<html><head></head><body>Name: Kaze no Hoshi
E-mail: kazenohoshi@hotmail.com
Title: Five Seconds
Categories: Romance/Angst/Tragedy

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai and Sunrise. I'm just borrowing

the characters.

Five seconds, the difference between life and death. Five seconds.

That was all it took for one brilliant light in the universe to be snuffed

out. All because he was late. Five seconds too late to save her, to warn

her, to do anything. He shook back his hair and waited, for the crowd to

disperse, for the speeches and eulogies to be over, so he could mourn her
in
his own way. The overcast sky and cool ocean breeze only deepened his
dour
mood. At least she can see the beach from on top this hill. An image
of a
young woman laughing, running down to beach, invaded his mind. He
missed
her, much more than the mob of well-wishers and mourners ever would
imagine.

"If I even have the right to miss her," he whispered sullenly to

himself. He knew it was his fault, no matter what anyone else said to offer

some vestige of comfort. He saw the looks her closest friends gave him,

silently accusing him. He heard the murmurs and whispers that now preceded

his entrance to anyplace. He should have known, should have prevented it.

After all, wasnât that his job? To protect others? Whatâs the use, if
it
costs the one? The breeze stirred the trees, and whispered more doubts
and
shadows into his ear. With a sigh, he turned and walked away, trying
not to
look back.

âOni-san!â The shout of a young woman turned his head. A young girl,
no,
a woman now, with honey blond hair waved at him, her usual cheerful
demeanor
gone. Not surprising, he thought. She was my baby sisterâs friend
and
mentor for years. âOni-san,â the girl began again.

âHmmm?â he jerked himself out of the dark pool of memory and focused on
her
face. Blue eyes, darker than his own, but with the same steely ice,
glared
at him. For a moment he was disoriented, staring at his little
sister.
When had she developed the ice and lost the light? But sheâs
not a baby
anymore. Not after sheâs seen more battles and deaths than
anyone but a
Gundam pilot. Or me. He mourned that loss. One more thing
to add to his
list of destruction.

âHere, this is for you,â the young woman handed him a package, plain and

wrapped in brown paper. He took it gently from her, a wan smile tugging
at
his lips.

âWhatâs in it, Relena?â he asked; his voice cracked for he knew what the

parcel contained. How he could bear to have it, he would not know.

âI really donât know, Oni-san,â the girl replied hesitantly. âLady Une
only
said she would want you to have it.â She placed a light kiss on his
cheek,
turned, and walked away, back to her own life of politics. The
former
assassin who followed her shot him a look that would have frozen
his heart,
if it had not already shattered.

How ironic. Relena was wrong. She would not want her murderer knowing
her
private thoughts. He stood at the foot of the hill, like an alabaster

statue. The wind whipped his long blond hair into snarls and tangles as
he
watched the last of the crowd disperse and go back to their lives.
Making
sure that all left her grave, he turned slowly to face it. The
mound of
garlands and circlets seemed to insult her with their gaudiness
and
wastefulness. He knelt down and cleared them away without another
thought,
pushing them to the side. In their place he laid down twelve
perfect white
roses. Perfect, like my beautiful angel. He stood up and
snapped to
attention with military precision. The light of the setting
sun dyed his
golden hair a blood red as he saluted the grave of his closest
friend and
only love. A single tear, the only emotion he showed all day,
sparkled in
the last light of the day, and splashed on a white petal.
He blinked once,
and left without a word. The package felt heavy in his
greatcoat pocket and
in what remained of his heart.
***

His apartment seemed colder and lonelier than ever when he returned home

late at night. Clothing and other items lay strewn around the room as if

the owner no longer cared about life. Despite the clutter, it still felt

empty. A faint scent of lilacs and cinnamon lingered over the room, filling

him with memories. Was it only last week that they had dinner here? So

much changed in so short a time. Shaking his head, he slowly headed toward

the bedroom. A small frame on the bookshelf caught his eye.

It was a simple frame, bare of ornaments and elaborate carvings. What
made
it worth more than any other possession was the woman in the picture.
Clad
in a midnight blue gown, the young woman in the picture carried a
bouquet of
dark red roses and smiled radiantly. Dark bangs fell over her
face, lending
her an air of mystery. Her dark blue eyes, almost lavender,
seemed to look
into his heart. He touched the worn frame gently, lovingly.

âNoin, I have failed you,â he whispered into the darkness. âI should have

been the one who died. Not you. You were too innocent, too pure. Iâve

failed you.â

No one answered him. He was truly alone in this bleak unforgiving world.

He stumbled blindly into his bedroom, heedless of the furniture in his path.

At least once, he tripped over something, but he no longer cared, about

life, about anything. The only person he ever gave his heart to now lay

dead by his hand. What did he have left?

He collapsed onto his cold and lonely bed. On his nightstand sat a simple

note, one he usually never paid attention to.

Zechs,
I love you forever.

Noin

With great care, he removed the package from his pocket and placed it next

to the note. How could she ever cared for him? Silent tears streamed down

his face. Why had the gods punished her for his sins? If there was anyone

who deserved death, it would be him. With a sigh, he turned to the sweet

oblivion of sleep, praying his ghosts would not haunt him there.

***

He ran down the corridors; his gun firing. Their mission was to destroy

the rebel base. If all went well, Noin and her team would be ready to enter

the main control rooms. At a prearranged signal, his force would with hers

for the final attack. It was straight forward and simple. Nothing could
go
wrong. He fired into the hall again and ducked behind a corner for
cover.

âFire, this is Wind. Corridor 47A is secure.â
âCopy Wind. Weâre approaching point Delta now. Iâll be in the control

room in three minutes. Fire out.â

He nodded to his team, and motioned for them to move on. As group leader,

he would watch their backs and provide cover fire. Time was of the essence.

His team had to be in place the same time as Noinâs in order to insure the

complete control of the command center. They were already late approaching

point Delta. Zechs shuddered as he imagined the consequences of his
actions.

Somehow, they battled through the corridors. The stench of blood and

burned flesh nearly overwhelmed him as he surveyed the carnage left by the

attack team. The walls dripped with blood, hiding some of the burn marks.

The charred corpses could barely be recognized as human. I thought I had

left the horrors of war behind. How wrong I was. He glanced as his
chronometer.
Damn. Thereâs not much time left.

âWind, come in.â
âWind here. Fire, are you in position?â
âCopy Wind. Where the hell are you?â
âCorridor 52B.â
âGet ready, Wind.â He gestured to his team. âAttack on my mark.â
Seconds ticked by as they waited. âMARK!â
His team burst into action, joining up with Noinâs just as the command

centerâs doors blasted open. He caught her eyes and nodded. She smiled

back. This mission was almost over, almost time to go home.

Five minutes later, it was over. The last of the rebels surrendered to
the
Preventer Forces. He anguished over the loss of life, but they had
done all
they could to resolve it peacefully. He felt a light touch on
his arm and
glanced over. Noin leaned on him, a smile hovering around
her mouth. âIâm
just glad itâs over,â she whispered. He murmured his
agreement as they
walked toward the shuttle bay, arm in arm.

Somethingâs wrong. Why do I think this place isnât secure yet? He looked

ahead. Noin smiled at him, calling him to hurry up or Sally will leave

without him. He shook his head. Why canât I shake this feeling of doom?

Carefully, he surveyed the boat bay. Everything seemed to be normal.

Still, as a precaution, he had drawn his gun. His oversensitive senses

picked up a slight sound that shouldnât be there. The sound of a manâs

footsteps on the walkway above. His mind raced at the implications even
as
he reached for his gun. Why had no one else seen? Only then did he
realize
he was already too late. Time moved in slow motion as the man
pressed the
trigger.

âDear God! NOIN! GET DO...â He was interrupted by three shots. âNOIN!â

His body acted even as his mind froze at the sight. She lay crumpled on
the
floor; her blood staining her uniform a deep red. A single shot rang
out in
reply. The assassin fell back as the bullet smashed through his
skull.
He was at her side without realizing how he got there. Sally was there,

trying to stop the blood streaming from her chest and to get a steady pulse.

He held her hand gently, not wanting to hurt her more.
âCâmon, Lucretzia, love, stay with me. Just hold on,â he pleaded, all the

while praying this was a nightmare. He canât lose her, just canât. She
was
the only one who ever loved him, or cared for him, even in his darkest
hour.
God, why did it have to be her? Couldnât you have taken me instead?
Her
hand felt cold, like the chill of death had already settled upon her.
âZechs?â her voice was no more than a whisper. He bent his head over hers
.
âLuc, youâll be fine.â He wasnât sure how much longer he could control
the
trembling in his words.
âZechs, I love you...â She closed her eyes. Sally looked up and shook
her
head. He gathered her close, holding her body. How long he sat there,

rocking her, he did not know. This couldnât be happening. Someone loosed

his hold on her body. He looked up through platinum bangs. âNo, no. This

canât be real. Sheâs not gone.â

****

âNOOO!â His scream echoed in the empty room. He sat up, half tangled in

sweaty sheets; his heart pounding wildly. How many times had he dreamt

this? Each time, he would look beside him, praying she was still at his

side. Each time, heâd wake only to know his nightmare was no illusion but

reality. He would never hear her voice, so lively and vibrant, again, never

kiss her or hold her again, and never tell her he loved her, with all his

heart.

A beam of silver moonlight broke through the clouds, landing directly on
the
package beside him. With trembling hands, he picked it up. How can
I bare
to open this? The light seemed to follow the wrapped parcel for
it was
still rimmed in silver. His clumsy fingers fumbled with the cotton
string
and brown paper. An eternity later, a simple book lay in his hands.
The
soft midnight blue velvet cover bore only one word, printed in gold
letters
âJOURNAL.â Beneath it shimmered a bouquet of gold roses. My insticts
were
right after all. Not that itâs of any use now. He traced the letters
with
his finger; it felt soft and sleek compared to his rough bloodstained
hands.
He could no longer sleep or stay indoors. The moon, now fully
emerged
from the clouds beckoned him to go, to follow her path.

He set down the book and pushed himself out of bed. Leaning down, he picked

up the first jacket he could find. She would be lecturing me about the

value of neatness about now. I care not for it anymore. It was wrinkled

and rumpled as the rest of his clothes. He shrugged it on and place her

journal in its pocket. Somehow, it wouldnât fit. Strange. He reached
in,
trying to find the obstacle and succeeded in unearthing a tiny black
box. I
meant to give this to her when we were on the shuttle. Too late,
she will
never know. How could I have been so blind and not told her earlier.

Inside the box, nestled in a small silk pillow, sat his motherâs wedding

ring. He bit off a curse at his own stupidity as he jammed both book and

box back in various pockets and headed out the door.

*****
The ocean breeze swirled around him, blowing the worst of his haunted

dreams away. He eased himself down by the large granite boulders close
to
the edgw of the cliff. It would be a painful death if he fell, but
he
deserved no less. With a sigh, he leaned back against the stone. When
dawn
came, Zechs Merquis would be no more. He took out the book. The
moonlight
focused on it, making the gold letters glow with an inner light.
Carefully,
he opened the cover and began reading.

****

The first entries was written in by the hand.of a young girl.
September 1, AC 189

So this is Victoria Academy. Iâve only been here a week, but it feels a
lot
longer. I thought cadets would be much better behaved than the gangs,
but
seems like I was wrong. All of them are nothing but a bunch of stuck
up
pigs. I have just as much right as anyone else to be here. Gutter
Snipe
indeed. Iâll show them. Iâll be one of the best when I graduate.
Thatâll
show them that a street girl is just as smart (most likely smarter)
than
they are.
I wonder how the gangâs doing right now. Hope that Michi can get some
help
from the church or something to keep everyone safe.
Maybe not all of the students here are pampered brats. That blond boy
with
ice blue eyes seems to be a decent guy. So far, heâs the only one
who
hasnât teased me. That should count for something. We have all the
same
classes, but I never caught his name. I wonder if weâll ever be friends.

He seems so nice (and cute), so unlike the others. I wonder why heâs so

quiet all the time. I think I heard somewhere that heâs a prince. Given

his behavior, thatâs highly likely.

He sat back, stunned. The others had all teased the new girl. He didnât

quiet remember why he never joined in, though they all pressured him to.

Every time he caught her eyes, he realized he just couldnât hurt her. He

was driven by some unknown force to protect her, to be her friend. Zechs

flipped the pages slowly.

April 11, AC 190

This yearâs almost over. It actually went a lot better than I originally

suspected, but i bet that due to one Zechs Merquise. I never expected to

become friends with him, but I suppose it all started with that slight

accident in PE. I swear, I never meant to kick the ball that hard. Even

more to the point, I never thought Iâd hit HIM with the ball that hard.
It
was the finals for the school soccer championship, and I had just the
right
angle to steal the ball. For some odd reason, I used to be really
nervous
around him. I suppose it was just a crush. After that game, i
felt
comfortable around him and we began hanging out together.

He grimaced slightly. How could he ever forget that soccer game. He was

just getting ready to score the winning goal when a dark haired girl kicked

the ball first. One moment, he was standing, the next, he had fallen to
his
knees, wincing in pain. All the while, the girl bent over him, apologizing

profusely for her action. Somehow, he managed to smile at her, and that

smile started their whole relationship.

After that, we just did everything together. I mean, we complement each

other perfectly. All the girls are jealous because they think weâre going

out, but weâre just good friends. In fact, Zechs is more like a brother
to
me than a boyfriend. Besides, weâre only 12, (Well, he turn thirteen
in
four days) and I want to study more before I seriously think about boys.

He flipped a few more pages. The handwriting was the elegant script he
was
used to.

November 1, AC 191

Last night was certainly interesting. Of all things, I never realized
we
were going to duel on Halloween. Of course, a lot of people expected
it.
After all, weâre the top two ranked students at VA. Thank God the

instructers werenât there to see the two of us act like a pair of immature

kids, the way we were taunting each other.
In truth, he started it. If he hadnât dressed as a knight (in full armor

and weapons), I would have never been tempted to challenge him. We had
been
fencing partners for the past six months, so we know each otherâs
moves
pretty well. I surprised him by choosing to use a staff no doubt.
The
thing is, I used a staff as a weapon when I lived on the streets so
Iâm
quite proficent with it. I think someone took pictures of our impromtu

match. I have to go hunt them down âcause I want a memento of last night.
Well, I got in a few good blows before deciding to let him save face and

win. What really surprised me was that he removed his helmet, and came

over. God he has gorgeous eyes. Strange I never noticed it before but
itâs
true. And then he kissed me. In front of everyone. To top it off,
he
called me his lady. I was so ready to melt. He sure knows how to treat
a
girl.

He smiled. How could he ever forget. That night, he had expected her to

dress as a princess or some other very feminine costume. She dressed up
as
Robin Hood, complete with bow and staff. And then, she challenged him
to
face her in a duel. How could he resist? All he focused on were those

laughing dark eyes. She let him win. He had suspected it then, but now
his
suspicions were confirmed. How many other times did she let him save
face
or win?
Even more, he could never forget that kiss. She tasted of a sweet cinnamon,

and warmed is frozen heart. Now she was gone, and his heart was again a

block of ice.
A slip of paper peaked out from one of the pages. He immediately flipped

to it. What he thought was a scrap was in actuality a picture, taken at
the
gradutation dance. Tears welled up in his eyes again as he remembered
that
night. Against all common sense, he began to read.

February 19, AC 192

Damn Commander Treize! He just had to add in the last qualification on
the
frigginâ invitation, didnât he. âOZ officers must show they can interact

with others by bringing an escort.â How on earth can I find someone to
take
me when the dance is tomorrow? The guys just think of me as one of
them,
not as a girl to date thanks to the fact that I donât wear skirts
or makeup
often. Iâm lost. Maybe, just maybe, Zechs doesnât have a date
yet. Keep
dreaming girl. You know how many other girls drool over him.
Still, Iâll
ask him.

***

âZechs?â
âSpeaking. Hi Noin. I was just about to call you.â
âUmm, I was wondering...â
âNoin, do you have a date for tomorrow?â
âNo...â
âWould you go with me, please. I would have asked you sooner but I thought

you were taken.â
âOf course. Iâd love to go with you, Zechs.â
âThank you, Lucretzia. Iâll cherish you forever.â

***

What foolish promises youths make. He shut his eyes to stop the flow of

tears. I said Iâd cherish her, yet I stilled failed to save her. The first

rays of dawn streched across the horizon. Itâs time. He rose slowly to

face the rising sun. The golden letters on the cover were dyed a blood
red
by the early light. He raised the book, and gently kissed the front.
Luc,
I shouldnât have let you go into the dark alone, but Iâm coming now.
He
tossed the book to the side, and began his final steps. One more step,
and
Iâll be with you. Just one more.

âZechs!â He turned sharply. Heâd know that voice anywhere. Yet it
couldnât
be her. She was gone forever. He forced himself to look up, to
the source
of the voice. She stood in front of him, clad in white gossamer
and silk.
Soft ebony bangs hid half her face. Her deep blue eyes were full
of boundless
love.

âNoin.â It came out as a half choked whisper. âNoin.â All words deserted

him as he tried to comprehend the glowing figure.

She placed a hand on his arm. âZechs Merquise, my prince, my knight, donât

do this.â

âNoin, with you gone, I have nothing to live for. I failed you, and I donât

deserve your love.â He wept openly; a lifetime of pain and grief colored

his voice.

âYouâre wrong, Zechs. I wonât let you throw your life away.â Itâs so like

her, always caring, always kind. He refused to meet her eyes. âI know
you
love me enough to die for me, but do you love me enough to live, even
if Iâm
gone?â

He opened his mouth to answer, but something entirely different came out.

âNoin,â he blurted, âI was a fool not to give you this before, but would
you
accept this token of my love for you even now?â Somehow, the little
black
box apperear in his hand, but he had no memory of ever getting it
out. The
sun had almost fully emerged from the ocean, bathing everything
in a shower
of gold. She faded as the rays of sun touched her.

âI love you forever, Zechs, and Iâll be waiting for you.â She looks gorgeous

when she smiles like that. He wasnât sure how much of a grip he had on
his
sanity now. âItâs not your time yet.â For the final time, he met
her eyes.
A phantom hand brushed back his platinum bangs. He felt a
faint kiss on
his lips. The air around him smelled of lilac and cinnamon.
âI love you
too, Noin, from here to eternity.â A brilliant flash of light
blinded him.

When he could see again, she was gone. This time, forever. Yet this time

it didnât hurt as much. He shook his head, wondering if the past minutes

had been the product of a dream or hallucination. No, someone stopped me

from jumping. He turned to face the sunrize he thought he would never see.

Out of curiosity, he took out the box from his pocket and opened it. The

ring was gone. He smiled. If he was willing to die for her, he was damned

willing to live.

*****

Zechs Merquise returned to his appartment with a sigh. Had it been twenty

five years since her death? It stilled seemed like yesterday. He just

returned from leaving a dozen white roses at her grave like he did every

year. And like every other year, he had to choke back countless tears while

he spoke to her about life. Relena was now a grandmother, peace was a

permanant fixture on earth and the colonies, and most of all, he still

missed her.

He was so tired now. The burdens of being the Minister of Defense rested

heavily on his shoulders. It would be good to go to sleep. He stumbled

into his bed and sank into a deep sleep without dreams.

***

She looked as radiant as ever. âZechs, itâs been twenty four years and
359
days.â
âI know, Noin. Thank you for waiting like youâve always done.â Her
laughter
sounded like silver bells. The silver ring on her left hand
sparkled with
an inner fire. He bent down and kissed her. âThis time, Iâm
never letting
you go.â
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