--Alan <ChrOtaku@xoommail.com>--

Nega-Hell MSTing #3. Wacky crossover. Much confusion.

#############################################################
MSTing: The Search for Kotori, Part 1
A Pokemon/X (X-1999) crossover
An alternate-universe NASM MSTing
Original by Agent56
MST treatment by Alan
#############################################################

"Nevertheless, Zoisite," Malachite said, glaring down at his 
love, "What you did was excessively cruel and uncalled-for. 
Therefore, we must hurt you in the way you hurt me."

Her arms were folded across her chest. "Go ahead and try," 
she told Malachite and the others, "I dare you to do your 
worst. I can stand up to anything."

Malachite looked to Nephlite, who in turn looked to Jadeite. 
They all laughed as one.

(Uh-oh,) Zoisite thought.

Her beloved began the pronouncement. "Since you destroyed 
my precious Kiki," he said to her, "I will inflict a revenge 
on you that is more disgusting and degrading than any that 
the highest heavens might seek to inflict. You will be 
forced to watch--" and then he paused, to give her only a 
moment to reflect, "--the complete dubbed works of Urban 
Vision."

"N-no!" Zoisite shrieked, recoiling as she stepped backward, 
"Not 'Legend of the Crystals'!!"

His smile was just as large as Nephlite and Jadeite's 
sweatdrops. Malachite replied, "Yes. You will endure every 
plot twist, every panty shot. And after that... Twilight of 
the Dark Master! and... and... 'Vampire Hunter D'!"

By this point, Zoisite had already fallen to the floor. She 
wept for poor, poor, pitiful self.

"By the way," Nephlite whispered to Malachite, "Urban Vision 
didn't distribute 'Vampire Hunter D.'" He glanced at Jadeite, 
but the other general wasn't paying attention.

Malachite simply smiled again, then said, "I know."

***
Some time later...

Queen Beryl stepped into her throne room. Just like last 
time, one of her generals was in an odd state of mind. "This 
should be an interesting explanation," she muttered.

"It's just so... so... s-sad!!" Zoisite blurted. She blew 
into her handkerchief.

Malachite, ever the sneaky little dog, approached his 
superior. He told the queen, "Don't worry, Beryl. I just 
inflicted heaven's highest and holiest vengeance upon her. 
Things will be OK in a little while. Now... how are you 
feeling?" he asked, suddenly stiffening up.

She cast her small red eyes on his face. "I was a bit pleased 
that you made it through the previous offering. However, a
few of you complained. That does not please me," she said.

"Oh. Oh, dear," Jadeite whispered.

"Today I present you with a crossover... a crossover between 
two series which have nothing in common," Beryl continued, 
"The not-so-well-known end-of-the-world girl-oriented X 
manga series, and the infamous North American Pokemon. I 
hope your performance improves this time." With this last 
word, a barrier of ice formed around her throne.

Nephlite sat down on the floor. "What on earth do X and 
Pokemon have in common?" he asked the others.

Zoisite, between sniffles, looked up. She asked, "Um... maybe 
cuteness?"

"Yes. But of two vastly different kinds," Nephlite said, with 
a strong cough.

Suddenly, the answer came to Zoisite. She exclaimed, "Oh! Like 
CLAMP School Detectives!"

The others facefaulted at once.

"Anyway," Jadeite said a moment later, "We'd better get this 
done and over..."

--
[The generals shuffle in.]

>Title: 
>        The Search for Kotori Part 1
>Author: 
>        agent56
>Censor: 
>        G

JADEITE: Thanks a lot, G!
MALACHITE: No, not like that. Just be quiet.
NEPHLITE: If you're looking for sex, don't go looking 
for Kotori.

>Rating: 
>        8.00 Reviewed by 1 readers
>
>
>If anyone has any comments or questions on this story or 
>series please feel free to contact me at
>agent__56@hotmail.com NOTE:This happens before the X movie, 

ZOISITE: I think that means no-one's died yet.
MALACHITE: Manga Corps has been sitting on the movie for 
months. Just about *everything* happens before it...

>before Kamui leaves.
>============================================================
>========== X/Pokemon Crossover No.1 The Search for Kotori 
>Written by agent56 Part 1
>============================================================
>========== 
>
>"Kotori!!!...KOTORI!" 

JADEITE: Maybe they were wrong about the censor thing...
MALACHITE: Be quiet!
ZOISITE: I won't respond to that. I am mature.

>			Kamui ran swiftly through a field, 
>sweat on his face. He was worried. 

MALACHITE: [Kamui] I haven't killed you yet, have I?

>				    "Kotori where are you?" 
>
>Kamui runs by Ash and Pikachu who are 

NEPHLITE: --just waiting for a crossover to begin.
ZOISITE: Wait. Does Pokemon even happen in Japan?
NEPHLITE: Not as such.

>sitting on a fence at the sideof the field. 
>
>"Hey! Who are you looking for?" asked Ash. 

NEPHLITE: [Kamui] Where is Furinkan High School?

>
>"A girl. With blonde hair and blue eyes. A young girl." 

JADEITE: [singing] Young girl, get off of my mind!
MALACHITE: You're not helping, Jadeite.

>
>"Your sister???" 
>
>"Pika pika?"

ZOISITE: The travesty! What *have* they done to Kamui?!
JADEITE: He's been drained of his energy!
MALACHITE: ...
NEPHLITE: Pikachu's in character. At least that's there.

>
>"No, she is...a close friend. She has gone missing. Fuma 
>was in..." 
>
>"Whoa, hold on. Who's Fuma?" 

NEPHLITE: [deeply] FUMA... YOU ARE HIS...
MALACHITE: Very good.

>
>"Her brother." 
>
>"Okay. Continue." 
>
>"Fuma was in the kitchen, 

JADEITE: --cooking like it's 1999.
ZOISITE: Huh? What are you talking about?
JADEITE: It's called X/1999 in North America. I'm trying to 
be funny. Give me a break, OK?

>so was I. 

NEPHLITE: Since when do those guys cook?
MALACHITE: Since never. That would be awfully funny, though.
NEPHLITE: [booming] New from Viz Video... X/1999: Hard Battle!
ZOISITE: [irate] Leave my fiancee alone! Else it'll be the 
*end of the world*!

>We heard Kotori scream from the living room, when we ran in 
>to see what had happened she was gone." 
>
>"Oh dear. We must find her!" 

MALACHITE: [Ash] And rescue her from Kirin!
ZOISITE: [Kamui] Ash, how dare you use my head that way!
JADEITE: ...help me...

>
>"Pika!" 
>
>"You can not help me." 
>
>"Why not?" 
>
>"You're even younger than me." 

ZOISITE: Wait, wait. When is this taking place?
JADEITE: They said, "Before the X movie."
NEPHLITE: We don't even know what year it is...

>
>"I have lots of Pokemon that can help you fight if you get 
>in trouble. Trust me, I will be a great asset." 

ZOISITE: [Ash] As a POKEMON MASTER it is my duty to help 
Princess Hinoto!

>
>"Well, four eyes are better than two." 
>
>"PIKA!!! PIKA!!!" "Sorry little guy I meant to say six eyes." 

JADEITE: Sorry 'bout that, little buddy.
ZOISITE: Funny, is this 3*3 Eyes now?

>
>"So, what are we waiting for. Let's go find this Kotori 
>girl." 
>
>"Why do you need to find her so soon?" 
>
>"I have to tell her something." 

NEPHLITE: I'm impressed. The dialogue is 100% CLAMP.
ZOISITE: All we need now is blood and cherry blossoms.

>
>"Talk! That's all. That can wait." 
>
>"No! I must find her." 
>
>"What can be so important that you need to hunt someone down 
>to tell them something. What is it?" 

NEPHLITE: [Kamui] Oh, nothing, nothing... Just the *end* of 
the *world*...
MALACHITE: [Kamui] If the chick does not hatch out, it will 
die. We are the chick--
NEPHLITE: Stop that!
MALACHITE: Hey, I can't be serious all the time.

>
>"I have to tell her I'm leaving." 
>
>"What, leaving. Where? Why?" 
>
>"Where...I can not tell you. Why...I can not tell you." 

NEPHLITE: What did I say about the dialogue?
JADEITE: "100% CLAMP"?
NEPHLITE: Well, I was right.
ZOISITE: All we need now is... [pause] moKoNA!!
OTHERS: ...

>
>"Well can't you wait until she gets back." 

JADEITE: --question mark.

>
>"She might not be safe right now. Like I said we heard her 
>scream." 
>
>"Screaming, so what. She probably heard that there was a 
>half off sale at the mall, that's all." 

MALACHITE: Nah. She heard who Sorata *really* likes, that's 
all.

>
>"Listen, whatever your name is- 
>
>"Ash. Oh yeah...we didn't introduce ourselves. 

ZOISITE: Are you stupid, kid? He's about to kill you!

>						I'm Ash the 
>Pokemon trainer." 
>
>"Oh...Hi Ash. I'm Kamui, I- Wait a second, you're side 
>tracking. 

MALACHITE: [Kamui, irritated] Haruka-dear!
NEPHLITE: You didn't actually read "Sailormoon and the Holy 
Grail," did you?
MALACHITE: No. I preserved my sanity that way.

>	   Listen Ash, Kotori being missing is a big deal to
>me. And like I said, I MUST talk to her. So stop asking 
>questions. If you want to help start helping by looking for
>her." 
>
>"Sorry." 
>
>Kamui, Ash and Pikachu started to swiftly walk to the end 
>of the 

JADEITE: --world?

>	field, when they got to the end they saw 3 baby
>Kanagaskans glaring at them and grunting. 
>
>"Oh no!!!" shouted Ash. 

ZOISITE: Oh, he's one to talk. This must happen to him 
every day or two.
MALACHITE: Precisely. Meanwhile, Kamui's just looking at 
these creatures, wondering just which method he'll use to 
destroy them...

>
>"What is it? You aren't about to tell me that you're afraid 
>of these little creatures, are you?" 
>
>"Well its a little bit more than that. These are baby 
>Kangaskan's 

JADEITE: I mean, really. Who *doesn't* know what a Kangaskan 
is?

>	      and if they get mad and their parents come to
>find out what's the matter we'll be in big trouble." 
>
>"I'm not to worried but didn't you say you had a whole bunch 
>of Pokemon? Can't you just use them?" 
>
>"Well. I'm not too sure if I should because there will 
>probably be more Kangaskans so we better creep away quietly 
>and not disturb these babies." 

MALACHITE: And there you have it--the difference between X 
and Pokemon.
ZOISITE: What's that, dear?
MALACHITE: In Pokemon, violence is an option. In X, it's a 
necessity, even if you have been mildly insulted.
OTHERS: [applause]

>
>"Whatever." 
>
>As they walked by the calm looking baby Pokemon who sat 
>playing in the grass Kamui kicked one of them on the
>side by accident. The little baby looked up. 

NEPHLITE: [Kangaskan] I haven't acknowledged that you are 
the KAMUI yet...

>
>"Kanga-skan?" 
>
>"What?" 
>
>"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" 

MALACHITE: Run, it's C-ko!
ZOISITE: You people are so cruel... [sobs]

>They baby started screaming with all its might. Then as he 
>screamed all the other started to scream. Then far off to 
>the horizon they heard a distant rumble. 
>
>"What's that?" asked Kamui. 

NEPHLITE: [deeply] World-u... SHAKING!
JADEITE: Forget it. Just forget it.

>
>"That. That's the parents coming to see what's wrong. 
>
>"But I thought Pokemon were small, how could a few of them 
>make so much noise?" 

MALACHITE: Easy. Compare the initial hype given Pokemon, and 
compare it to Dragonball.
JADEITE: Dragonball?
MALACHITE: My point has been proven.

>
>"Kanagskan are one of the bigger Pokemon." 
>
>At least two dozen Kangaskan adults could be seen coming 
>from the distance with speed. 
>
>"PIKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pikachu started to run 

ZOISITE: --from the herd of exclamation points.

>						      as fast 
>as his little legs could take him. 
>
>"RUN!!!!" shouted Ash. The three bolted off to avoid the 
>paths of the angry parents. Slowly Pikachu started to fall
>behind but Kamui ducked down and scooped him in his arms. 
>
>"I got you little guy." 

JADEITE: [saucy] I got you babe...
MALACHITE: Did I mention that he is annoying?

>
>"Pika, pik-a." 
>
>The three were soon out of the paths of the roaring Pokemon, 
>but as they came to the road they were on it was
>blocked by a sleeping Kangaskan. Beside the road were walls 
>of stone, there was no way they could get by. 

ZOISITE: Not for long!
NEPHLITE: [Kamui] HUAAA!
ZOISITE: Kaboom. One blast works better than Ryoga.

>
>"I think we're going to have to go around the long way." 
>
>"NO. I must find Kotori, I do not know what could be 
>happening as we speak. Kotori is my main concern." 
>
>"Okay, whatever you say but I don't see any reason to get 
>past this obstacle." 

MALACHITE: Any *reason*? You mean that a herd of charging 
animals isn't good enough?

>
>"We climb over him." 
>
>"Huh? 

JADEITE: What he said.

>
>"Pika?" 
>
>"We can't do that it's impossible. He might wake up a bit 
>grouchy and gobble us up." 
>
>"But aren't you a Pokemon trainer?" 
>
>"Kamui, I can't catch anything anytime I want, I have to 
>fight him, and I'm not up to fighting and adult Pokemon."

MALACHITE: This kid is *so* out of place in the X universe.
ZOISITE: Very true, dear.

>
>"Well then we climb. You go first." 
>
>"GULP...Oh-Okay." 
>
>Ash and Pikachu started to climb on the shoulder of the 
>sleeping Pokemon, they shook about when he exhaled.
>After several moments of gentle climbing and balancing Ash 
>and Pikachu hopped to the other side. 

ZOISITE: Meanwhile, Kamui found his *own* way through.
NEPHLITE: You'd better be right.

>
>"Yes! We did it Pikachu!" 
>
>"Pika chu pika!" 
>
>"Your turn Kamui." 

JADEITE: [muffled] I'm still here!

>
>"Don't worry Ash. This is a piece of cake." 
>
>Kamui started his climb. Swiftly moving from one foot to 
>the other bouncing on up the sleeping Kanagaskan. But
>as he got to the top of the shoulder and was about to jump 
>the Pokemon started to stir. 
>
>"Don't move Kamui. Just don't do anything and within seconds 
>he'll drift back to sleep." 

MALACHITE: [Ash] Like Kotori does whenever you're around--

[Zoisite hits him over the head.]

>
>"Okay." For the first time Kamui sounded a slight bit 
>nervous. 
>
>But the stillness had no effect. The Pokemon's eyes began to 
>open, he then realized Kamui 

NEPHLITE: [Kangaskan] I acknowledge that you are the KAMUI...

>				and looked to the side. He 
>started to grunt, with one big fling Kamui was sent flying 
>into the dirt below. The Kangaskan then rose to charge at 
>the three. 

JADEITE: Yard line?

>
>TO BE CONTINUED...
>============================================================
>========== Did you like that?
>Well if you did then keep your eyes open for Part 2 of the 
>Search for Kotori. For the latest news on X, Pokemon
>and Evangelion check out http://www.geocities.com/
>SiliconValley/Campus/5956/anime.html 

ZOISITE: I dunno. This person doesn't sound like an Eva fan.
NEPHLITE: How would you know?
ZOISITE: Eva fans don't make clean jokes.

>
>Rate Story 
>
>

MALACHITE: Let's be leaving. Follow me, my love.
ZOISITE: Agreed!
NEPHLITE: Always remember... to use grammar check.

[They leave the theater.]

***
"I have a brilliant idea," Jadeite said.

Malachite gave him Glare #56 (Instant Death by Steamroller). 
"What is it now?" the easily annoyed general asked.

"Perhaps... for the N.A. release of the Sailor Moon movies," 
he began, as he scanned the faces of his peers, "They could 
be done in two different ways. The subtitled version might 
end up as-is and complete, maybe even with the honorifics in 
the subtitles."

At this, Zoisite coughed. She told him, "Oh, please. That's 
just an annoying thing that the over-the-top fanboys do. The 
better fansubbers, like VKLL, would never do that."

For a second, Jadeite considered this idea. Then he laughed. 

"There's nothing funny about it," Malachite said.

The scheming, dreaming, mildly nutty general added, "Well, in 
any event, there's one more idea I had. For the dubbed VHS 
version, Pioneer could try to find the NASM actors, and fit 
it in that continuity."

They thought about it. Then they thought about it some more. 

"Nah. Too goofy," Nephlite said, "Besides, the movies don't 
have my beloved Molly-chan."

"Even so," Jadeite mentioned, now that he was on a roll, "For 
the DVD release, both versions could fit on the same disc!"

From her secret control room, Queen Beryl looked at them. 
"That would be... rather amusing," she whispered.

--
IN CONCLUSION...

Another episode down the drain! If I haven't improved, 
please let me know... because that way, I can improve.

By the way, the closing segment was inspired by an article 
at Game Fan Online (gamefan.com). As of mid-September, it 
looks like things will actually turn out that way! (Take 
it as another attempt to please all the people all the 
time.)

-Alan (September 14, 1999)
e-mail: <ChrOtaku@xoommail.com> / <crf_riggsja@curf.edu>

Anime writings:            fanficoutlet>
<http://members.tripod.com/
Elfquest works:            eq_addiction>

"Sailor Moon," and everything associated with it, is
copyright 1992-7 Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, Kodansha Comics,
DiC, Buena Vista, Mixx, Pioneer, and others. The idea of
"Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyright 1989-99 Best
Brains, Inc. Feel free to distribute this fanfic/MSTing, but
please don't remove my name from it, and don't try to make
money off it.

>Kamui runs by Ash and Pikachu who are sitting on a fence at 
>the sideof the field.