The characters of the rpg Final Fantasy VIII do not belong to me, therefor there is no use in suing me. The chara’s belong to Sony, Amano Yoshitaka-san and Square, and whoever else that wants to claim them as property, within the boundaries of law and copyright. Furthermore, the lyrics (you'll know where they are when you read them....~.^) are taken from the song “Bent” by Matchbox Twenty...all copyrights belong to the one(s) who wrote it. I did NOT write it!!!! Don’t sue me!!!

   And now, for the little warning... This is a SHONEN AI/YAOI-fic, e.g: boys with boys and whatever may come along that road...^-^ If you don’t have an open mind, or are just uncomfortable with these circumstances....why are you still reading??? >_<

I will not answer politely to any sort of flames, except the flames of love... ^_~

I want criticism!!! Please send me your comments to:

sakura_chan@starplace.com

By the way, this fic does contain some spoilers, so anyone who’s come all the way through the second disc, is open-minded and into shonen ai and yaoi, are free to read it!^_^ ...It’s better to have come through the second disc, so you’ll have some sort of grasp of the things I insinuate could have happened.

  Harigatou gozaimasu, minna-san!!!!

...Oh!! I almost forgot!! The two charas Aqua & Emaralde, are aaaall mine!! So don’t you dare steal them from me!! I’ll send Sephiroth after you to bring me your heads!!! ^_____^

 

~Visions of the Past~

 

By

 

Sakura-chan

 

 

                                                ~Chapter Four~

 

 

Upon arriving at Trabia Garden after a nice and easy cabtrip, Seifer at once gathered his things, and marched along the road up to the big entrance. It was only by luck that Aqua and Emaralde caught up to him, and when they did, Emaralde grunted:  “What’s up with you, all of a sudden!! First, you barge into our private compartment, and expect us to just smile and welcome you with open arms, and now, yer all hurryin’ to get away from us!!” he snarled as they entered the Garden, “What’s the matter, Seifer? Scared your precious friends might see you with a couple o’ queers??”

But, unlike what Emaralde expected, Seifer just turned to look at him, and said, calmly: “Seemingly observant, as always,  Emaralde. But, unfortunately... not too bright ...” he gave his most nonchalant smirk of superiority to Emaralde, and walked ahead of him and Aqua, turning to one of the students. “Excuse me, but, could you perhaps tell me where the guests of the festival have their rooms?”

The young student looked up at the tall blond, seeming not too comfortable with being the one he asked. His eyes went to either side of the room, as if looking for some way to escape, but gave up soon.

 

“Don’t you know? Then just say so, why don’t you!” Seifer said calmly, but failing to avoid sarcasm from flooding his voice.  The young man almost shrunk at the tone of his voice, and stuttered, while pointing to one of the eastern wings:

 

“N-no...sir..It’s...It’s right down there..t-to the left, sir...”

 

“Thank you.” Seifer said, a small nod, and then he was gone, heading for the wing the young student had pointed him to.

 

Aqua took pity on the young, seemingly horrified man, and went up to him, giving him a smile, and saying: “Don’t you mind him. He’s just...not in such a good mood today, I think. I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend you.”

 

“O-ok...” the young man said, relieved at the kind voice of the bluehaired man, and even smiled at him. 

 

******

 

After they all had been given their separate rooms, it was about time for some dinner. Aqua and Emaralde headed for the cafeteria and Aqua decided to persuade Seifer into tagging along. So he did, however, reluctantly. What if he’d bump into one of them? They’d all see just what a failure he had turned out to be. Or, maybe they just wouldn’t care.  He pulled at the neck of his red sweater; it was too tight. It felt like he was being strangled. He shrugged at the memories floating to the surface of his mind.

As they entered the cafeteria, there wasn’t even a second before he saw them, sitting by a table at the far end of the spacious room, and instantly, his heart started beating faster. There he was, Zell, brilliant like the sun as always, his tattoo shimmering in the fluorescent light, and his grin as wide as always. The radio was playing by the counter, its eerily familiar music flowing from the speakers. And as the first phrase hit his mind, Zell turned and saw him.

“Well, if I fall along the way... Pick me up and dust me off... And if I get too tired to make it... Be my breath, so I can walk...”

 

And to Seifer’s utter surprise, Zell smiled at him. It wasn’t one of his grins, but a genuine smile. He got up from his place beside Selphie, and started walking over to where he and the other two were sitting.

For every step Zell took, Seifer’s heart sped up even more, and he could swear his cheeks were turning a warmer shade of peach pink.  “Hiya Seifer!!” the tattooed blond called out, still being a few feet away from the table that they were sitting by, “I heard from Selphie you were one of the guests of honor...” he grinned, “... As are the rest of us old guys.”

 

He casually strolled up to where Seifer was sitting, opposite to Aqua and Emaralde, who were looking at the blond approaching their table. Emaralde, being the suspicious type, thought; Oh no! Not another one! while Aqua’s face lit up with a smile.  “Zell!” he exclaimed, and got up to greet Zell with a short hug and a shake of hands, before starting to ask all sorts of questions about his trip to Trabia.

Emaralde’s face dropped to the floor, and his eyes, at first being wide orbs of green, soon turned into thin lines of pure jealousy.  “Hey! That’s my boyfriend you’re fondling!!!” he growled, and brought Zell’s and Aqua’s attention back to the two at the table.

 

Zell immediately took a step away from Aqua, holding his hands up to show his intentions were nothing but peaceful, so to speak. “Ok..ok..calm down, will ya!” Zell said, and then walked up to Seifer, giving him a warm smile, and sat himself down beside him, “I just came over to say hey to my friend Seifer, here.” he showed with a small knick of the wrist towards Seifer, and gave Emaralde a small grin.

 

“Figures.” Emaralde snorted, “So.. how did the two of you meet?” he turned to Zell, closely watching his every move, waiting for his reply, with a suspicious look on his face.

 

Zell calmly returned the look, and replied: “Aqua and I met on the train to Timber. ...and if I may ask, how come you all know each other?” he cast a look at the three beside him at the table, and noticed as both Seifer and Emaralde seemed to grow tense.

 

“Emaralde and I met on the train to Timber as well.” Seifer stated calmly, his eyes never leaving the teeth-gritting Emaralde, “And I bumped into Aqua at the Timber Trainstation. ...have been travelling with them ever since then...” 

 

No more time did he have to explain, before a squeal of happiness reached his ears, and he turned his head to the source of the voice.  “Seifer!!!!” Selphie cheered, and threw her arms around his neck, not caring that Zell was in the way, “Oh, I’m sooo glad to see you!!” she exclaimed, pulling away to push Zell off the plush seats of the booth and sitting herself down beside Seifer. Not one moment did she let pass, before she started showering him with questions about this and that and how things had been during these four years that they hadn’t seen each other.   “...How were things...in Galbadia..?” she asked, careful not to mention the prison, as she didn’t know if he had told his friends at the table, “Oh! I’m sorry! I’m Selphie Tilmitt, headmaster of this Garden. Nice to meet you!” she said, shaking Aqua’s and Emaralde’s hands, before turning back to Seifer, waiting for his reply. He reluctantly replied, feeling quite uncomfortable to be so close to one of the people who should resent him the most.

 

“...Things were...kind of rough, I guess. But, I gather it doesn’t matter where you are staying. It’d still be just as rough to get by.”

 

“Oh.” she nodded, not knowing how to continue in her onslaught of questions. But, before she had the opportunity to, another voice joined the conversation.

 

“.... Well, look who’s here, Irvie. If it isn’t Mr. Almasy himself...”  Seifer tensed at that voice, in spite of the softness it was laced in, a softness that he couldn’t remember belonged to it.  Squall! his mind screamed at him, and he couldn’t bring himself to look up. A cold sweat broke forth on his forehead, and he thanked the gods he was still wearing his gloves, because he felt his palms starting to get clammy.

“Squall.” he stated, trying to remain calm, and turned his head upwards, to look at his former enemy.

 

And, there he was, standing by a much more casually dressed Irvine, whose hair was significantly shorter, and... more tousled, than usual.  He stood up to at least give Squall’s hand a shake, and that was when he noticed. In order for Squall to shake hands with him, he first had to let go of Irvine’s. In spite of himself, Seifer’s jaw fell to the floor. Squall and Irvine holding hands...with each other??? He couldn’t quite grasp it, but there was something different about the entire appearance of Squall. He somehow seemed ...happy.

 

Seifer shook hands with him and Irvine, and sat back down, trying to fully comprehend just what was going on. For one moment he thought he had been imagining it all; Irvine and Squall hadn’t really held hands. He had just imagined it in some foolish hope that once it would be him and Zell holding hands. Yes, that was it, he decided. Why else wouldn’t anyone else have said anything? He couldn’t have been the only one who had seen it!

Emaralde and Aqua scooted further into the boothlike seats, so that Squall and Irvine could have a seat. And as soon as they had sat themselves down, it was Squall’s turn to ask questions.  “So, Seifer.” he began, “When did you get back from Galbadia?”

 

Seifer hesitantly replied: “...about... two, three months ago.”

 

“I see.” Squall said, looking at him with a weird glimmer in his eyes, that Seifer couldn’t recall he had ever seen there.

 

“I heard from Selphie you’ve got a job at that restaurant...what’s it called again?” Squall asked, turning to Irvine.

 

“How’m I supposed to know?”

 

“Well, you were there when Selphie told us about it!!” Squall grunted in response, and then turned his attention back to Seifer, who by this time was certain they were making fun of him. How could they find it interesting to hear about his fish-reeking job at some stupid restaurant, when they all had got themselves a decent place in the world? Maybe if he had owned the restaurant, he could have been proud about it, but he was only the guy who cleaned up after everyone else. He didn’t even have a place of his own, or money enough to pay Raijin part of the rent.

 

“...Raijin’s Restaurant....” he said, clearing his throat.

 

“Yeah that’s the place. What was the name again?” Irvine grinned, and Seifer could swear he was mocking him. He hadn’t asked *anyone* to come sit by this table!! But still, they were crowding him, pushing him up against the wall with their leering questions. “Raijin’s Restaurant!! The name is Raijin’s Restaurant!” he roared, fed up with their disgusted eyes, hidden by that facade of actually caring, He got up and made his way out of the booth, “Just ...leave me the fuck alone.” he said, hoping that they wouldn’t follow him with those empty, shallow stares.

 

“Seifer!” someone called, and he immediately recognized the voice, even if it had changed slightly. No, not her... he thought, and walked away swifter than he had intended to. But she caught up to him, grabbing him by the arm. In pure instinct, he pulled away, turned around, expecting someone else to stand there in front of him.  “Don’t touch me!” he hissed, stumbling backwards, staring at that dark pink hair appearing before him, replacing her darkbrown hair, and changing her warm brown eyes into cold, dark  purple ones. Her concern turning into a grin of cruelty, eyes piercing him, gaining pleasure in his fear.

 

“... But, Seifer!” she pleaded, but he didn’t listen, he couldn’t let her soft voice fool him into believing she cared.

 

“No... no.. Leave me alone!” he stammered, and fled, turning on his heels and hurrying out of the cafeteria; anything to escape the visions of his past.

 

“Seifer...” she whispered, knowing that he couldn’t have heard her, and fell silent, her brown eyes slowly filling with tears. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, it hurt to be rejected by the two men that had meant the most to her. First, Squall had left her for Irvine... Or, he hadn’t actually left her, since they had never really been a couple, even though she had hoped her heart out that they would be. And now Seifer, rushing away from her as if she was his worst nightmare unfolding into reality.

 

“What is *wrong* with that guy!” Emaralde said, breaking the awkward silence that had flowed over the whole cafeteria. Though, no one really felt like speaking up, since none of them knew what they had said wrong.

 

“Why’d you have to do that for!” Squall finally growled at Irvine, who immediately objected.

 

“What!? What did I do?” he asked, feeling how anger rose within him.

 

“You just had to go be rude, didn’t you! You just had to dig your nose into his private life!!” Squall snarled, getting up from his seat at the table.

 

“What do you mean private life!?” Irvine growled, getting up to go after Squall, who was already walking away from him, “That...that...thing doesn’t have a private life!! He doesn’t even have a decent job, for Hyne’s sake! He’s just come out of prison, and what sort of a great thing is that? He spent three measly years in that place, three years, to make up for what he did to everyone!! And did he change? No! He hasn’t changed one bit, Squall Leonheart!!!”

 

Squall swiftly swirled around to face his love, and he did so with his greyblue eyes set on mortifying glare-mode, his lips going up in a snarl.  “What gives you the right to judge that?! You don’t know him, Irvine!! You didn’t spend years with him at Garden!! You have nothing to do with this, so just back the fuck off!!!”

 

To Squall’s, and everyone else’s surprise, Irvine laughed, but it wasn’t at all a heartfelt laughter.  “I know,” he began, “that Seifer was a spoiled brat when we were kids; he was the Rolemodel of any son-of-a-bitch!! And he is still that spoiled bastard if you ask me...”

 

Back at the table, Zell was still standing up beside Selphie, his face lowered to his feet, and his fists on the table, his knuckles whitening.  Aqua watched from the other side of the table as those fists tightened for every word that was said by the fighting couple.  “Emmy... I think he’s gonna blow up, Emmy-koi...”

 

“Uhuh... Let’s just...”

 

“Yeah...” they agreed, and slowly removed themselves from the table, leaving the fuming Zell to self-combust if he so wished.

 

“..A spoiled bastard?? That sure came from the right person, Mr. I’m-so-tired-go-get-me-the-remote-control!!... Mr. I’m-so-High-and-Mighty-I-don’t-have-to-clean-up-after-myself!!!” Squall roared, like the Leonheart he was, “Mr. I’don’t-mind-leaving-food-out-in-the-open-to-rot-because-I-know-my-dear-Squall-will-take-care-of-it!!!”

 

“STOP IT!!” Zell roared, making himself heard over both of the furious fighters, “Just STOP IT, both of you!!!” he got up, and walked over to the both of them, stopping right in fron of both Squall and Irvine, forcing himself to calm down. When he spoke, his voice was audible only to the ones standing close.  “I thought you both were more mature, than to start a brawl in front of all the young students here. And, Irvine, I understand that you have some issues to work out with Seifer, but if you have to talk ill of him, I think you should tell it to his face, instead of talking behind his back.” he shot a glare at both of them, before continuing, his voice  biting, but calm:  “Now, if you *gentlemen* will excuse me, I have to go check on a friend of mine.”

 

*******

 

Seifer’s heart was pounding furiously. He knew it had been stupid to come all the way here, to Trabia, only to be ridiculed by the ones who had fought him and defeated him, over and over again. Refusing to let it get to him, he increased his pace and turned in on the corridor that led to his room. The only light showing him the way, was soft greenish sources of light attached to the walls. He could have sworn it was some sort of glowing materia.

He could almost hear how they had laughed at him after he fled from the cafetaria. Their voices, their condescending laughter and sneering charged up into a cacophony of shrieking sounds, piercing his head. He hurried into his room, right after stabbing in the code to unlock it, and locking it up with another one from the inside. He didn’t want anyone to burst into the only private space he had.

He stopped dead in his tracks. On the small table by the window, just by the vase of flowers, was a small envelope, whiter than snow, and with the darkest red of intricate patterns swirling around the edges.  ...it wasn’t here before...was it? he pondered, thinking that maybe Selphie had put one of those into every guestroom. But, still, his gut told him otherwise. As he stepped closer, he saw something written on it, in thin, complicated handwriting. He took another step towards it, and then another, until he was standing in front of the table, staring at the letters, forming words, that he only knew too well.

 

 

~If you don’t scream, no one will hear you~

 

 

“No..No, no, no, no, no!!!” he stammered, stumbling backwards, as fast as he could, desperate to get out of there as quickly as possible. He tumbled over a chair, landing with his face first on the floor, but immediately struggling to get up, and then stabbing in the unlocking code. He failed, small red letters flashing before his eyes, ‘Error’. He tried again, furiously stabbing at the numbers. Why was it so hard to get it right?! He prayed, begged to the gods that he didn’t enter the wrong code again. ‘Clear’ the letters said, flashing before him, now in a bright green color, and he dashed out, stumbling over his own legs into a heap on the floor.

 

“Seifer!” someone called out, and as he looked up, he saw a dark figure looming above him.

 

“No..no..no, no, no, no...please, no!” he rambled on, the words just flowing without any real effort put into it. He couldn’t go through Hell all over again, he couldn’t bear it. He knew it would kill him to be put through all of that...

 

“Seifer...Are you ok?” the figure said, its voice changing from that distorted rasping of his memory, and replaced by the soft warmness of Zell. The dark figure knelt down beside him, and looked at him, the ocean blue eyes glittering, concern filling them to the brim. And then, he saw the honey blond eyebrows, the slightly paler hairline, and the eyelashes, the cheeks and chin, the lips being only a thin line of worry.

 

“Zell!” he gasped, his breaths coming in racing, shallow intakes of air, though no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. His heart beat so unnaturally fast.

 

“Seifer...you’re hyperventilating!! Gods, what happened?!” Zell inquired, demanded to get an answer, while helping him to his feet.

 

“...I can’t.... I’m not staying in that room!! I want another room! I’m not...”

 

“Hush, calm down, Seifer man! Calm down, and tell me what happened.” Zell said, trying not to let his worry shine through. The taller of them leaned back against the wall, his eyes never leaving the door to his room. His erratic breathing had slowed down, and he seemed a bit calmer now that he wasn’t alone. Zell watched him for a moment, trying to see in his face what had scared him so. His usually slicked back hair was tousled, and a few strays of his bangs were slicked to his forehead, small beads of cold sweat rolling down his temples.  “Seifer...”

 

“Someone was inside my room!! Someone broke into my room, Zell! Someone knows my code, somebody knows!!”  Zell had been wrong, he noted to himself, Seifer hadn’t calmed down one bit.

 

“Someone was in your room? Who? Just now?”

 

“Yes... I don’t know!! And no, not just now!” Seifer gritted his teeth, slowly sliding down on the floor again, his face hidden in his hands. Zell sat down beside him, and put an uncertain hand on his shoulder.

 

“...then, how do you know someone was in your room, Seifer? Tell me what happened.”

 

Seifer struggled. Struggled not to let Zell see just how close he was to breaking down into a wreck of tiny Seifer pieces. He struggled not to let Zell see the tears that had sprung to his eyes, stinging and burning behind his eyelids. After taking a deep breath, and making sure his eyes weren’t brimming with tears, he looked up and said, fighting to keep his voice steady:  “They left a message.” he said, biting his teeth together so Zell wouldn’t see how his lower lip trembled, “A pure white envelope, with red patterns at the edges ...”

 

“What did it say?”

 

Why couldn’t he just go away? Why couldn’t he just leave him alone like the rest of those lying hyenas laughing at him behind his back?! Why did he just sit by him, his hand on his aching shoulder, and tormenting him with questions too painful to answer?! But instead of running away, like he always did, Seifer stayed put.  “‘If you don’t scream, no one will hear you’. That’s what it said.”

 

Zell froze, removing his hand from the trembling shoulder, just like Seifer knew he would. Just like they all would, if the found out for real.  “That’s a hell of a creepy thing to write!” he exclaimed, standing up, and walking towards the still unlocked door.

 

“NO!” Seifer cried out, “Don’t go in there!!” he was on his feet faster than lightning strikes, and he pulled Zell away from the door, fearing what might still lurk in the shadows inside his dark room.

 

“What?” Zell asked calmly, not seeming to be bothered by Seifer holding him by the arms. Seifer took his hands away from him, embarrassed that he had let his own fear control him instead of vice versa.  “...don’t go in there...” he repeated, scowling at himself silently for sounding like a scared boy. But he was scared. Utterly scared.

 

“I will. I want to see that envelope. Maybe we can find out who broke into your room...” Zell sated calmly, looking at Seifer with his big blue eyes, “If you don’t want to come in, then, you just stay in the doorway, watching over me, ok?”  After a moment of thinking, Seifer nodded.

 

“Good.” Zell smiled, and stepped up to the door, which swooshed open, automatic as it was. Zell took a step inside and turned the lightswitch on, so he could see the room, and behind him, Seifer cautiously came up to peek over his shoulder.

“Now, where is that envelope you told me about?” Zell  asked, looking about the room, searching with his eyes. Seifer stepped forward, to show him where it was, but when he looked at the table by the window, and the vase of flowers, he froze in enhanced fear. The envelope was gone.

 

“No.” Seifer gasped, pushing himself past Zell, who stood by, staring at him in a confused fashion. He stopped in front of the table, his hands waving about in the air like the trembling mass of flesh and bones they were.  “No. This isn’t happening!!” he whimpered, trying to keep his calm and look at everything rationally. There had to be a logical explanation to all of this! There had to be!! He crouched down, to look under the table, but found nothing, he looked under the carpet, but found nothing there either. He stood back up, a hand threading through his hair, slightly pulling it, only to make sure he was still there. He hadn’t died and gone to Hell.

 

“Seifer? What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s...it’s gone...the envelope’s gone!!” he spoke aloud, his voice cracking slightly under the strain he felt weighing him down.

 

“...I’m sure it has to be here somewhere...” Zell tried, but Seifer wouldn’t listen.

 

“No. It was here. Right here!! ...and now it’s gone!” he hissed, his eyes darting to every corner of the room, every possible hideout, every shadow. What if his tormentor was still in there?! He couldn’t stand it any longer. He had to get out of there. He turned around, going past Zell and out into the corridor. There he turned on his heels to watch Zell as he joined him. The door silently swooshed shut behind Zell’s confused appearance.

 

“I think we should report this.” he noted, more to himself than to Seifer.

 

“No! You can’t tell anyone!! Please Zell, you have to promise me!! Don’t tell anyone of this!!!” Seifer begged, his terrified icy blue eyes pleading with Zell, who could find no way to refuse. He nodded against his own will, but was relieved to see a bit of calmness seep into Seifer’s eyes.

 

“...but, if you refuse to stay in your room, then...”

 

“Mhm...I know... I have to figure something out... But I can’t stay in there!”

 

“I know. I know, Seifer. Relax. I’m not here to screw you around.” Zell told him, “...If you don’t have anywhere else to turn to, why don’t you come over to my quarters? It’s not far ...”

 

Seifer almost lost the ability to speak, when Zell made such a generous offer.  He found himself unable to move, and even less capable of turning his eyes away from that blue-eyed angel of a man.  “Are you..sure? I mean... I’m sure it would be a lot of trouble... Uhm...I mean...” he mumbled, scratching his neck.

 

“It’s ok. I promise! If nothing else, we could always stay up all night talking... just like last time...” he smiled at Seifer, who instantly looked at least a bit less uncomfortable. 

 

“Ok ...If it’s really alright with you...”

 

“It is! Now, come on. Let’s go! It’s already late enough.” Zell grinned as he took the lead, showing the way to his room further down the corridor, close to the main hall. Seifer followed him, cautiously casting looks at the shadows and dark areas of the corridor, expecting none less than the Devil himself to jump forth from one of the rooms.

When they finally reached Zell’s quarters, Seifer was so worked up, so tense, that the mere fact that Zell stopped in his tracks, made him jump.  “There. We’re here.” Zell gladly announced, and tapped in the four-digit code to unlock the sliding door. He showed for Seifer to enter freely, and after some hesitation, he stepped in, followed by Zell, and his voice, saying:

“So... Seifer...”

 

“Yes?” he turned around, to face the shorter blond. Zell walked up past him to sit down on the bed, motioning for Seifer to have a seat on one of the chairs.

 

“I was just wondering...” he began, “... what was it, that ticked you off? I know Irvine’s a bit blunt in showing his non-affection towards you, but... I didn’t think it would upset you like that.” he paused, as if to think through a strategy, “The Seifer I knew wouldn’t have let Irvine’s petty comments bother him...” but he was interrupted, by Seifer, sitting himself down on one of the chairs, huffing:

 

“The Seifer you knew wouldn’t have let a note on his guest room table upset him. He wouldn’t have been so freaked out, that he couldn’t stay in his assigned quarters ...” he gave a tired smile, and turned his eyes up to look at the dumbfounded man on the bed, “Thanks, Zell, for everything. I never thought I’d find a friend in you. ...not after all the years of BS I put you through...”

 

Zell chuckled briefly, and returned the look with brilliant eyes. He quoted:  “’What’s up chicken-wuss? Swatting at flies?’” he grinned, “If I remember correctly, that’s what you said on our mission to become SEEDS ...” but he quickly stopped himself, seeing the slightly solemn look creeping across Seifer’ face.

 

“...I’m sorry for ruining the mission, Zell. ...and I’m sorry for coming all the way to Timber, only because I thought you couldn’t handle it without me... thinking that you of all guys would need help..” he smiled bitterly, looking at the floor. He knew he had ruined so many things for not only Zell, but for all of the others. Not only them, either, what about all of the thousands of people that that Sorceress told him were to be punished? They didn’t deserve it either, but still, he did what he was told back then. What brought him out of his thoughts were Zell’s soft, warm voice.

 

“...Don’t be sorry about that. If there hadn’t been for you, we would never have gone to the tower, and we would never have stopped those guys from turning it into that...thing they were trying to make!!” he said, gesturing in the air with his hands, gloveless, as they had been ever since Seifer had seen him on the beach. Zell sighed, and continued talking, not knowing that the sound of his voice was the sweetest thing to Seifer, “And, about you coming all the way to Timber ...I guess it showed you cared at least a bit about our safety.”

 

“Really?” Seifer asked dryly. Zell couldn’t mean that. “You really believe that? That I cared about you? ..about your safety?” the dry smile became dry laughter, tired laughter, and he said: “What makes you think that I ever cared about anyone but myself back in those days?” 

 

For the briefest instant, Zell actually looked sad in Seifer’s eyes, but it swiftly vanished, a tight expression on his face, as if he had been insulted. Seifer remembered that look all too well from the days of Balamb Garden. Zell said, his voice as tight as the expression on his face:  “I’m sorry, Seifer. But I actually believed that even you had a human side. I always thought, maybe even hoped, that you weren’t the *egotistic*, *self-righteous* bastard you seemed to be.” he got up from his place on the bed, and went over to a small cupboard.  “Would you like some water or something? Maybe some coffee?” he asked, the dryness in his voice still there, “But, no!” he turned around, a mocking, almost condescending expression on his face, “You don’t drink coffee! I’m so sorry, Seifer! Please do forgive me!!” not did he have time to finish his sentence, before a chilling, psychotic laughter erupted from his lips.

 

No...no, please! Not you too! Seifer begged, staring at the smugly grinning Zell, “..please...not you too...” ... Anyone but you!

 

“Are you alright?” a soft voice asked him, coming from seemingly out of nowhere.  At the sound of the voice, his head turned sharply to his left, his eyes locking instantly with the clear blue eyes of Zell. He lifted a glass of water to Seifer, and he took it, even though his hands shook. He shifted his eyes from the concerned, questioning face of Zell beside him, and the place where he was certain he had stood just seconds ago. Had he seen a vision? Maybe he was hallucinating, he didn’t know. He just knew that Zell was sitting beside him, looking at him with those kind eyes trying to understand him.  “It seemed you went away there, for a moment... Are you ok?” he asked, the kind, warm voice there again.

 

“I... I-I’m sorry...” he said nervously, “I don’t know what happened... It was just so weird.”

 

“What did you see? If you don’t mind me asking...”

 

“No, it’s alright. I..I guess. I saw you...standing over there... I don’t know... it was like a nightmare of sorts. You just...changed.” he turned his eyes to the waterfilled glass he held in his still trembling hands, “...You were laughing at me...the most horrible laughter, shrieking and cracking, like a madman’s...” he shrugged,and felt a hand land softly on his shoulder.

 

“Do you see this sort of things often?” Zell asked, his voice warm. Like the sun on a cold spring day, it warmed Seifer’s freezing body.

 

“...No.... Only since... the line-cruiser...” he shrugged again, feeling indescribably cold. Freezing, as he remembered that same laughter, that he had now, for a second thought belonged to Zell.

 

“How about telling me what happened, hmm?” Zell asked, and then smiled, “Drink some of that water, and I’m sure you’ll feel better.” he said, getting up from the floor, and sat back down on the bed.

 

“I... I was standing out on the deck, and Aqua and Emaralde passed to get to their cabin. When I turned back to the ocean, I thought I heard, or felt, something move past me, and I had the worst sense of panick. It was like instinct. Pure instinct. I had to get out of there. But, I told myself it was my imagination. Later, just a few moments later, I heard the most horrifying laughter, and it brought back that same instinct to run away.”  Zell watched closely as Seifer’s trembling slowly subsided, as the silence settled over the room. With a sigh, and a nervous smile, Seifer was the one to break the silence.

“...You think I’m losing it, don’t you?” he said, and turned to face Zell’s face, which turned into the perfect image of denial.

 

“No... No, I don’t think that!!”

 

“It’s ok... To be honest, I think I’m going crazy ... I mean, why else would I see things, hear things, that aren’t even there? Why would I be hallucinating?”

 

Zell took a moment to think, and then stood up, scratching his head, much like a little boy.  “...I don’t know. To be quite frank, I haven’t got the slightest idea.” he said, while sitting back down on the bed. He looked at Seifer for a moment, a curious look on his face. After a while of looking at him, wondering at how uncomfortable he looked, sitting there slumped in the chair, he said:  “Things weren’t too easy in jail, were they?”

 

He really tried to make his voice sound soft, and kindly interrogative, to show that he didn’t demand any answer from Seifer. But even then, Seifer’s head snapped up to him, his dark grayblue eyes widened in shock.  “...what?” he mouthed, unable to get any sound come forth from his lips, and Zell instantly regretted his ill-timed question, and found he was blushing.

 

“..er...nevermind...I didn’t mean to stick my nose into other people’s business...”

 

Seifer shook his head slowly, his head lowered to the floor, and sighed.  “It’s ok, Zell. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine, ain’t I?” he asked, unaware that it gave Zell a sense of him being somewhat lost.

 

“Well...uhm.” he stuttered, not knowing what to say. An eerie feeling settled over the room, and soon, they hadn’t said anything for minutes. Finally, Seifer was the one to break the silence.

 

“Why are you doing this, Zell?”

 

“What?” Zell replied, honestly not having the slightest clue as to what Seifer was talking about.

 

“...why are you being this kind to me?” Seifer sighed, “We both know I don’t deserve it.”

 

After a short moment of just looking at the once so stoic blond before him, Zell looked straight into his eyes, and asked him:  “What makes you say that? Everyone needs someone to be there for them. Everyone needs and deserves kindness once in a while. Even you, Seifer. I consider you my friend and as such, I think it’s only right for me to be your friend as well.”

 

“Well, that’s sure heartwarming...” Seifer replied, turning his eyes away from Zell’s questioning ones.

 

“Don’t start on me, Seifer. We’re both too tired to pick fights with each other.” he went over to a small drawer in the corner of the room where Seifer was sitting, and took out a warm comforter.

 

“You can take the bed, Seifer. I’ll sleep on the armchair.”

 

“No... I couldn’t. It’s your bed, Zell...I really couldn’t!” Seifer persisted, shaking his head, still not looking at Zell.

 

“Well,” Zell smiled, crouching down to look Seifer in the eyes, “..I’m not gonna take it, so... You might as well accept my hospitality here.”

 

After some thought, Seifer nodded, still not knowing what to do. He wasn’t used to such kindness, and he sure had never expected it to come from one of his former enemies. He put away the glass on the table by the window, and stood up, waiting for Zell to do something that might show him what to do.  “In case you want to get changed, I think I could find something that might suit you.” Zell said, walking over to the drawer where he had put his clothes, “Now, I know I’m shorter than you, so don’t you try making some lame joke out of it. And... Hey!!” Zell said, his voice turning into a small yelp as something dark and big hopped on him from nowhere. Seifer gasped in shock, and stumbled back into the chair again, clutching at his chest to prevent his heart from beating its way out of his ribcage.  “Myrrh!! I thought I told you not to jump on me like that!” Zell said in a matter-of-factly tone, that Seifer had a hard time remembering from any other time.

 

“What the hell was that!!!” he croaked, still clutching at his chest, staring at the big white and brown furball that was perched on Zell’s shoulder.

 

“Oh... I forgot. Sorry Seifer.” Zell smiled, turning around to look at Seifer, but the smile on his lips quickly disappeared as he saw the expression on Seifer’s face.  “Seifer! Are you alright?! By Hyne, you’re pale!” he said, while holding a nightshirt in his arms.

 

“I’m fine...I’m fine. Geesh, that thing scared the hell out of me!!”

 

Zell smiled, seeing that Seifer wasn’t as near death as he seemed:  “This thing, is my cat. Her name is Myrrh, and usually, she isn’t prone to scaring the hell outta people...”

 

Seifer nodded, still looking at the cat suspiciously.  “It doesn’t bite, does it?”

 

“Not if she isn’t provoked to do it, or feels pressured or threatened. But, sometimes, she gets in ‘playmode’, and then she can be quite a pain in the ass, if you’ll excuse my choice of words.” Zell smirked, and took hold of his cat and put her down on the floor.

 

“Playmode??” Seifer asked warily, suddenly feeling a bit unsure to whether this cat was friendly or not.

 

“Don’t worry. Normally she only wants me to play with her. She doesn’t bother others with her claws, I assure you.” he smiled, handing Seifer the nightshirt, “Here. If you wish, there is a small bathroom there, in which you could change.”

“Thanks...”

 

And so, Seifer changed into the nightshirt that Zell so kindly had provided him with, and soon went back into his room, climbed into the bed, and pulled the comforter up to his chin. Zell went into the bathroom, and Seifer laid back, listening to the sound of the water running, and Zell brushing his teeth.  “...Good night, Seifer...” Zell whispered from his place at the chair, after coming back out of the bathroom, wearing a set of dark pyjamas.

 

“...good night, Zell... Thanks for everything..”

 

“No problem...” Zell mumbled, smiling as his eyes slowly fluttered shut, and settling into the chair and pulling the comforter closer. He was soon asleep, leaving Seifer with a growing sense of loneliness, and fear creeping up his spine.

But, Seifer fell asleep too, even though he lay awake for several hours listening to every sound in the room, trying to concentrate on the soft sounds of Zell’s breathing. He found he liked the slight snore that came from Zell’s sleeping form, and more than once he found himself smiling at the sound.

But the dream that so settled over his mind, was one that he wouldn’t forget in the nearest future; one that he would never forget, and had cherished since childhood. It was a dream of what had been one of the happiest days in his young life as a boy, living at the orphanage somewhere in the outlands of nowhere.

 

                                                            ***

 

            It was a sunny day, filled with the twittering of birds flying around and settling on the branches of the trees and bushes, and the sound of two young boys laughing and chasing each other.  Their voices were carried over the wind, and for once Matron was actually happy to see the two boys together. She smiled as she watched them running around on that vast field of flowers, and even though she knew she had to, she was reluctant to call them in for supper.  “Boys!” she called from the kitchen window, “Zell... Seifer! It’s time for supper now. Hurry and get inside before the food gets cold!!”

 

The boys took no notice of her, as they laughed and cheered, and took turns in chasing each other around.

 

“Zeeell!! ...no fair!!!” Seifer laughed, “You suhprised me!!”

 

Zell ran on, giggling happily, running even faster, determined that the older boy wouldn’t catch him.  “Naah-nah-naah-na-naah-nah!!!” Zell cheered, knowing that it would tease his friend, as he set up an even faster speed, and hurried down the small slope which led to the house by the beach. But, running down the hill came to a sudden stop, when Seifer caught him and lifted him up in the air, swirling him around for as long as he had the strength. Zell’s sparkling laughter became a glittering river of giggling, and he held on to Seifer’s neck for dear life as he was swirled around and around.  But, being a small boy, Seifer soon lost strength, tripped, and tumbled down the slope with Zell still in his arms.

Their laughter mingled like the wind mingled with the leaves on the trees and the flowers on the field they were tumbling on. Soon, their tumbling came to an end, as they slowly came to a stop by the end of the slope. Seifer lay beside Zell on the soft grass, still smiling. Zell’s giggling still hadn’t stopped, and it poked on Seifer’s curiosity.

 

“Zell?”

 

“Hnnhnn....Yeah?” Zell giggled, and rolled over on his side to look into Seifer’s bright blue eyes.

 

“Whas’ so funny?”

 

“....I never thought it could be so fun ta roll dow’ a slope before...”

 

Seifer chuckled at the bright gleam of joy in Zell’s eyes, and suddenly felt a question tugging at his mind.  “Zell..?” he asked.

 

“Uhuh?”

 

“...you my friend??”

 

Zell smiled, showing of his small teeth, and the big lack of one of his front teeth; a direct consequence of falling down the steep, rocky hill a few days ago.

 

“’Course I’m your frien’!!” Zell grinned, and then took hold of Seifer’s hands and pulled him to his feet before dragging him back to the house. But he didn’t run to the kitchen, where the other children were having supper with Matron. Instead he sped past, never letting go of Seifer’s hand, going straight for the room he shared with Squall and Quistis.

 

“What’re you doin’?” Seifer asked, as his hand was let go of, and Zell ran over to his bed and threw away the blankets and comforter. He dug around for a little while, then triumphantly showed Seifer what he had searched for.

“Taah!” he cheered, “I found it!!”  In his small hand was a cleaned-up, tousled teddybear half the size of himself. A teddybear with a brand new blue bow around his neck, and one of his eyes sewen back in place.

 

“Mr. Bear!” Seifer exclaimed in wonder, and confusion. Why would Zell be so eager to show him that old teddybear?

 

“Yeah. It’s Mr. Teddie!!” Zell proudly grinned at Seifer, and then took Mr. Teddie in his arms, while walking up to Seifer, who was still standing by the door. When he reached Seifer’s slightly taller form, he stopped and looked at him intently.

“I want you to have him, Seifer. Will you take care o’ him for me...?”

 

Seifer couldn’t help but worry, but he still felt glad. He felt special, that Zell hadn’t asked someone else. But he couldn’t help but wonder why Zell would want him to take Mr. Teddie, when he migh as well stay with Zell.  “....I don’t understand...why would you give him to me??? He’s your friend, not mine...”

 

Zell smiled, but not as happily as just moments before, and he said: “My frien's are your frien's, Seifer. And, besides, Mr. Teddie likes you. He didn’t want me to give him to anyone else.”

 

Seifer felt anxiety grow within; something was wrong with this picture. Zell shouldn’t be giving his Mr. Bear away!  “....you aren’t ...leavin’ are ya?” Seifer asked, fear starting to grip him as he looked at the boy standing in front of him. Zell frowned, and looked away, as he thought about what to say.

 

“...no.” his answer finally came, “I’m going on a trip to Balamb with Matron to see some frien’s o’ her... I think I’ll come back here after the day after the day after...” he humphed slightly, thinking hard as to how to say the things he wanted to say.  “I’ll be back two days after tomorrow.” he settled for being the best explanation, and handed his teddybear to Seifer, looking him straight in the eyes, “But if someone don’t take care o’ Mr. Teddie, he’ll be sad. And then he won’t be my friend anymore.” he pouted, “Please, Seifer?? Pwitty please?”

 

After staring at the teddybear for a while Seifer huffed, and then smiled:  “Ok. I will!” and then took the teddybear and held it tight, “You’ll be back here two days after tomorrow, huh? Promise?”

 

“Yeah!” Zell smiled, once again flashing his big grin, as he regained his hold of Seifer’s hand and hurried to the kitchen, where six other hungry children and a slightly impatient Matron waited for them.

 

“....Seifer.....?” a soft, warm voice called from someplace else, and Seifer immediately turned to the window, staring directly at the sun.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Seifer.... Seifer....” the voice called, eerily shallow, and the voice blinded him painfully. He looked around at the others sitting by the table, feeling a bit scared as none of them seemed to notice the creepy voice calling his name. Determined to see to whom the voice belonged, Seifer walked past the table and went up to the window, reaching up to look beyond the windowsill.

 

“Who’s dere?” he asked, trying to see something from behind the veil of light. Suddenly the veil disappeared, and with it went the wall separating him from the light. Before him stood a beautiful man, clad in a clean-cut, loose-fitting creamy white shirt and sandy brown slacks. Seifer noticed the man was wearing a weird pair of shoes, and frowned. He looked up to look at the beautiful face, trying to stretch his neck enough to see better.

 

To his relief, the tall man crouched down in front of him, smiling friendly, showing off a pair of small fangs. His bluer than blue eyes glimmered in the sunshine, and as he started to speak he reached his hand out to shake Seifer’s hand.

 

“Hi there, kid. Do you maybe know where I can find a certain person??” the young man smiled, releasing Seifer’s hand and rested his wrists on his knees.

 

“He’s taller than me, and he’s got gray eyes and short blond hair. Oh, and he may seem a little lost..... Or...wearing a black shirt and pants.....no shoes....”

 

The young man crouching before Seifer seemed confused, and he couldn’t help but frown himself.  “I’m sorry, mister, but I’m not supposed to talk to strangers...” he said, matter-of-factly, and waited for the man to reply, or take his leave, and let him be. But to his utter surprise, the young man started chuckling, as if he had just said something very funny.

 

“I tell you, kid, you have nothing to fear from me. I’m just looking for someone, and....well...” he said, looking the small boy into the eyes, not quite sure why they seemed so familiar, “It’s a bit hard to explain. But I really think I should be finding him here somewhere... No matter where the holy Sandman takes me, this guy I’m looking for always seem to pop up from out of nowhere...”

 

Seifer frowned, his small mouth turning into a pout; he was getting tired of the constant talking of this man.  “I still dunno, mister!”

 

“oh, well... Sorry to have bothered you. But thanks for the help anyway.” the young man smiled, his eyes glimmering in the nicest of ways as he stood up and started to walk away. Seifer kept looking at him, a frown still plastered to his small face. Just as he was about to turn away and return to the kitchen, he heard the blond man’s voice again.  “Oh.... I almost forgot.” he said, and Seifer turned around to pay him some attention, being told many times by Matron that it was the right thing to do,

 

“This guy I’m looking for... he has this big scar on his face. It goes from his right cheek and up to above his left eyebrow.”  Seifer shook his head, to show he still didn’t know of any such man. But after a silent moment, he felt a tugging at his mind, and he had to ask:

 

“What’s his name, mister?”

 

“Huh?” the man said, looking confused for a brief moment, “Oh! His name’s Seifer.”

 

“Huh???” Seifer gaped, not knowing what to say, “But, I’m Seifer!!!” he exclaimed, pointing at his chest. He saw the wonder flash across the older man’s face, and he didn’t know what to make of it. He looked stunned, and suddenly he went down on his knees, looking at the small boy scrutinizingly.

 

“....yes. Yes you are!” he grinned, his eyes sparkling with a lighter shade of blue, “Then...” the man said, “...this must be Matron’s old orphanage....”

 

Seifer wasn’t listening; he was getting more and more anxious to get away from the weird-looking man.

“I don’t have a scar on my face!!!” he shrieked, his hands plastering themselves to his forehead, as if to see he was right, and at the same time protect his face, “Please don’t hurt me!! ...I’m sorry mister, but I ain’t who yer looking for!!” he whimpered, backing away from the blond man, trying to get away. But he stumbled over a small rock, and he fell on his back. He could see how the man had got up from his crouched position, and was coming towards him. He fought to get up on his feet again, but before he had the time, his arms where caught and he was left helpless, staring into the clear, endless blue of the blond man’s eye’s. On the left side of his face was a huge black ornament, and Seifer found his eyes drawn to it; it looked just like the way Matron’s ink looked when she had just opened a newly purchased bottle and started writing her important letters.

 

“Don’t you recognize me Seifer? Don’t I look familiar?”

 

The young boy shook his head, glittering trails of tears running down his cheeks.  “Please don’t hurt me, mister! ...please....please....”

 

The eyes of the blond man softened so much more, that a pained look surfaced on his face.  “Seifer.. I don’t wish to hurt you!! I could never hurt you!”

 

“...then...why do you want to put a scar in my face!?” Seifer sobbed in between whimpers, “Why do you know who I am!!”

 

“’Cause I’m Zell! Seifer, it’s me, Zell!! Don’t you recognize me?? Seifer...”

 

“No!! No! Yer not Zell!! Zell’s my friend!!! He doesn’t look anythin’ like you!! Let go of me, let go!! Let me go!!!” Seifer shrieked, with all his might he struggled to get free from the steady hold of the tattooed man, and as if hit by a bolt, Zell let him go. It felt as if something so utterly dark passed through him, that he fell back onto the ground. It all had felt so strange, a whirlwind of dark thoughts, hidden plans and an eerily cruel pleasure swooshing right past and through his mind. As he looked up, he saw a tall man stand in front of the young Seifer; a man clad in only black, wearing no shoes, and curls of dark pink hair flowing down his back. Even though Zell couldn’t see this man’s face, he could almost feel the feral grin spreading across his face.

 

“No...” Seifer whimpered, his eyes dashing from the tall man to Zell lying on the grass and back again, “No...!” the small boy whimpered, and started to back away from the strange-looking man, the coldest look of horror written all over his small face, his eyes huge as saucers as he stared up at the stranger.

The man took a long step forward, immediately catching up to the small boy trying to escape him. Before Seifer had the chance to run away, the tall man had reached a slim hand out and caught him by the neck of his shirt, pulling him up face to face with him.

 

“Hey! Put him down!!” Zell called out, but the man didn’t pay the slightest attention to him. When he spoke, his voice oozed with the predatory grin on his face:  “....I told you I’d find you Seifer.... I told you we wouldn’t be away from each other for long, my sweet. You’re all mine, now... Nothing can break us apart any longer...”

 

Seifer was crying his heart out, calling out for Matron, begging for Zell to help him, struggling to make the intimidating man to let him go.

 

“No, no, no, no, nonononononoooo......” he whimpered, his cries increasing as the grin on the man’s face grew even wider.

 

“Leave him alone, you bastard!! Let him go!!!” Zell shouted at the man, building up quite some anger. No one had any right to treat a child, Seifer, like that!

 

The pink hair moved slightly in the wind, and the man turned around to look at him, his eerie dark eyes glowing, as the sun hid behind a heavy curtain of clouds. Before Zell had even the remotest chance of making a move, he was knocked back by an invisible force, so heavy on him, that he could have sworn every bone in his body had been broken.

There was a bright light, and then everything disappeared into oblivion.

 

                                                            ***

 

Zell awoke with a start, breathing heavily as if he had been running for several miles without a stop. He looked around in the room, lit up only by a few small rays of sunlight seeping in through the curtains. Only when he had calmed himself down, did he notice; Seifer was still asleep, whimpering and thrashing around in his bed, begging for mercy in incoherent sentences. Begging some unseen vision to stop, to leave him alone.

 

Zell got up from his place at the chair, putting the comforter aside, and walking up to the bed.  “Seifer?” he asked quietly, still feeling a bit fuzzy from sleeping. He sat down on the bed beside Seifer. Seeing that his face was wet with tears and sweat, he frowned, feeling worried, and yet intrusive on Seifer’s privacy. Tentatively he put a hand on Seifer’s shoulder, slightly jerking at it. That was all it took for Seifer to wake up with a startled cry, muffled by nothing. Instantly he lashed out at what he thought was the devil of his nightmares, but Zell caught his fist in his own.

 

“Seifer. It’s me. Zell...” he sighed, “Are you ok?”

 

“No. I’m not ok!” Seifer said, his voice trembling, and his whole body shaking. He snatched his hand back from Zell’s and scooted away from him and off the bed. He collected his clothes in a hurry and went into the small  bathroom and closed the door with a small bang, locking it securely behind himself.

Zell was left to ponder what he could have done differently to keep Seifer from acting like this. He hadn’t meant to offend him, or scare him in any way, but still it seemed as if that was exactly what he had done. He decided that he would somehow make up for it during the day that had already begun. After all, the main event of the Summer’s Festival was approaching. The night of the Summer’s Ball.

 

~~*~~

 

..to be continued in chapter five..... ^___^