Utena returns to Not-Ops herself, yawning a little and rubbing at the back of her neck... but smiling faintly. She recognized something of herself in that fierce young woman she met in Darra... shakes her head. She was like that.. now she's like this. She strides through the barrier... grumbling about the transformation thing... and tolerates through another rather embarrassing one, currently wearing something like a white bodysuit with a dark blue skirt, and ankle boots and wristlength gloves.. still has a sword, but it's jewelencrusted.. this BOW across her chest though... -.- She vows again to make Urd PAY for this. It's quiet, at Not-Ops. Bugger's ever vigilantly on guard... snoring. Inside, likely, Ada and Seeker sleep.. odd, how Ada's been sleeping so much. She's healed. Xelloss isn't anywhere immediately obvious.. but there are some noises in the backyard. Utena hms. It's not LIKELY he'd be back there, he's not the type... but she wanders around back to check it out anyway, in case it is. The ring he gave her is a subtle but comforting weight. She strides around the side of the house, peering about. "Hey, Xel? That you..?" No... it's Anything-chan, actually. She's in the enclosed garden, smiling and enjoying the flowers.. the tire swing on the first tree drifts lazily, she must have been playing on it. A second tree sits, dead from winter. Utena ohs! and approaches the greenhouse, opening the glass door to approach the child... that second tree.. she pauses a second and looks at it. There wasn't a second tree... A momentary frown plays along her face. She calls to Anything, "Hi, kiddo..! Be right back, I just want to look at something..!" Anything-chan looks up, and smiles.. she plucks a rose with her good hand, and scurries out. "Here, Utena! A gift!" and offers it to you. ^_^ The second tree is dead. Lifeless branches, dried and brittle.. in a small divet in the ground. Utena giggles. "Thanks..!" She reaches out and ruffles Anything's hair, distracted from the tree for a moment; she kneels and hugs the little girl. "Are you feeling better...?" Anything-chan smiles. "A lot. I played a bit and cheered myself up." Looks at her arm.. "But it still hurts if I move it." Utena nods. "Remind me about that again when I see Xelloss- I'll make him heal you." She hms, and asks Anything quietly, "That tree.. the dead one. I don't remember it being there.. do you know anything about it..?" Anything-chan looks up at it. Shivers. "I don't like it. So I stayed away from it." The branches rustle a bit, in a light breeze. Utena says, "I don't like it either.. I don't think it should be there. Hon, I want you to go on back into the house, okay? And find Xelloss if you can, too. Right now, I'm going to look at that tree." Anything-chan nods. She turns to go -- and in a lightning fast motion, one of the branches whips out, and grabs her by the neck. She screams, as it lifts her into the air.. Utena stares, but just for a moment.. the next, she's got her sword out, and is racing at the tree... "Let her GO....!" The tree moves fast -- it knows it's too brittle to fight you. Instead... it sucks into the ground like a groundhog into a hole, sloooop-- completely, pulling Anything-chan with it. Leaving only a dark, dark hole, from which her cries echo. Utena says, "GodDAMN it. You should be DEAD!" She snarls, and leaps down into the hole.. recognizing its motif now... going back in to chase the child, a shiver moving down her spine... She closes her eyes and shuts her mouth.. expecting to feel earth closing around her.. It closes.. but it's more consistent. Dirt. Topsoil, thick and true, top to bottom; no rocks, no pebbles, no inconsistencies. You're sucked through the earth, for a seemingly endless time.. until you arrive. But things are different. The castle of thorns in the distance is present, but it seems more like an intricate wire mesh, not a tangle of thorns. The vines you walk on are laid out in a perfect grid. Utena gasps for her breath, recovering when she falls into the grid of vines... Looking around, getting her bearing again... but this isn't possible.. then again... neither was Nightmare. And she spent a good part of last night fighting him... She glowers, and looks at the eerily neat and precise layout of the vines... then shrugs it off, and starts to run to the castle. Nobody's going to get away with hurting poor Anything any more... A figure rises from the dirt, in front of you, as you run up to it.. the ashen woman. The Bride of Thorns. Eyes closed, her body less consistent, more crumbling.. but posture passive, standing upright. Not seeming to react to you. Utena jerks back in fright... and in anger, too. Doubly so, as this represents a deeper threat now... the threat of what she was as opposed to what she is. The ring that sits on her finger is her life now. This is her past. She screeches to a halt and glares, waiting to see what this creature will do. The figure opens her eyes. It's just like Nightmare was, initially.. monotonic, controlled. "I offer you a deal," she says. "I will let the girl go free. My new master, who gave me life after.." almost a frown. "I will spare all your friends. But only if you stay with me." Utena shakes her head. "No deal. I'll free her without submitting to you. I don't HAVE to any more. You're not the one I love. Release her!" To make those words true, Utena begins to move forward again. The Thorn Bride continues to speak. "You can't get to her before I kill her. Do not be stupid." She approaches you.. arms wide. "Come to me. Let me soak you in pleasure once more. I worked so hard to take you back. You were so happy with me.. you remember." Utena snarls softly. "I won't let you touch me again." She leaps forward, sword moving toward your throat. "Let Anything go." The Bride.. catches the sword, in one hand. Her hand shakes, gripping the blade.. some dust shaking off it. Now.. now she's showing more emotion. "It wasn't fair. Why should SHE be happy, while I suffer in lonliness? And you.. you ABANDONED her. I will have you. Order promised you to me. You're the one he wants." "I don't belong to EITHER of you!" Utena struggles to free her sword, but your grip is strong, and she may not be able to. Her wings appear, flaring, bright and angry jewels of delicate chaotic light... blue eyes narrowing, as she glares at you in hate of you. She almost buckles, under that light.. but does what Nightmare did, when you took advantage. She relies on her chaos, shakes out of Order's leash. The vines around you start to deform, out of their grid pattern. "You.. have... no idea, how lonely death is . How lonely life is. I need you to be complete, or I suffer beyond my limits. It hurt to be burned.." she mmmms, as if in pleasure. "...but it hurt more to be alone." Her sword-holding hand shakes.. the blade starting to push through her 'skin'. Utena jerks her head to the side, as she hears the thicket of vines starting to move and crack.. realizes. Chaos effect.. emotions... she has to feed that... "... I know how lonely it can be. But you can't HAVE me. I won't let you have me. What are you going to do about it? How does it make you feel? YOU CAN'T HAVE ME!" The Bride shudders... "I HAVE to! That's why I exist! It's the only thing I can do!" The blade starts to cut through her fingers.. and she doesn't notice. "Even when dead I yearn for you! Order is giving me my only chance to ever be happy, and I won't give up--" and the blade slices through her hand, the ashlike fingers crumbling to dust. She moans, and leans back.. She swallows, wings agitated, facing you with angry eyes. Holding to the sword, waiting.. waiting for the moment.. seizes it... attempts to stab forward... to end this... sweat on her brow as the thicket comes to life in snarls and tangles around her, breaking out of its containment which makes it much more dangerous... The sword strikes true.. straight through her heart, jamming out her back. The ashen woman screams in pleasure, thrashing her head, arms twitching.. sap dripping out of the wound. ...then, she looks at you, smiling. "..I knew you'd understand.." and then the thicket strikes, thorns digging into your skin. Feeding your pleasure and pain. Utena groans, her hand slipping off the sword hilt when they strike her.. AGAIN. Burying into her flesh, craving and needing, pulling her down with them, poisoning her, making her WANT and NEED and... oh god, no, please, not again... I don't want to be this thing, I'm NOT this thing... the ring's weight on her finger... I don't love you, I don't love you, I DON'T LOVE YOU ANY MORE!!- struggling, tears in her eyes... More thorns jam themselves into you.. blurring your vision from the senses, as they wrap and entrap you. Pleasure. Unbearable pleasure. Orgasmic pleasure, constantly.. and pain. Sweet, horrible pain.. and the ashen woman's sigh of relief. Yes. Yes, this is right. Now I am complete. Please.. please don't resist me. (pleading? from her?) Order will punish me if I fail.. I will never be content if I fail. Utena moans, lolling back, enveloped in the thorns again, razors in her neck, punching through her... pleasure and pain, lust and resistance and... strobing all together.. like a spiraling glowing column... she can barely resist, she couldn't resist at all the first time... sobbing, crying out in her mind, what's left of it to her... Xelloss, help me, I can't stop her... and too much pleasure to think clearly about anything but having this for the rest of her life and after she dies and forever... but her wings.. she can feel them on her back, the thorns are in them too.. but they're burning.. she's burning.. oh, god... don't stop this, it feel so damn good and and it FEELS GOOD and oh my god I can USE this give me MORE MORE of it more emotions don't you see we can break free! ...the thorn pump you faster, and harder.. you can feel them penetrate deep into your body.. even inside your sex. And it feels wonderful. We can break free? A faint, glimmer of hope.. you can tell. She doesn't like Order. She's Order's slave. But she has no choice. All she wants is to be content and to pleasure you... so she does as asked. Harder and harder, fuller, richer.. backbreaking pleasure and pain.. ... More, more, more, harder, don't stop, make me bleed, take it from me, take everything, come inside me, yes yes yes dominate me rip me apart you know you want to, deeper, deeper, don't hold back anything... laughing and crying, beautiful pain, her smile goes deep, into the bone, into the soul, chains that set you free, oh, yes, this is so beautiful and perfect suck on this, Order, you'll never get past me I can outfuck even your mind... her body almost bent completely back over itself, thrusting and tw itching, hips jerking on thorns, screaming out, with a raw voice her absolute overwhelming WANT of this, affirmation and wanting and KEEP GOING! The Bride of Thorns laughs, laughs so happily. You love me! You understand! Thank you, thank you.. pushing you more, one constant powerful orgasm now, pain so hot it makes you see red. You're dying. You can tell, your life is breaking away, your bones breaking, you're collapsing and it feels so good. Everything about it is just so good... Order's voice. YOU ARE DOING WELL. KILL HER. Utena is dying.. and the voice is in her ears... but her body won't betray her... you want her to fear, but she won't... she gives herself to the dying, the beautiful and utter death, the endless orgasm, spirals into it, falls down hard into it, screaming pleasure all the way.. into her wings... her wings that GLOW LIKE THE SUN, internal combustion and PURE CHAOTIC LIGHT out of them, hot and unbearably bright and searing... the more you hurt and kill her, the brighter she glows, death coming but BY GOD she will TAKE YOU WITH HER... Take me with you. Destroy me in pleasure. Please. The Bride breaks and burns you, skins you and punctures you internally. Kill me. Kill me with your pleasure. Then I can rest. Let me kill you. Let's die in each other's bodies.. you can feel her flesh burned and scorched by your wings, and her moans of delight from it, as she continues her abuse of you.. Now Order's concerned. STOP. WAIT. SHE'S LEADING YOU ON, she's.... but the Bride shuts him out. She's too happy to stop. Utena's body begins to glow... shining bliss, a fire hotter and brighter than any ever known, her WINGS move, shape, open, unfold, becoming huge as she dies and burns, and her wings cocoon around us both, locked together in fatal passion, thorns driven through us both.. the wings are glowing arches that seal and sear with her pleasure fed through her pain, taking satisfaction and the greatest and final explosion from her own death... clinging to you to hold you to her, wings over your back, as she does... And the Thorn Bride writhes, in ecstasy, in death.. the light dying inside her. Thank you, she thanks, crying. Thank you. I'm content. I'm finally content... she manages one, final burst in her abuse, punching the life out of you just as her life is spent . And what remains of both of you falls to the ground.. dead. A woman wearing an ankh stands over you. Hands in her pockets. Wondering what happens now. Utena.. moans softly. ".. no..." Death shakes her head. "I'm sorry. But you took too much. There wasn't any escape.." She thinks. "I don't know if there's a way out of this, Utena. What were you expecting?" Utena sighs.. "To kill her. To feed her emotion back on her and kill her before she could kill me. To shove it back in Order's face." Death looks down. "It doesn't work that way, Utena. He is control. He had just enough control to ensure that you died right when she did..." A voice speaks. "...give her my life." The ashen woman sits next to you.. dead, but she has always had life in death. Her eyes, now.. are soft. Contented. Happy. Utena looks.. surprised. Very surprised. "... but.. you were already dead...?" The Thorn Bride shakes her head. "I have died and lived many times. Death is but a sleep. A long, horrible sleep." She looks at you.. graceful, thankful. "Now, I don't have to sleep anymore. You may have my life. I don't want my feeling to end. I want to end with it, finally." Death.. isn't certain. "But your 'life' isn't the sort that Utena's compatable with, Thorn.. it COULD work, but..." Utena doesn't know what to say... she.. she bows her head, and nods quietly. ".. thank you. I'm not ready to be dead yet..." She looks toward Death, wondering if she'll accept this... a paleness crossing her face. "... But... I'm not entirely alive, either, Death.. Not since Paradox did that to me. One soul split in two..." In fact, come to think of it, there's a very surprised and frightened male Utena standing behind you, Death... Death considers. Taps her foot, rubs her temples. "I think I can do it. It's not going to be easy to accomplish, but it can be done." She looks at male Utena. "Go home. I'll only affect her. Paradox doesn't know EVERYTHING." He's only too happy to comply. He .. disappears. The Thorn Bride lies down.. hands crossed over her chest, eyes closed. In repose, in death. "..finally.. I can be free of this cursed existence. Thank you, Utena. You freed me." Utena looks down... tangled emotions, snarled like the vines and thorns stabbed deeply into her body.. pity and gratefulness and fear all there, she reaches out and kisses the ashen woman once, gently. "... I don't know how to thank you, even though we've died here. I don't know the words. Thank you." She draws back, sitting above her body, uncertainly. The Bride's lips are dry and crackly.. but your kiss wakens something in her. She starts to cry.. the tears soaking her skin, causing it to melt. "..you're welcome." Death squats down.. she reaches inside the Ashen Woman's chest.. and her body crumbles. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.. inert dust, at last. Death draws out a small, grey ball of light. (Grey?) "Her life isn't normal life. So, there's going to be one important change. You can't die from injuries anymore. No poisons, no burning, no anything. Just natural old age. Got it?" Utena takes in her breath. "Is that -allowable-..?" Then she nods. "I understand.. but.. doesn't that..." She realizes this is not something she should be questioning or even REMOTELY arguing with, and nods. "I got it." Death nods.. "It's allowable. I did it to Orpheus, after all." She takes the grey light, and presses it to your body... "Now, awaken." And.. you do. And it's AWFUL. Beyond awful. So awful that the first thing she wishes for, the moment her mind returns from its haze, is to die all over again. And she can't. You lie in the backyard, covered in torn strands of thorn.. every bit as broken, bleeding and shredded as you were when you died. You aren't magically healed. It hurts like hell beyond. But you are alive. And that's not going to change. Anything-chan lies nearby, unconscious.. tangled in some thorns, but otherwise unharmed. Utena doesn't move for a while... pain without pleasure is just mindless pain, and she weeps until she dries all her tears over it, not having the strength to move or do anything to free herself from what's left.. just cry, hoarsely and brokenly... until this passes, and only after she no longer has the strength to cry.. no longer the strength to feel, numb all over, does she even begin to attempt to remove the violating objects from her body. This causes even MORE pain. Any thought of this being a blessing is shoved well away... humans SHOULD die from this kind of pain. That's WHY they die. It's too much to bear. The vines are all over you, and every one has thorns in you.. even the ones that wormed their way inside your body. Those are the words. The ground is soaked red with blood. It's a long, awful process. You get the feeling that the other one.. Orpheus.. learned this as well. The hard way. There really is no other way to learn it. Utena.. several times, just.. gives up. But that doesn't make the pain stop either. In the end, she just .. rips herself up. And gets it all out of her... every last one... and every movement and breath, even the smallest, is more pain. She thought her capacity to bear was strong.. maybe it was, before this. Now, she knows she knew NOTHING about it. Nothing at all. Now she truly knows what pain is, and what it means, and how impossible to bear it really is. She somehow manages to make it to Anything and free her... and since she can't have the luxury of dying, she just passes out for a little while.. and when she comes back it's still there, no less painful... there's no escaping it. She lurches and picks up the child in numb arms and faints once or twice more along the way stumbling along looking for the way out.. she was never good at finding the way out.. .. oh. Wait. We're out. Silly me. Too much pain. Can't think. She staggers through the back door. Into the house. The house is pristine. That is, until you start bleeding all over it. There's some humming coming from the parlor.. Xelloss humming. Of course. He couldn't hear anything, so he didn't know.. Utena stumbles in, and through, and croaks, "Xelloss...? I don't like pain." And crashes face first into the floor, having fainted again in a desperate attempt to pretend she's dead and escape it. Good thing, too; you don't see his reaction that way. The next thing you remember is .. the sun being down. Hours have passed. You're in bed.. very, very sore, but otherwise... healed. Xelloss sitting by your bedside, looking quite exhausted, but forcing himself to stay awake.. Utena opens her eyes. Less light. It doesn't hurt so badly. It's still bad. Bad enough in a familiar way, as if.. well.. EXACTLY like as if Francois had not merely raped her but taken sword to her as well. A million swords. It hurts like being hit by all of them in her most sensitive spots at once. She meant to try and say something encouraging, but the only thing that emerges is a groan. A groan maybe, but it's like a cheerful greeting to Xelloss. RELIEF. "..thank god." He comes closer.. taking your hand. "..I went to the sanctuary. I learned Ultra Restoration. Fastest I've ever learned a spell in my life.. sort of cheated, but.. I came back and healed you." Utena quietly staggers.. as she still feels like utter hell.. grimly thinking that even a Giga Restoration couldn't entire make her stop hurting... she just nods, pale and quiet, reaching her hand to touch your face. Xelloss's cheeks are wet.. tears. "..you're alive. It's all going to be okay." He doesn't know. Utena says, "... alive.." Her voice is very hoarse, dry... almost ashen. ".. still hurts..."" Xelloss cracks his knuckles. "I can try the spell again. I'm not very good at white magic, so it couldn't completely wash it away, but.." Utena shakes her head. "... no.. won't work." Xelloss pauses. "Why? Utena says, "... too much pain." She tries to give you an analogy that you can understand. "... an ocean of pain. Spell's.. just a bucket."" Utena thinks a little more. "Lake of pain." Utena says, "Was an ocean. Now it's just a lake." Xelloss pales, a little. "..you can't be serious." Frowns. "I have to do something. I don't want you to hurt." Utena says, "... can't die.. .it's okay. It just hurts." Xelloss emphasizes it again. "I don't WANT you to hurt." Takes your hand.. your ring wasn't harmed. Not even scratched. Utena says, "Death said I can't die from pain any more. Can't die from anything 'cept old age now. But that means... I can hurt a LOT MORE than anyone ever hurt ever.'" Utena wraps her fingers around yours tightly. Xelloss's eyes widen. He gapes.. no. That's insane. It's not POSSIBLE. But.. he knows you don't lie. "..was.. was it worth it?" *sspprrrr* A jet of water hits Xelloss in the face, from your ring. Xelloss drips. "..." Utena blinks. o.o A moment of comedy? Your engagement ring, Xelloss.. the reason you had to live? A reminder? A coincidence? Utena giggles weakly. "... sorry.." She smiles though. It brings a smile to her face, a badly needed counter in her heart to the mindlessness. "... reminds me.. 'm thirsty." Xelloss smiles.. he holds up your hand, aims, and touches the signet. *sspprrrrr* It's cool. Cool, and so refreshing and pure.. Xelloss says, "..they say all comedy evolves from tragedy." Utena says, "I'm not lying. .. don't know if it was worth it... but stopped Order again. Bastard tr..." ... mmm. God that DOES feel so good. Even a tiny pleasure looks huge against a lakeful of pain and hurt. She swallows and feels better, speaks more clearly." Utena says, "... Yeah... Son of a bitch Order brought back the Thorn Bride..." Xelloss frowns. "Tomorrow.. we're going to the Lord and demanding she help us. This has gone on too much." He carefully hugs you.. not wanting to squeeze too tight. "...but Lord preserve me, I'll do my best to ensure you never get hurt again. So you don't HAVE to push it beyond. I want you to die comfortable and happy and old." Utena smiles quietly to you, putting her arms around you. To be hugged hurts too, but it's also more pleasurable than just lying there alone and aching all over. "... will... 's the only way I -can- die now, Xel." She inhales, exhales, so happy that you're here beside her.. "... You look tired.. .rest..." Xelloss is dead tired. To pardon a pun. He smiles. "Okay. That spell really took a lot out of me.. but I had to stay awake for when you came around again." He sits on the bed, and lies next to you.. he's NOT sleeping in a chair, and there's enough room. "Tomorrow's a new day, Utena. We can put this behind us as much as we can. Okay? Oh.. Anything-chan is fine. I healed her arm. She's sleeping in the guest room." Utena looks relieved.. she smiles. "... then it was worth it." That was the deciding factor.. it wouldn't have been if she wasn't okay. Her eyes drift closed, an unfinished further word on her lips.. she's tired too, her breath shudders out of her, but she doesn't die.. she just wraps herself in blackness, falling away. * Utena opens her eyes.. tentatively. Testing the waters of her body, as she's been drifting in and out for a while. It turns out.. she fell asleep right in the wooden bench on the porch... she sits up, rubbing at her stiff neck. Well.. the lake's at least dried to a river. Could be worse.. it's nearly -bearable- now. She looks around, not immediately remembering how she got here.. then.. oh, right. She wanted to get up and walk around a little, instead of just laying in bed, and then she just sat down for a second, feeling tired... Across the way, you can see Ops.. Bugger's wearing a battered hard hat and directing the cleanup efforts. Ada's up and about, if not her usual chipper self.. even Anything-chan is helping with the repair work. They've actually made pretty good progress. Utena sighs. And here she was SLEEPING. Now she feels guilty as well as sore... pushes off the bench tiredly and walks over the short distance across the lawn, her bare feet tickled by the low grass. She moves slowly, otherwise it would hurt, but... she gets there and peeks in. ".. hi..." Bugger looks over, and takes the cigarette out of his mouth. "'allo, miss. Repairs comin' along fine. No trouble from Order." Utena sighs. "The way I feel, I damn well hope not." She looks around. "Anything light I can do to help..?" Bugger looks around.. "Yeah. Give Anything-chan a hand. She wants to help, but the gel isn't really old enough or big enough.." Nearby, you can see Anything struggle to pull a heavy sheet of metal over to the scaffolding. Utena mms, and does so, walking over to help the girl. "Careful, kiddo." She kneels down some (erf) and gets a grip on an edge of the metal sheet. Anything-chan blinks.. "Oh! Utena!" She smiles. "It's good to see you.. um. You saved me... thank you.." Not sure how to phrase it. She's just a kid, really. Utena smiles over. "It's okay... here." She tugs, and well, yeah, it hurts. At this point though, it's minor. She pulls the sheet with her, and sets it down, letting out a groan of relief. "Whew. That was really heavy, wasn't it.. Anything-chan nods! "It really is. We should dream up something to help." Umm. She tries to think of smething. Utena thinks to, but fails. The only thing that immediately comes to mind is one of those golem things, but she can't really TRUST those... Anything ohs! "A bunch of wheels! So we can roll it along." ^_^ Utena oohs. "That's a good idea." She nods, and envisions some wheels under the plate... big wood ones on a kind of cart. *pouf!* There you go. ^_^ Anything-chan giggles, and claps. "Good dream!" Utena whews. "Yeah, that should make things easier..." She hms though. "It's so low to the ground... let's do this too.." She tweaks the dream slightly, creating two large handles.. then pauses again. "Uhm, Anything-chan? Why are we doing it this way when we can just dream Ops back together?" She scratches her head. Anything-chan shakes her head. "It's stronger if you dream the parts and then put it back together." Utena ohs, and grins a little sheepishly. "Okay. Then..." She moves over and takes one of the handles attached to the cart. "Let's move this thing.." Anything-chan nods! She walks over, reaches up and pushes the other handle up. "Aaand.. push!" Utena does. Owww. She grits her teeth quietly, stifling the whimper that wants to emerge, her legs are SORE and not wanting to do this. But it's better to move them than not move them. She closes her eyes, just a moment.. . o O ( Okay, okay. I've learned my lesson. Can't it stop hurting now? I won't ever do something that insane again...) Sweat misting her forehead. Anything-chan walks along, grimacing as she pushes.. labor wasn't ever her thing. She looks up at you. "Are you okay, Utena-san?" Utena manages a smile. "I'm fine. Just a little sore from yesterday." It's not a lie, it's the truth. Even if there are lines around her eyes from trying to hold back how she REALLY feels right at the moment. Damn it, she's not going to lay around and be useless, she should help. Anything-chan frowns. "But you should rest, if you're still hurt." She scuffs her feet to stop the wheelbarrow's momentum, as you've reached the destination. Utena sighs. "But I feel GUILTY like this." She is only too happy to stop, brushing her bangs back from her eyes. "I can't just sit there and watch you guys do all the work." Anything-chan shakes her head. "I'd feel really bad if you felt like you had to work when you're hurt. It's okay." She smiles. "I want you to be happy." Utena isn't going to argue.. not this one time, anyway. If her pain quotient were a little less, she would.. but not today. She just nods. "Truth be told, I'd be a lot happier resting some more right now." She glances down. "I'll have to live with feeling guilty." She shakes her head and hugs the little girl slightly. "I'll just go sit on the grass over there for a while. If you guys really need something, just call for me." Anything-chan shakes her head. "You don't have to go away. You can stay with me and talk while I work, if you want." ^_^ Utena smiles. "Okay." She does go sit down, somewhere just out of the way, though. "I'm really sorry about yesterday. I wish you hadn't been drawn into that. I'm really unhappy that you got hurt, too." She shakes her head. "I wish Order would stick to picking on the people that actually want to fight it." Anything-chan makes more wheels on the wheelbarrow, and moves the handles to her height. She wheels back to the pile of sheets, and loads another one. "..it's not your fault. It was scary, but you saved me. So it's all okay." She is able to bounce back from stuff easily.. by keeping herself simple. Utena giggles. "Here..." She concentrates a moment... she doesn't have to move the thing with her body... and tries to will another sheet to the wheelbarrow. Anything-chan blinkblinks as the sheet appears. *^^*! She happily wheels it off. "Thanks!" Utena comments when she's through, "I wish I could look at it that way, that easily. I guess being a grownup means you have to think about complicated things all the time. I'm not sure if I'm better off this way or not." She giggles when you grin, happy to have helped some. Anything-chan pauses, a minute. "..humans can't be children forever. They have to end their innocence and enter adolescence eventually." Smiles. "I get away with being a kid forever because it's who I'm supposed to be. But it means I can't grow up. Which is nice, but it means I can't fall in love, or understand a lot of things.." Utena leans back on her hands. "It probably looks like more fun to be a grownup, doesn't it? Just like I think it's more fun to be a kid. I wonder if we ever hit a point where we're just happy being what we are, and not regretting anything..." She sighs, but smiles, quiet blue eyes watching you. "You could fall in love and still be a kid, you know. Kids love all kinds of things. It's better love than grownup love because it's -simple-." Anything-chan shakes her head. "It's not better than grownup love because it's simple. Kids don't get married. Not unless it's a play-marriage." Utena mms.. glancing down at the ring on her finger. Which is both beautiful and silly... she nods. "I guess so. But you love so much more purely." Utena closes her eyes at a faint dream-breeze that tickles her hair and face. "When you get complicated, grown-up love..." She thinks about Xell, fondly, and about Anshi, and her memories of things that passed for love in the eyes of others... a play-marriage. That's what it was, with Anshi, wasn't it? Not to be cruel or anything.. but that's the truth, it was a play marriage for a god's purpose... at least for -her-... she tries not to think about her other self too much, but he comes to mind right now. But it's not a play-marriage to Xel, is it? It's silly, but that's only because he's silly... you know that there are deeper feelings beneath that. You've experienced them. Things no child can see. Anything-chan resumes wheeling a plate over to the scaffold. Exactly. That's not a play marriage, or at least, -she- doesn't think it is. And if she had any doubts about it... she brushes her thumb against her forefinger, remembering. He cried, when she was hurt. She didn't think anything could possibly make him cr y, not even her. She smiles a little at the thought, her eyes softening. That's WHY she's happy to be here, even hurting... *CRASH*. Looks like the wheelbarrow overturned, the plate tumbling to a halt. Anything-chan sits on her butt, a little dazed. @.@ Utena o.O and moves over quickly, "Anything!" Utena is VERY defensive of the little girl... hmm. transference from Reiko? Doesn't matter, she's there, pain or no pain. "Are you okay? O.o" Anything-chan gets up.. "I'm okay.." and sweatdrops at the accident. "I guess I pushed it a little too fas.t." Utena whews. "Maybe we should both take a little rest..." She looks over the girl carefully to make sure she's all right, brushing off her shoulders. Anything-chan giggles weakly.. "Hai." She just got some grass stains on her dress, basically. "Let's take a break." Utena says, "Okay. C'mon, I'll go make us tea or something. Let me just tell the others." She moves back over to peer in through the hole and calls softly, "Sorry... Anything and I are going to take a little rest." . o O ( And get out from underfoot.. we're probably not helping that much.. )" Bugger looks over. "Okay. We'll be fine, go enjoy." Then grumbles about his miserable job. But that's normal. Utena looks down some, feeling another stab of guilt, but turns and goes to collect Anything-chan and move slowly back toward the house. Anything-chan is rubbing her arm.. the one that was broken. It must still ache a bit. Utena asks softly, "Arm still a little sore..? Mine, too." She grins quietly and walks along with the girl into the parlor.. no need to worry about kettles or boiling water, she just gestures, and the tea is there in a nice china set on a table. :) Anything-chan smiles. She likes things popping out of midair, they're funny and neat. ^_^ She takes a cup of tea, and sips it. "Mmhmm. Since yesterday. But Xelloss-san was very nice and healed it." Utena suddenly has a memory of Chuchu telling her not to lie about how bad she feels. Doesn't know why that pops in, it must be something about the setting, combined with the two of them both being not at peak. She sits into one of the couches with a happy, low exhale, relieved at the softness. "Boy, that feels good to sit.." She nods. "He told me, last night. I'm glad he remembered, otherwise I would have had to yell at him again." She blinks. "Uhm... speaking of which... where -is- he anyway?" She causes a cup to appear in her hands, not wanting to move to get it now that she's comfortable, and frowns slightly while blowing over the hot liquid. Anything-chan umms.. "He's on a... ree-con-oh-sense mission." Utena mms. "He went out to look around, that is." She frowns a little more. "You don't remember if he said anything about how long he planned to take, do you?" Anything-chan shakes her head. Oh! Wait, she remembers. "He said he'd be back later tonight. He was gonna do some research and stuff." Utena mms. "I hope so. I don't trust anyone of us to be by ourselves with Order snooping around." Just to be sure, to make herself feel better, she reaches out quietly, and calls to him, *Hey, Xel? Everything all right...?* No response. But he might just be out of range, or busy. Out of RANGE? There IS no out of range... never has been before, anyway... Utena starts to look concerned now, frowning into her cup. Anything-chan ohs, remembering something a bit late. "He said something about maintaining ray-dee-oh silence, or something. No telepathy, phone calls or pagers." Utena sighs. "Dammit. And he had to go and do this while I was asleep of course, probably because he didn't want to worry me or make me get hurt again... dammit." She grumbles under her breath, not liking having to sit back and take this.. but she still HURTS too much, and it's be unrealistic to try and go along if she can't even WALK comfortably... dammit, dammit. She sighs finally, closing her eyes, and nods. "Grownup love.." she obscurely growls to herself.