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Fujimi High School (4) |
Continuing from where we left off last time, we're talking about dreams for the future. Murayama Aoi said she was affected by Evangelion and thus wanted to go into movie work. Anno apologized(!) for having set her off, and started talking about his view of the business. Everyone got involved, as they all wanted to know the source of his passion.
Q. What do the rest of you want to do in the future?
Murayama: I'd like to work with film and video. I was really impressed by Evangelion, and it's gotten me interested in anime and stuff like that lately.
Anno: I apologize for getting you all worked up. You'd best stay away from it.
All: (laughter).
Murayama: I'm going to an art cram school, as well as practicing for the exams to film and video departments at art colleges. I've never studied anything that was so much fun. I'm enjoying it because it's what I want to do right now.
Anno: It's no big deal.
Murayama: It looks incredible from where I'm sitting.
Anno: I can't really be all that proud of my own work.
Murayama: Is that so? I think it's terrific.
Anno: It doesn't matter whether one does this kind of work or not, so you're better off not doing it.
Murayama: I think it's great to be doing what you want.
Anno: You've got it all wrong. This is the only thing I can do. Getting married, having kids, and raising them to be adults--that's far and away more of an accomplishment than making a movie. And the biggest accomplishment of all is to do all of that and make anime at the same time. In my case, I've managed to get this far because I gave up everything else. I don't see any need for anyone else to sacrifice everything else in life for this, though.
All: (laughter)
"What Matters Is When You Come Back to Reality"
Anno: But if you like it, who cares? You need to like this sort of thing a certain amount to be able to do it. And once you've given it up, you'll be OK.
Takahashi: Once you've given it up?
Anno: Right. The instant you wake up to reality again. When you realize that enjoyment alone won't see you through.
Shibasaki: You mean, you give it up, but even then, you still keep doing it?
Anno: Well, that's where you find out what you're really made of. To some extent, anyone can each a certain level of achievement if they try. Whether they can go beyond that point depends on the given indivdual. Going beyond that point requires quality. Hard work alone won't do it. And there will always be someone better than you. If you get carried away by how good you are, what do you suppose will happen when you discover that there are far better people in the world already?
Shibasaki: You could say that about just about anything.
Anno: I think Miyazaki Hayao is a natural-born genius. But I'd love to beat him at something, somewhere.
Shibasaki: Is that what keeps you working at it?
Anno: No, I'm sorry, but it just worked out that way. That's why I'm not all that attached to the idea.
Shibasaki: Is working on one thing so totally, a form of self-improvement?
Anno: It doesn't fall into the self-improvement or hard work category.
Shibasaki: Is it something sensual?
Anno: Right. A sense of wishing that things could be more interesting, I suppose.
Shibasaki: So it's not a question of just making the effort?
Anno: It's basically a matter of not thinking that good enough is good enough.
Shibasaki: Do everything that you can?
Anno: Right. Do it now, if you can do it at all.
Shibasaki: Whatever it is you're doing?
Anno: Exactly. I put my work ahead of everything, which makes me cold. I sacrifice people, including myself. Going that far is like being prepared to die.
Shibasaki: I'd like to be able to work at something like that.
Anno: If you give yourself over to something like that, then it's worth doing. That's why I like it. It's really rough, but I don't think about it much. Conversely, I couldn't dedicate myself to being a salaryman.
Shibasaki: You couldn't get impassioned about being a salaryman?
Anno: I'd much rather put a production together.
"If You Have Something to Be Passionate About"
Shibasaki: I hope I can find something like that.
Anno: Yeah. And I think that would be fine. I think it would be great if I were to love such-and-such a woman all my life too. I'm not denying any of that. I also think, therefore, that it's fine to put one's passion into raising one's child into adulthood. And thus I think that it's all right if a woman wants to be a full-time homemaker.
Shibasaki: Hmm. I see your point.
(From the Sept. 3, 1998 edition of Mainichi Intermediate-School News)
