Some Crap I typed into Word

I really don’t want to write this paper, it’s stupid. I’ve already taken a loser English class and now I have to write a paper about BOOBS! Yes boobs! Ya know, breasts, tits, the old gazooma zooms. Of course, this is my own fault, I was allowed to pick the subject matter, but still. I was in the advance invitation only English class! And now look at me! Writing about BOOBS! Granted, I’m supposed to be writing about boobs and how they relate to science fiction with cultural implications.

This really bites. What kind of idiot writes about nudity in science fiction with cultural implications. Blah. And my stupid husband is sitting over there reading MY stupid book. Hey, hey you, that’s my book. Dork. He’s watching me to make sure I’m writing a whole page. Well I’m still not writing on my loser topic. Well gee whiz I got two paragraphs written and NEITHER ONE IS AN OPENING PARAGRAPH FOR MY PAPER!! I hate having to take freshman English again. This really bites. I could have this time filled up with Spanish 201 or something useful. No, instead I’m writing about boobs.

I hate my life. You know there’s not enough time in the day, it’s already almost 9:00 and I’m still not writing on topic. Topic…topic…topic…can’t write on topic, I haven’t got a clue of what I want to write about. This is all crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. I’m giving myself carpal tunnel to rant on the keyboard into a word document. This is so moronic, and it’s NOT HELPING. It isn’t. Hey, quit reading over my shoulder you dingbat. Don’t think I can’t see you out of the corner of my eye. It’s two paragraphs. Of course it’s the same type of paragraph twice. I CAN”T JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE IT OUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE….HEEY!! DON”T RUN AWAY!!!!

Dang it, he left. Now what? Uhm…crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap….hmmm…I don’t have a clue of what to write. This is so hard…and now the peanut gallery is off in the bedroom, reading my book. It’s a good book too, it’s by Robin McKinley, I guess I should be glad that my darling is reading books that interest me. Of course I’d rather have him be writing this paper for me. Crap, and the rough draft is due on Monday. Maaaannn….this is so lame. And I bet, once I get this typed, that my laser printer is going to crap out on me again. I hate my laser printer.

This printer, it’s demon possessed you know? It’s really really evil. It can’t print an entire document without having memory farts. It really hates me. The feeling is, of course, mutual but…

Oh yeah…boobs…supposed to be writing about boobs.

Hey look I just wrote nearly an entire page of CRAP! Let’s make it even.

CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP * deeep breath* CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP

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Link of the Week: Phoenix Linux User's Group we've been attending the Plug sammstich meetings for several months now. They're held at a quaint little bar called the "Bandersnatch" which immediately appealed to me because of Lewis Carroll.

Recipe of the Week:
Yeah, this is a feature, remember?

Applejuice Pork Chops:

Ingredients:

Pork chops (2)
a couple small handfuls of flour (2/3 cup)
a couple shakes of onion salt (1/2 to 1 tsp)
a tiny shake of pepper, black and white (less than a 1/4 tsp)
applejuice (at least 1 to 2 cups)
some oil (2 Tbsp)

Put the handfuls of flour, the onion salt, and the pepper in a plastic bag. Add the porkchops and shake until well coated.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over a medium-high heat. Add the flour coated pork chops and cook until slightly browned on both sides.

Add the applejuice until porkchops are nearly covered and reduce heat and cover skillet with a lid (redundant, but its stupidity insurance). Add applejuice occasionally as liquid reduces. Turn pork chops occasionally until done.

The longer you cook them and the more you leave the applejuice to reduce (you'll have to watch this carefully though) the more you'll get a lovely salty(from the flour mixture) apple glaze over the chops. The leftover sauce from cooking can also be used to make gravy if you don't find fruity gravy offensive.

The chops are very good served with cinnamon apples, which just may be the next recipe of the week!