriek as Nephrite howls and opens the door. Me almost making the culinary kitchen explode is nothing to compared to the chaos Nephrite has just unleashed. Ninety pounds of fur and muscle hurtles by me and whips around my neat, clean, quiet apartment faster than the eye can see before pausing for an instant to zoom in on me. "Nephrite!!" I wail as 'Baby' launches himself at me. I collapse under the dog as he throws himself on my chest and hits with the impact of a run away train. Nephrite was lucky I wasn't transformed in that instant or I would have oak evolutionized my boy friend's sneaky butt into oblivion. Instead I'm stuck lying on the floor as Baby, a mixed Great Dane, German Shepherd and whatever other kinds of BIG dogs there are out there in this cruel world, slobbers all over my face. What his obsession is with large stupid animals is I'll never be able to fathom, and at this point I'm not talking about my boy friend! "Nephrite..." The warning in my voice is cold and very real. Nephrite responds by picking Baby up in his arms easily, despite his size. I get to my feet as Nephrite croos. "Good puppy, good doggie woggie..." "I HATE that creature." Nephrite and Baby turn as one to face me; two sets of mournful eyes turned on full throttle. "Lita, baby, honey..." I stand and glare. "Absolutely not Nephrite!" He drops Baby and grabs my hands, face pleading. "Please!! Zoi has finals and he's going spastic. I swear he's going to like bomb something. Me and the guys decided a tactile retreat was in order and we're all rooming with our girls." The twinkle in his eyes warms me, the words don't. "I will not have the monstrosity in my apartment Nephrite." Nephrite's lower lip trembles as his eyes grow suspiciously large and round. If you guys think only girls can pull that crap then you haven't met my 'man'. "Lita, I promise he'll be good, and quiet. You won't even know he's here." I glance to Baby and... speaking of crap... "Nephrite, sweetie, " I grind out through clenched teeth. "Your invisible dog just took a dump on my sofa." Nephrite whirls and lets out a word that I won't bother to repeat as he dashes to the dog. "Bad Baby!" he intones as he shakes a finger at the beast. Baby's tongue lolls out in response to the chastisement. I cross my arms over my chest. Ten minutes later I'm still in the same position, my foot tapping now, as I watch Nephrite scrub the sofa cushions. Am I a bad person to take slight enjoyment out of this? I remember the dog slobber and feel a lot less guilty, and start to enjoy the scene a lot more. A half an hour later Nephrite is washed up again and Baby is locked in the bathroom, a reluctant move on my part but Nephrite swears its only for three days and he tickled me until I gave in. "Okay baby, time for your second surprise!" Nephrite takes my hands once more and starts to guide me to the sofa before he thinks better of it and makes a beeline for my recliner. My heart's thumping as he gently pushes me down and kneels on one knee, still holding my hands. His face, his noble face is flushed, excited, and he smiles that heart melting smile, the smile that made me fall for him in the first place, besides the whole destiny thing. "Close your eyes Lita..." He breathes the words and I feel my heart pounding with its own particular blend of excitement and pure panic. He drops one of my hands and I hear him reaching into his pocket for something. My breath quickens as he asks me softly, so softly, to open my eyes. It takes me about five minutes to find the courage to do so but finally I carefully crack open one eye. I expect to see a box, a velvet box held lovingly in the hands of the man asking me to marry him. Instead I see two rectangular pieces of paper. Its kinda a shock so that probably explains my next question. "What the hell is that?" Nephrite's grin widens. "Its plane tickets baby, to Paris, we're going to Paris!" I look at him blankly for a moment then look around my apartment, my apartment which is decorated with images of France and its heart, Paris. I look at my Eiffel Tower salt and pepper shakers, my poster of the Louvre, my Flag of France which is hung proudly above my fireplace, and burst out into tears. Author Notes: Hay peeps! Welcome to chapter one. =) Hope you enjoyed, am having fun writing it so far, hehe. Email me please okay? inspiredthoughts@hotmail.com and check out my site for my most updated stuff, http://www.geocities.com/keitree Umm kay. Bye bye. Oh and if you notice some stuff spelled wrong later on its probably cause I took three years of French and I get confused on how to spell French words in English. Me and my spell checker had a ten minute argument about how to spell the Effiel Tower, Eiffel Tower, whatever, I'm thoroughly confused now. =P Just like normal ne?