Ok, I do and don't want to do this. I do because I feel very strongly about this, and that's what these rants are all about. I DON'T because people are going to misunderstand me and probably attack and mock me. I'm not afraid of that but it'll be annoying. It's really long this week, please bear with me. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, I am a Christian (albeit one that thinks Max Panic if funny) and quite happy to be so. But some of my fellows really make my poor sweet little head hurt. You see, they quite frankly make us look foolish. You know they do, you KNOW who they are. They're the ones who insist on believing stupid Urban Legends. Among other things. Well let's get right to the offensive sites. I'm going to work with only three today. These are sites I've found mostly by myself, though for capalert I did have the help of the The Brunching Shuttlecocks Let's start with the most harmless shall we. You better not have the music in you... Ah, let's start it light and ridiculous shall we? Sometimes I'm not quite sure if this site is just some strangely orchestrated joke. Note the name of the html file is "Crock"? Amusing, no? Well, anyway, this site is just annoying. His views may be valid but he's just really a pest. And his webdesign is bad. Really bad. Really painfully glaring multi-font sized & colored and excessive use of little "look" graphics and having to scroll way too much bad. Bad bad bad. But we've got worse, the worst this guy is guilty of is sowing doubt (which is ok, it's good to think about what we do) and being way too stubborn "We don't want to discuss..." "...only the King James Version..." Ok for one thing, the KJV isn't neccessarily the "best" translation it's just OLD. If you want to be prissy say you only want to go straight to the hebrew and greek. Now there's rightfully prissy. I really see Christian music as doing more good than harm, but if some people can't see it that way then they are entitled to that. Since he at LEAST doesn't question salvation or say you're going to hell for listening to christain rock we've just got an annoyance. The Numbers Don't Lie! (But as for me...) Oh the poor much maligned underfunded Cap Alert Guy... Now my friends we're going from the annoying to the actively creepy. What, you say, could be wrong with what he's trying to do? He's going to movies and telling you everything you could possibly find objectionable! Isn't that noble? Noble! Let us all give him money so he can sit in the theater and watch mostly PG-13 and R rated movies! HA! Yeah, right. That's why you're underfunded buddy, the Christian community is mostly not that stupid to fall for that. I, for no good reason, did a rough count and he's been to more R rated movies than PG and G combined. Wowsers! And don't tell me that's because "there's more of that out there..." well he completely ignores some perfectly good PG movies in favor of going to 8MM! You should KNOW that 8mm is about snuff films by reading summaries...WHY on this green earth did he even feel the need to tell us it was too disgusting to sit through! (Which it is by the way.) He did not review Powerpuff girls, it looks as if he has NO intention of reviewing Spirited Away. Stayed far away from Princess Mononoke which, being animated, probably was at more risk of being exposed to children. Ok, well, all this is moot. The point is, he lies like a dog. Yep, the great, "objective", "mathematical", "severe" capalert guy lies. He says he makes no "allowances for trumped up 'messages'" but gives Mary Poppins a perfect score despite the amount of magic in it. Says Mary is "angelic". Pl-ea-se. She's a witch as much as some other characters he slams on is. She flies, she has a talking umbrella. The little boy screams at "fair authority" he harps on other movies saying that being sorry afterwards doesn't make the disobedience ok. (not to mention "rum punch") Looks like he's being easy on nostalgia. In the review for Tigger Movie he leaves out the fact that the other characters lie to Tigger, while in Stuart Little 2's review he makes much of lying. He can't have missed it, it was a major plot point. He swears up and down that "numbers can't be repeated" but in the Unbreakable review he puts down dark atmosphere under two separate headings. It may be worded slightly different but there is no real difference in what the words mean. He's always harping about his objectivity, usually saying that he's going to "go against" it and recommend said movie. Well, calling every other R-rated movie "celluloid trash" doesn't sound too objective to me. He's also prone to exaggeration, saying of Lord of the Rings "...I suspect I can say with credibility that any of the imagery of evil you have seen before now does not match the evil in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring." Now the effects were good but that's saying a lot. (and his "I suspect" is pride, not self doubt.) Also he gets upset for people "imitating" the capalert model. He seems almost to idolize his own creation. And it IS his own creation. It may use biblical teaching but it's still his creation, his idea, it's human created. Even if it is God inspired it is still fallible. He does NOT give enough attention to this, and I feel that he is lulling people into false faith in him. Faith in HIM, the capalert guy, not faith in God. And personally, if it were ME and I'd written a program like that, I'd let people download it and have simple clear instructions on how to use it. The more helpers the better. The way I see it, he doesn't take volunteers to see movies because he'd much rather have HIS butt sitting in the air conditioning. As for his webdesign, well it's not AS painful but it could use a lot of polish. As it is it smacks of a semi-dedicated amateur or a pathetic frontpager. As is typical they want to make you scroll all over, like if you're too lazy to click your eyes WON'T glaze over after several pages of bland lifeless text. This guy just creeps me out, his intentions may be good...but you know what road is paved with those. God has given us a spirit of fear...of DOLLS! OooHooO! Now we got scary! And not just because of their webdesign which is hideous beyond all hideousness. Well, maybe not THAT bad but it definately wanders into the realm of the painful. Let's start by saying that these guys are definately extremists and even the other two looneys probably wouldn't encourage the fear-mongering and word-mincing that they tout as Biblical Truth. Among other things they: Tell you to Burn your dolls and toys (looks like kids have to go back to amusing themselves with empty boxes and their own genitals) ...And your paisley... say to not light candles. Seem to have a low opinion of rituals...yet burning is cool? seem to be under the mistaken impression that proctor and gamble are devil worshippers. Say spirals are evil and hint that Red Lobster and Lowry's seasoned salt are for having them on their plates and logos. Believe in the neccessity of Daily Prayer language (which I do not, the verses they use are deceptive, some say NOTHING about toungues. I believe that my natural language affinity is closer to "tongues" than the screeching prayer language that I've heard. The Bible in another verse (they conveniently leave out) they speak of giving different gifts to different people. And only SOME get speaking in tongues and OTHERS get understanding of tongues and OTHERS get healing. Leading people to believe that "If you're a believer you should do this daily..." is terrible. God can hear your THOUGHTS he doesn't need you to screech unintelligibly at him. It's a better example to speak in the native tongue than in something that mimics the very unholy possession they're speaking against. WHEW! Sorry, a real pet peeve of mine.) Alright, the point here is not to separate out all the wrong things they say, I believe that where Capalert, and the Music Man, have at least equal -if not greater- potential for good, these guys are just pure walking harm. They have so much twisted teaching mixed in with a few good lessons and terrible design that it's really dangerous to the vunerable. Oh and I turned the music off because it's a rare person who CAN stand midi music nonstop. (not because the devil made me do it...honestly that's second grade talk...)It's not even a nice high quality midi. Please, if you want to honor God, get a better midi. Point is, God wants us to be free, not afraid. Link of the Week: Uhm... err... The Brunching Shuttlecocks! I KNOW I said it up there...but they're buckets and buckets of fun! Modified Recipe of the Week: Tasty Cheesy Breadsticks: This is a bread machine recipe...sorry. Room Temp Water: 3/4 C Oil: 1 TBL Sugar: 1 TBL Salt: 1/2 tsp Bread Flour (all purpose works): 2 1/4 cups Yeast: 1tsp Combine in order suggested by your bread machine manual. Turn on, let run on Dough setting. When done remove dough from bread pan and cut into breadstick sized chunk. Place on cookie sheet to rise. In small bowl combine: Butter: 1/4 Cup Powdered Parmesan Cheese: 1/4 cup Pressed Garlic: 1 TBL Spread on sticks. Let rise until double-ish looking (actually you can stuff the things in the oven right now but I always give them at least 15 - 30 minutes of nice warm rising.) Bake in 350 degree oven for 15-20 min or so until lightly brown. Open oven, pour approximately 1 cup mozarella or Italian style cheese over breadsticks. Continue to bake until cheese is melted and brown on the edges. Goes great with pasta but your dorkish family will probably fill up on bread. Losers.