We all talk about how much sex we'd love to have if we weren't so busy, so tired, so distracted. But let's be honest: Maybe we're not having wild and crazy soap-opera-quality Minus points for soap opera mentioning sex because, well, we're just not that interested. To find out how much between-the-sheets action you really crave, answer the following questions.

1. Given the choice, would you rather:
a. Turn off the alarm and sleep as late into the morning as decency permits — and then a bit longer.
b. Have the man in your life roll over at 6 a.m., nibble on your neck, and go full throttle into your favorite brand of wake-up call. It just starts off on a bad note. I WANT BOTH DARN IT! BOTH BOTH BOTH! The 6 a.m. neckbiting extravaganza and then sleep until noon!!!! I want it all! Where's option 3???

2. Would you rather:
a. Spend an entire evening cuddling and kissing.
b. Spend 45 minutes in the most sweat-inducing sex of your life.
Both, Both, and MORE both. Oh yeah.

3. Would you rather:
a. Spend an entire day at the crème de la crème of spas, indulging in every treatment known to woman — from toes to tresses.
b. Sneak in an afternoon romp in the hay between chauffeuring the kids to soccer practice and picking them up after ballet lessons.
Now, we just get stupid. Of course comparatively I'm going to choose 1! What freakin kids? What ballet lessons? What soccer??? No way! How about an afternoon romp between treatments at the creme de la creme of spas!? That sounds much better.

4. Would you rather:
a. Spend the afternoon shopping for — and scoring — the ultimate pair of shoes, with your best girlfriend in tow.
b. Spend the afternoon in bed with your favorite guy, searching for — and finding — your ever-elusive G-spot.
I hate shoes. I think there's enough said.

5. Would you rather:
a. Spend a rainy evening curled up on the sofa with a truly gripping novel and an afghan pulled up to your chin, a cup of steaming tea in hand.
b. Hit the sack early for some pre–prime time nooky.
MORE BOTH! GIVE BOTH! Afgan with man, then early bed. These dipsticks have no appreciation for true indulgence.

6. Would you rather:
a. Enjoy a raucous evening with the girls, ogling male strippers and downing potent potables with cutesy umbrella garnishes.
b. Enjoy a raucous evening with your mate, doing your own striptease — followed, of course, by steamy sex.
Okay, now this one is just wrong. 'would you rather screw your mate and lust after random men you can't sleep with, or would you rather really screw your mate?' retarded. Completely. Option 2!

7. Would you rather:
a. Experience one solid day of complete peace and quiet — no kids, no friends, no husband.
b. Experience one solid day of lovemaking with your husband — no kids, no friends, no phone.
I don't have kids, I don't have friends, most of the time my phone is busy. I'd be so dang BORED with a day to myself anyway. Option 2!

8. Would you rather:
a. Delve into a long, intense and loving discussion with your partner about your shared future goals, plans, hopes and dreams.
b. Be scooped up and carried over the threshold of your boudoir for a steamy and utterly silent session of lovemaking.
Uhm, more both? What the heck is the problem with these people!

And giving all those responses, this is the result I get:
You're a no-nooky woman.

Since your sex drive is hovering around the "I'd rather grout the tub" level of enthusiasm, you need to give your relationship another look. Yes, alone time can be blissful, but be warned: If you've lost all interest in passionate sex (or any sex at all), you may be losing interest in your guy — or vice versa.

Ya know, I hate to reuse an old line, but there's just one thing I gotta say about that.

Freaks.

Link of the weekage:
For your internet browsing pleasure, this week I recommend This cartoon about a little thing called Trogdor. Has the crap word, otherwise decent. Relatively speaking.

Recipe: Cinnamon Apples

1 apple - cut into 16 pieces
2 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Melt butter in a frying pan over low heat, add apples, sprinkle with remaining ingredients. By the way, these are all approximations. Stir until apples are coated, cook over mediumhigh heat until apples are of desired softness.

It sucks when I cook without recipes and therefore don't remember them.