Anime Fanfiction University
by Shaun Garin

Disclaimer : Urple is not mine. OFUM is not mine. AFU is. All anime isn't.
Glowrange is mine to do Glowrange Banditry. Gotta carry on the tradition,
eh?

As another reminder, quit using my review button to fill out the forms! Send
them all to my EMAIL! Thank you.

=============

Night came to The City, overcasting AFU in all it's spleandor. The gleaming
white towers shone brilliantly in the night sky, the stars twinkling
Glowrange (don't ask), and in the middle of it all, the students were
unaware of the lurking danger that was the evil half of the staff.

"This meeting of the Evilness Society will come to order."

"I want a burger with fries with that order!" called out a Digimon named
Pinnochimon.

"Shut up there!" Growled Frieza. "Lets get this meeting done all ready. Some
of us have busy schedules."

The shadowed person, presumptiously in the shadows cleared his throat. "As
we all know, the forces of good have all but taken over our jobs as evil
people. This simply will ot do. Vamde-Tree has gone over to their side along
with Vegeta and Crawford. It is time for us to take our place and run the
show with our own ambitions!"

"And how do you suppose we do that?" Kagato asked. "There are many of them
and only a handful of us."

"We will subjugate the staff by joining them, under the premise that we have
use for their jobs," the shadow said.

"Hmmm... tell us more," Dr. Gero said, leaning forward.

"It is simple. With their trust in us, they will never expect a chance of
betrayal! It is so simple!"

"We all have people we want to see ruined," Saffron remarked. "What makes
you think that we won't get in each others way?"

"I will see to that," the shadowy person said. "Meeting ajourned. Lets get
to our rooms before someone figures out we've been missing for the last few
days."

As the night continued its run, a few of the staff members on the side of
good sat around a table, looking through enrollment forms. Heero Yuy shook
his head. "Well, at least there are very few fangirls this year," he
remarked. "Many of them don't know what a Lust Object is."

"I should elaborate that for next year," Satoshi said, flipping through the
enrollment forms. "Check this out, Nirumon, a digimon hybrid human."

"Keep an eye on that one," warned Yamato. "Takuya would want a word with
those hybrids."

"This one too," said Sakura Kinomoto, NOT Avalon as she constantly insisted.
"At least some of them don't know what Mary Sue and Avatars are."

Everyone shuddered at the thought of the Mary Sue. "We'd need some of the
PPC to help us with the situation if a Mary Sue appears on campus." This
came from Sakura's familiar, Kero-chan who sat on the table, drinking tea.

"Evil in the most simplistic form," agreed Vegeta who flipped through the
forms.

"Gwahahaha! Die XBox!" A resounding smashing sound echoed in the staff
section as Shaun hung his head.

"Why did you even hire him?" Lina Inverse asked curiously. "You know he's a
psycho."

"I wouldn't go that far," Shaun replied. "But he's one of the more demented
staff members on campus."

"So said the man with Glowrange paint sitting next to him," snorted Seto
Kaiba. The staff chuckled.

"Hmmm.... someone put down Plot Device as their lust object? I definately
think we need to clarify the situation at hand." Tyson grumbled as he
flipped to another. "Oi, Heero, how's Duo coming along?"

"Sylphiel said he would be just fine in a few weeks," Heero said as he
sipped from his coffee mug. "All those fangirls rushing him en masse wasn't
good for his psyche."

"I'm glad I'm too young to have any lusters," Satoshi remarked.

"Well, you do have those horrible lemons written about you," Lina pointed
out. "I think everyone has experienced the horribleness known as the Lemon."

Everyone shuddered and bowed their heads for the death of sensible
charecterization and plot.

"Hey, you guys still awake?" Ranma Saotome walked in, dressed in a robe and
slippers. He was yawning and holding a plushie that was shaped like a panda.

Vegeta snarled angrily at the pigtailed martial artist. "You were sleeping
while we were paging you all night? Get to work, slacker!"

"I'm just the Martial Arts Professor, not a paperworker," Ranma defended
himself smugly as he plopped down next to Lina who gave him a death glare.

"A stupid one at that," Tyson remarked, fingering his beyblade and glaring
at him. "Why can't you take these lessons seriously?"

"Feh, not my fault that these guys are pathetic," Ranma said, waving it off.

"Thats it! You and me, right here, right now!" Vegeta had slid his chair
out, and was literally crackling with electricity.

"Bring it on!" Ranma exclaimed, throwing his robe off and stancing. His aura
flared into existance, a candle against an inferno next to the angry Saiyan.

Shaun cleared his throat softly, and muttered, "I'll dunk you both in Urple
and Glowrange if you two don't calm down."

The twin auras faded out of existance as the pair sat down, casting glares
at the professor who merely sipped at his apple cider.

Sakura yawned. "I don't know about all of you, but I have a class to teach
tommorow morning."

"Magical Girls 101?" Vincent asked Sakura who nodded.

"Yeah. Good night everyone." Yawning, Sakura headed out of the common room
for her nice warm bed.

One by one, the staff members filed to bed until Lina and Shaun sat,
finishing up the last of the paperwork. Stiffling a tremendous yawn, Lina
looked over at the MUSM graduate and asked, "So.... you ready for tommorow?"

"I don't feel ready at all," Shaun admitted. "Oh well. It's time to face the
music and see if we can make AFU a sucess."

Lina nodded. "Well, don't work yourself into the ground. It's only the first
week of the school term. But I'm beat. Night." Gathering up her cape, she
headed out, leaving him to his work.

===============

A resounding explosion rolled through the University as Zone snapped awake.
"Earthquake!"

"No it ain't," Leena, her roommate said, reaching for her alarm clock. "That
's my alarm."

Zone groaned and flopped back onto bed. "What time is it?"

"Twenty after seven o'clock," Leena said, pulling on a robe and grabbing a
towel. "I'm going for my shower."

Zone muttered something half coherant as the red head skipped out of the
room merrily. Fifteen minutes later, a resoundingly loud gong-like sound cut
into her sleep addled mind. Grumbling, she turned over. Another one, this
one closer, with the chipper call of "Get up, get up!" was heard.

A third gong sound resonated in her eardrums as a perky voice cried, "Get
up! NOW!"

Zone jerked out of bed, looking around wildly. "Who, what, where?"

"Amelia De Seyruun, and I am ringing a gong to get you all up." The response
came from a very short girl, about sixteen years of age, dressed in white
and pink in a most cute manner. She was also holding a tremendous sized gong
with one hand and a worn drumstick in the other.

"Now up people! First classes start today!"

Later that morning, during breakfast, Zone peered at her schedule. Magical
Girls 101, Canon 101, Fighting 101, Crossover 101, Duelist 101. Looking over
at Leena who looked a bit bleary, asked, "What did you sign up for?"

"Canon 101, Pet Monster Handling 101, Meddling With Giant Mechas 101, Swords
and Various Pointy Objects 101 and Duelist 101."

Zone pouted. "We're only going to be in two classes together."

Leena bolted down her coffee and let out a breath. "Well, I'm headed to
class. You have the Canon 101 book list?"

"You mean the book you need a forklift to carry? All You Need To Know About
Canon?"

"Yeah. Well, lets get to it, Canon 101 is first thing this morning."

The hallways were as usual, crowded with students. Entering the room, there
were quite a few people already there. Sitting down beside a boy, Zone
sighed and tried to heave her Canon 101 book on the table. "Need help?" he
asked.

"Sure." Together, the pair heaved the books onto the table. "Chris," he
introduced himself. "Just call me Ryu Izumi if you want."

"Zone." She looked at him. "What did YOU write?"

"Odyssey of Ryu amidst other things. You?"

"Sailor Moon meets the Horny Tentacled Beasts," Zone replied.

Chris, being in an anime styled world, actually sweatdropped. "Um, okay."

"Don't mind her," Leena said. "Leena. I wrote a Self Insert making myself a
Goddess in the AMG world and placed myself in the Leena of Chrono Cross."

"That seems serious," remarked a hedgehog that sat beside Chris. "Ashura
Hedgehog."

"I know you!" Leena gasped. "You wrote all those MSTs and the Sonic Muyo
series!"

Ashura grinned. "I'm glad someone reads my stuff."

Another guy who sat next to the pair looked at them. "Discussing fanfiction?
Kyle Evanick. I write for Diaries and a few other series."

Zone peered at him. "Most of your stuff is Author fanfic, right? I read PR
Hyperstrike. How's that coming along?"

Kyle nodded and shrugged. "Well, it's coming along. Hey," he said to another
girl who sat near them. "What did you write?"

"A few things here and there," she replied. "Misha."

"Hey, you're on the DR board, right?" Chris asked.

She nodded. "freakishAngelGal."

Just then, the professor strode into the room. It was Shaun, accompanied by
a small hunched over thing with long arms, horns, wings and looked like it
had rolled in lava. He was also carrying the biggest stick known to man.
Turning towards them, he sent a look that chilled everyone. "Okay people,
this is Canon 101. What we're here today for is maintaining the canon
continuity. This means that we deal with the original story, and everything
that comes with it. This," he said, holding out the huge stick, "Is the
Beating Stick of Canon. It's here to ensure the Canon stays normal. This,"
he said, gesturing to the thing that stood beside him, glaring at the
students, "Is Arragon, one of the Mini-Balrogs rom my days attending MUSM
and is the head guard for the staff section. Any questions so far?"

One hand went up, belonging to a girl that looked like a half dragon. "Is it
true that you painted Sauron's bum Urple while in MUSM?"

"Actually no, that was Merry and Pippin," Shaun said. "And that was during
the FIRST year. I didn't attend two years in Middle-earth. Now, if there are
no more questions, we will start today with timelines."

Reaching up, he hooked a huge rolling map with the end of the Beating Stick
of Canon and pulled it down, revealing several dozen timelines all mixed
together or seperated. "Now, we will start with the Dragonball Timeline.
Now, there are three documented eras in the Dragonball timeline, as we all
know. Dragonball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT."

"Boring!" Ashura called out. A second later, the Beating Stick of Canon came
down on his head as Shaun cleared his throat.

"Another outburst like that, Ashura and you will be dunked in Glowrange and
strung up on the Vamde-tree as a pinata for the Clones to play with." Shaun
warned. "Now, we'll start off with the names of the major charecters.
Gentlemen, if you will?"

Five men marched into the rooms, one after another. "Goku. G-o-k-u. No two u
's on the last part of the name," Goku said.

"Vegeta, not Vegita or even Veggie-chan." Vegeta looked like he was ready to
kill with that last name.

"But Veggie-chan is such a cute name!" gushed a girl from the far back. A
moment later, she was lying on her back, twitching from the Big Bang Attack
by one irate Prince.

"I WOULD NEVER LET MYSELF BE CALLED VEGGIE!" Vegeta raged. "Except by the
woman of course...." he added as an afterthought.

"Next?" Shaun asked, leaning on the staff as Vegeta cooled off a bit.

"Piccolo. I'm sure everyone can get that one right." Piccolo folded his
arms.

"Mirai Trunks." The elder future Trunks flipped his long hair back and
glared at them. "Better get that right or else."

"And lastly, it's Mr. Satan. I am NOT NAMED HERCULE!" Satan growled.
"Hercule is just the dub name for me, and it's stupid!"

Izumi leaned over to Ashura and muttered, "Hercule looks like a pansy. Wanna
try him out?"

"I heard that, Mr. Izumi," Shaun put in before Ashura could reply. "That's
strike one and a half. I think we need to see what an Super Saiyan Author
would be able to do against even Mr. Satan, a canon charecter. Gentlemen,
commence the beating."

Sounds of incredible violence could be heard in the background as Mr. Satan
and Mirai Trunks leapt into the fray. Goku and Vegita took about two seconds
before launching themselves into the free for all. Piccolo just stood by and
slipped Arragon a few slices of bacon. Chuckling to himself, Shaun cleared
his throat and called out, "Tommorow we tackle the names of Digimon
charecters and five more Dragonball Z charecters. Dismissed!"

Zone gathered up her books and winced as Mr. Satan actually left a broken
mass of bones. "Yeek. You need help there, Izumi?"

"I'll live," Izumi groaned from the floor. "Senzu...."

Misha grimaced at the broken form. "Hard to believe that Mr. Satan could do
something like that. I'll drag you to the infirmary."

Leena looked nervous. "I didn't realize that the staff would deliver out
random beatings."

"We're from a super powered series," Piccolo rumbled. "Go figure. Now scoot;
you have more classes to get to."