Samurai Pizza Cats: New Millenium

Episode 4: Blood Brothers

Written By Guido Cerviche

Rated PG

[We open with an exterior shot of the Pizza Parlor at night. Cut to Speedy and Polly's room. Speedy and Polly are both asleep in their bed. Polly's face is contorted with pain and fear, and she is sweating. Suddenly, she wakes up with a gasp and bolts up to a sitting position. After a few moments she starts breathing normal, but instead of going back to sleep she bolts out of bed. We hear the sound of her running, and a door close behind her.]

[Cut to a few minutes later when Speedy wakes up. He looks over where Polly was sleeping, realizes she isn't there, and looks around worriedly.]

Speedy: Polly? Honey where are you? Are you ok?

[In reply, he hears a loud retching sound from the bathroom. He runs to the door and waits outside. After a few minutes Polly stops throwing up, and after a minute more she exits the bathroom looking like hell.]

Speedy: Polly, are you ok? What happened?

Polly: I don't know. I woke up from this really strange dream, and all of the sudden I felt sick.

Speedy: What dream?

Polly: I don't know, I can't remember it now. Maybe it was just that tuna hoagie I had for dinner last night. I mean, it did taste a little funny.

Speedy: Well, hopefully that's all it was. Come back to bed. Let's get some sleep.

Polly [still unsteady from being sick]: Ok.

[And so the Cerviches return to bed, and in no time are sound asleep. The next morning the cats are busy preparing the parlor for another day. Polly appears to be her old self, although she is fairly tired from being sick the previous night. She lets out an audible yawn, and the others look over at her with concern.]

Guido [to Speedy]: Is Polly all right? She seems a little out of it today.

Speedy: I think so. She was sick last night, but she said she was fine this morning.

GB: Sick? You mean she was throwing up?

Speedy: Yeah, but that was about it. I mean she didn't have a fever or anything. She just thinks that the tuna hoagie she had for dinner didn't agree with her.

Francine: Well, we HAVE had that jar of mayonnaise for over a year now.

Jefferson: Ugh. I feel sick just thinking about that.

[Nodding, Speedy walks over to Polly to see if she's ok. The camera stays focused on Francine and Guido.]

Francine [to Guido]: So, what time is this brother of yours supposed to be arriving?

Guido: I think he said his plane was getting in around noon. [pauses] Watch yourself around him, Fran. Romeo is even more of a ladies man than I am.

Francine [joking around]: Well that isn't saying much for Romeo.

Guido (slightly offended): Hey!

[Francine chuckles and Guido skulks. Shift focus to Speedy and Polly.]

Speedy: Are you ok, hon?

Polly: Yeah, I'm just a little tired. Don't worry about me, Speedy.

Speedy: Sorry Polly, I can't help it. [pauses for a moment, then changes the subject] Hey, I forgot to tell you that Naomi stopped by while you were out on delivery yesterday. She wanted to thank us for helping her and Robby out with Fat Bunny and the Ninja Crows.

Polly: That was nice of her. How are they doing?

Speedy: Pretty good, from what she told me. Robby's a student at the high school now. She gave him more control over his strength and speed, and now he's the new star athlete. They even made "Couple of the Year" in the high school yearbook!

Polly: Wow, not bad!

Speedy: I thought you'd be happy to hear that. [changes the subject] Oh by the way, I spoke to Big Al about your sister. He's placing her with the Rescue Team, so she won't be directly in the line of fire.

Polly: Well that's a relief. Has she met General Catton and the others yet?

Speedy: Not yet. I think they're coming by to meet her later today.

[Their conversation is interrupted by a loud crash. Speedy looks over to find GB and Jefferson in an argument, and several pieces of dinning wear scattered on the ground.]

GB [upset]: Hey buddy, watch where you're going with that stuff!

Jefferson [same]: Watch where I'm going? You ran right into me!

GB [getting mad]: I don't think so, pal. Look, I don't care if you are Francine's cousin. You better straighten up if you want to work here, got it?

Jefferson [same]: Don't lecture me, crow boy!

Francine [separating them]: Calm down boys! GB, wipe down the counter. Jeff, [gestures to the floor] clean this mess up and get back to work.

[Both GB and Jefferson grumble, but do as they're told. Guido leans over to Francine.]

Guido: Does your cousin get along with anyone?

Francine: I really don't know. He's had a hard life, but he brought most of it on himself.

Guido: I guess emotional baggage comes with being a lowlife pervert.

Francine [teasing him again]: Speaking from personal experience?

[Guido's eyes narrow unappreciatively at Francine. Cut to the airport where Guido and Lucille are waiting for Romeo. Lucille is holding up a sign with the name Montague on it. Guido rolls his eyes.]

Guido: Lucille, that isn't funny.

Lucille: What do you mean? Your brother loves that story.

Guido: Maybe, but I'm sure he's tired of people calling him that by now.

Lucille: Oh, relax. Why are you so uptight?

Guido: Look, don't get me wrong. I love my brother, and it'll be great to see him again. But I always feel inadequate around him. I'm always hearing how much better he is than me. Smarter, more handsome, more mature...

Lucille: I guess this is the wrong time to admit I had a crush on him when we were younger.

[Guido's jaw drops in shock, and he falls over in disbelief.]

Lucille [alarmed]: Guido! Are you ok?

Guido [as Lucille helps him up]: That depends on your definition of ok. [Once he's on his feet, he takes a breath] I can't believe you said that. When did this happen?

Lucille: Oh, it was a long time ago. Back when I was in junior high and he just started high school.

Guido [surprised]: I didn't know you knew him back then. Speedy and I hadn't even noticed you yet.

Lucille: I know. I met him at the hospital when I was visiting my grandmother. He did volunteer work there.

Guido: Yeah, that sounds like Romeo: always helping out. [pause] But... you're over him now, right?

Lucille [laughs]: Oh Guido, of course! It was just a crush. It didn't go anywhere.

Guido: That's a relief. I wouldn't want him to be interested in you now.

Romeo [voice off screen]: That's just cause you know you'd have no chance with her if I were.

[Guido and Lucille turn, and the camera pans over to Romeo. A handsome tomcat in his late 20's, Romeo bears a strong resemblance to his younger brother Guido. There are a few notable exceptions however: Romeo's hair (as we can see, since he's not wearing a helmet) is long and black, tied back in a ponytail, and he has a mustache and beard which make him look older and more mature.]

Guido [happy]: Rom!

Romeo [same]: Bro! Good to see you again!

Guido: You too!

Romeo [turns to Lucille]: And it's nice to see you again, Lucille. [takes her hand and kisses it] You're more beautiful than I remember.

[Lucille blushes. Guido narrows his eyes at his brother, but quickly turns pleasant again when Lucille looks at him.]

Guido: You must be hungry, Rom. Why don't we head back to the pizza parlor, where you can meet everyone?

Romeo: I don't know if I'm in the mood for pizza right now.

Lucille: Well, we could grab lunch at my Teahouse.

Romeo: Oh, I like that idea! That way we can spend some time together with just the three of us.

[Both Romeo and Lucille seem pleased by this idea. Guido, however, does not seem eager. Moments later at the Tea House...]

Guido [whispering to Romeo, as Lucille prepares the food]: Rom, this could be a big mistake.

Romeo: Oh you worry too much, Guido. I'm not going to put the moves on Lucille. Not just yet, anyway.

Guido [eyes narrow]: That wasn't what I was worried about.

Romeo: What do you mean?

[Before Guido can answer, Lucille exits the kitchen with the food. She hands Guido and Romeo their plates.]

Romeo: By the way Guido, I heard about that comet scare. That was really brave. You and your buds did a good job.

Guido [pleased]: Thanks, bro. I appreciate that.

Romeo [turns to Lucille]: So, what else has been happening since I've been gone?

Lucille: Oh, a lot. The princess fired Big Cheese, so now we have a new Prime Minister. Except he's just as evil and corrupt as Cheese was...

[As Lucille continues to talk, Romeo takes a bite of his stir-fry and suddenly looks like he swallowed a bug.]

Lucille: ...and now you're here and that's pretty much it. [pauses] How do you like your lunch?

[Romeo doesn't reply, but continues to look ill.]

Guido: Romeo, are you ok?

[Finally, Romeo swallows the food. After a few moments his face turns green.]

Romeo [trying to hide the fact that he's sick]: Uh... It certainly has an interesting flavor.

Lucille [oblivious to the truth]: Oh, I'm so glad you like it!

Guido [whispers to Romeo]: Comets are nothing. What you just did, THAT was bravery.

[Romeo smiles weakly. Cut back to the pizza parlor, where the Rescue Team has just arrived (except, strangely enough, for Bat Cat). The cats are have just started their lunch break, and Speedy steps forward to greet Catton and the others.]

Speedy: Guys! Good to see you again.

Gen. Catton: Likewise, Speedy. Especially under such peaceful circumstances.

Speedy: I agree. [notices something] Say, where's Bat Cat?

Gen. Catton: He had to make a delivery to the Royal Palace earlier. We haven't seen him since.

Speedy [recognizing trouble]: Uh oh.

Gen. Catton (concerned): What is it?

Speedy: Well, Bat Cat told me that Princess Vi has had a crush on him since he rescued her at the wedding. If he's down at the Palace...

Gen. Catton [seeing Speedy's point]: Uh oh.

[Cut to the Royal Palace exterior. Bat Cat is flying quickly around the palace while Vi follows, kicking up dust clouds.]

Bat Cat [frantic]: Princess, please! Control yourself!

Princess Vi: Come down so we can be married, darling!

[Cut back to the parlor.]

Meowsma: Well, to tell you the truth I don't think there's anything wrong with Bat Cat and Vi getting together. I mean, she IS a Princess. Do you think he can do any better?

Gen. Catton: Maybe not, but I don't think he's ready to be committed.

Speedy: To Princess Vi, or an insane asylum?

Gen. Catton: Isn't that the same thing?

Spritz: Excuse me guys, but aren't we here to meet someone?

Speedy: Oh yes, Ruth! She and Polly are in the kitchen. I'll go get them.

[Speedy makes his way towards the kitchen, where Polly and Ruth are cleaning up and talking.]

Ruth: I had another dream about Guido last night. Wanna hear it?

Polly: Not really. I think I can guess what kind of dream you had about Guido.

Ruth [giggles]: Well, can you blame me? I mean, he is mega-cute.

Polly [sighs tiredly]: Sis, please just leave him alone. Guido's a good friend and he's happy with Lucille. I don't want you to mess with that.

Ruth (mock indignation): Polly, I'm surprised you would think your sweet innocent little sister would be capable of such a thing!

Polly [eyes narrow] (suspicious): Oh, really?

Speedy [sticks his head in the kitchen]: Hi, girls! The Rescue Team is here.

Polly: Ok hon, we'll be right out! [As soon as Speedy leaves, Polly turns back to Ruth.] Oh, by the way, my husband is off limits too.

Ruth: Don't worry, you can have him. He's not half as cute as Guido.

[The girls enter the main restaurant, where Speedy makes the introductions.]

Speedy: Guys, allow me to present my lovely sister-in-law, Ruth Esther.

Ruth [to the Rescue Team]: Pleased to meet you.

Meowsma: Likewise.

Spritz [impressed]: I'll say! [steps forward] So, you're Polly's little sister? I look forward to working with you.

[Ruth grins. Behind her, Polly eyes Spritz suspiciously.]

Gen. Catton: Well now that we've been introduced, what now?

Spritz: Ruth, what would you say to lunch? I'd love to take the chance to get to know you better.

Ruth: Sounds great! Just let me get a few things.

Polly: Uh, Spritz? May I see you for a sec?

[Ruth leaves to get her things. Spritz walks over to Polly, who sits behind the serving counter, idly twirling a stick of pepperoni.]

Spritz: Hey, Polly. You're sister is cute.

Polly: I'm glad you think so. By the way, I think it's fair to warn you that she doesn't really have good taste in men. Over half the boyfriends she's had thus far have been deadbeats who tried to take advantage of her.

Spritz: Hey, chill out Polly. You know I'd never do anything like that.

Polly [deadly serious]: You better not. Ruth and I don't always see eye to eye, but she IS my little sister. And if anyone was to try anything with her, and I found out... [tosses the stick of pepperoni into the air and swipes it with her claws. The slices fall neatly to the counter-top.] Have I made myself clear?

Spritz [gulps]: Cr-crystal.

Polly: Good boy.

[Ruth returns with her stuff in hand.]

Ruth: Ok, I'm all ready to go!

Spritz [nervous]: Uh, yeah. Great.

[The Rescue Team leaves with Ruth. Speedy turns to look at Polly, who is smiling sweetly. Cut back to Guido, Romeo, and Lucille. Having already dropped Romeo's bags at his hotel room, the three of them are now at the mall, shopping.]

Lucille: So Romeo, what have you been doing all these years?

Guido: Yeah Rom, what's up? The last time you wrote me you said you were in France. Was that for real?

Romeo [grinning]: Oui oui!

Lucille [impressed]: Wow! What were you doing there?

Romeo: Have either of you heard of the Krawzun Agency?

Guido: Of course. They're one of the biggest organizations of freelance superheroes in the world. [puts one and one together] You're not saying...

Romeo: Yep. They offered me a job around the same time you, Speedy and Polly became the Pizza Cats. I've been traveling around the world on various assignments from them. The latest one was in France.

Lucille: Sounds exciting. What were you doing there?

Romeo [dead serious]: I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you. [Guido and Lucille look at him in shock, and he cracks up] Sorry. I always wanted to say that. But I did have a secrecy clause in my contract.

Lucille: Oh, come on! Tell me, I can't stand not knowing!

Romeo [gives her a sly look]: Are you going to pump me for information?

[Lucille blushes, while Guido glares at his brother.]

Guido [gritting his teeth]: Watch it, Romeo.

[Before anyone can say anything else, a woman screams. The three of them turn towards the sound, and Guido and Romeo run towards it. They find a small group of 5 Ninja Crows harassing the customers and employees of an electronics store. The scream came from a customer who had her purse snatched.]

Crow 1: All right Flying Skull, time to clean house! The boss wants anything and everything that's even remotely valuable. That means none of these saps leaves here with anything more than the shirts on their backs!

Guido: Think again, bird brain! Let these people go, or you'll have to answer to us!

Crow 1 [eyes wide]: Ack! The Pizza Cats!

Crow 2: Relax. There's just one, plus some wannabe I've never seen before.

Romeo: The name is Romeo Anchovy, Hero-for -Hire.

Crow 2: Yeah? And I'm Princess Mononoke.

Crow 1: Enough! Crows, ATTACK!

[Even without their weapons, the Anchovy brothers make quick work of the small band of Ninja Crows. Guido knocks one out with a kick to the face, grabs his sword, and duels with a second crow before delivering a light slash to his gut {not deep enough to be fatal} and bashing him over the head when he doubles over. Romeo proves to be a master at unarmed combat. He floors one crow with a rapid succession of palms to the face, and evades the sword strikes of another before kicking him in the chest and knocking the wind out of him. Finally, in a Jackie Chan-esque manner, he slides through the legs of the third crow, grabs a fax machine from the shelf behind him, and bashes it into his head knocking him out. Lucille, who caught up to the Anchovy brothers just in time to see the fight, cheers them on.]

Lucille [applauding]: Woo hoo! Way to go guys!

[By now the crow that only had the wind knocked out of him has recovered. He flies over Guido and Romeo, lands by Lucille, and takes her hostage.]

Crow 3: All right, heroes. Surrender or the cutie undergoes open-heart surgery!

[The crow takes out his sword and holds it at Lucille's chest to make his point. Scared out of her mind, Lucille blows her top. One of the missiles heads for Guido and Romeo. Without panicking, Romeo grabs Guido's Sunspot Umbrella and swings it at the missile like a baseball bat. The Sunspot hits the missile and knocks it back towards the crow. The crow shrieks, drops Lucille, and tries to outrun the missile. Fortunately he doesn't get far. He collapses to the ground, slightly crispy and unconscious.]

Guido [runs to Lucille]: Lucille! Are you ok?

Lucille [still uneasy]: I- I think so. Romeo! [runs over to him] You saved my life. Thank you.

Romeo: Don't mention it. I'm just thankful you're safe. [pauses and looks over at Guido, who is glaring at him.] Hey, why don't you two go look at some of the other stores? I'll keep watch over these guys until security arrives, and then I'll catch up with you and we can head back to the Pizza Parlor.

Lucille: That sounds like a good idea. Come on, Guido.

[Guido's glare quickly fades when Lucille looks over at him. She rejoins him and the two of them walk away from the store into the rest of the mall. Later, the trio arrives at the Pizza Parlor. The lunch break is over, but it's an off hour so the parlor isn't busy.]

Speedy: So Romeo, what brings you back to Little Tokyo?

Romeo: Well, to tell you the truth, I came to help you guys out.

Polly: What do you mean?

Romeo: The hero-for-hire business hasn't been very active lately. I'm practically out of work. I was kind of hoping I could lend you a hand, at least until business picks up.

Guido [smug]: So you're asking for a job.

Romeo: Yeah, I am. So, how about it baby bro?

Guido: Well, I don't know if we have room for you. What do you think Speedy?

Speedy: Hey, if Romeo is good enough to be recruited by the Krawzun Agency it couldn't hurt to have him around to back us up.

Lucille: I think it'd be a great idea for Romeo to lend you guys a hand. Speedy, you should've seen the way he handled those Ninja Crows.

Francine: You guys ran into Ninja Crows?

Guido: There were only five of them. They were probably from Seymour's camp, making another supply raid. The two of us pretty much wiped them out.

GB: Pardon my saying so, but it doesn't take a whole lot to wipe out five Ninja Crows. Let's face it, those guys are cannon fodder.

Polly: He's got a point there.

Speedy: Guido, he's your brother. What do you think?

[Guido thinks about it for a moment, looking over the faces of his friends, his gaze finally resting on Romeo's. Finally, he takes a deep breath and makes a decision.]

Guido: Sure, why not. He can work with Ruth on the Rescue Team.

Romeo: Thanks little bro! [gives Guido a big bear hug. Guido's eyes bug out of his head a little.]

Guido [gasping for air]: Sure... No prob... [Romeo lets go and he drops like a bag of rocks, gasping for air.]

Speedy: Well that settles it then. I'll get on the phone with Big Al and get the ok from him.

Lucille: Guido, I told Josie and Wally I'd be home at 3:30. Would you mind walking me home?

Guido: That sounds like a good idea. [to the others] I'll be back in a little bit, guys.

Francine: See you soon, Guido.

Jefferson: Lucille, say hi to your sister for me!

[Guido and Lucille exit the parlor. Cut to a few minutes later, as they walk towards Lucille's house.]

Lucille: Guido, are you ok? You've been kind of quiet.

Guido: I'm fine, Lucille. [pauses a moment] Lucille, why didn't you tell me the truth when I asked you if you still had feelings for Romeo?

Lucille [stunned]: What are you talking about? I did tell you the truth.

Guido: Come on, Lucille. You're practically falling all over him.

Lucille: I am not! I'm just grateful to him for saving my life.

Guido [annoyed]: Saving your life? Lucille, he took out five Ninja Crows with my help. You could probably take out two or three times that many by blowing your top.

Lucille: If they're such pushovers, then why didn't you do something about that crow that tried to gut me?

Guido (getting angry): Sorry, I froze. People have a tendency to do that when a nuclear warhead is baring down on them!

Lucille (same): Then maybe you better go home before you catch another one in the face! [storms ahead] I can get home by myself. In the future, try to leave me out of any issues you have with your brother.

[Guido chases after Lucille, calling after her. Eventually he gives up, turns around, and walks home angry with himself. At one point he stops in front of a brick wall and begins punching it. Eventually he stops begins walking home again. The scene fades out.]

[Commercial Break]

[The door to the pizza parlor opens, and Guido stands there cradling his bloody hand.]

Speedy: Back so soon, Guido? [notices his injury] Oh, jeez. What happened?

Guido: Relax Speedy, we weren't attacked. I just punched a wall.

GB: Why would you do something stupid like that?

Guido: It's not nearly as stupid as what I said to Lucille. We got into a fight and she ran off. I was so mad at myself that I attacked the wall.

Francine [kneels in front of him, inspecting his hand]: Damn, I'd hate to see the wall. Can you move it?

Guido: It's pretty sore, but yeah I can.

Francine: Well, it's probably not broken then. That's good. [pauses, then stands up] Hold on, I have some salve in my medicine cabinet. It should help the cuts and bruising.

[Francine walks towards her room. Guido sits down at a table. Romeo gets up and walks towards him.]

Romeo: Did I hear you correctly? Is there trouble in paradise?

Guido [glares at him]: This isn't the time, Romeo. This REALLY isn't the time.

[Before Romeo can respond, Francine returns with the ointment and some bandages. Guido holds his hand out, and Francine begins to rub the ointment on it.]

Guido: Wow. That feels pretty good, Fran. My hand doesn't hurt nearly as much.

Francine [wrapping the gauze bandage around it]: Thanks. It should be good as new by tomorrow. Just try and keep your emotions in check from now on.

Guido: Yeah, I'll keep that in mind.

[Guido's eyes stay on Fran until she's out of sight. When he turns back to Romeo, his brother is grinning wider than before.]

Romeo: I saw that.

Guido (annoyed): What?

Romeo: You LIKE her, don't you?

Guido: I don't know what you're talking about. Fran's a good friend. That's all.

Romeo: Uh huh, sure, whatever. Listen bro, if you like her then go for it. Don't worry about Lucille, I'll take care of her-

Guido [really ticked off]: All right, that's enough! Leave me alone before I bust my other hand up on your face!

Romeo [defensive]: Hey, calm down! I was just kidding.

Guido: Oh yeah, VERY funny!

Speedy [breaking them up]: Ok guys, both of you just cool it! [to Romeo] Look Rom, maybe you should just give Guido some space. How about we take you down to Guru Lou's place? He'll fix you up with some equipment.

Romeo: Sure, sounds good Speedy.

Speedy: Glad you think so. [to Guido] Guido, why don't you stay here and cool off?

Guido: No prob, Speedy.

Speedy [to the others]: Who else is coming?

GB: I'll go with ya.

Francine: Jeff and I will stay here.

Jefferson: She said as if I had a choice in the matter. [sighs] Oh well, I doubt Lou would have anything I'd be interested in anyway.

Speedy [to Polly]: What about you, Polly?

Polly [sighs tiredly]: I don't really feel up to a trip to Lou's today. I'll stay here.

Speedy [concerned]: Are you ok? You're not feeling sick again, are you?

Polly: Of course not. I just need to catch up on some sleep.

GB: Don't worry, Speedy. You know how tough Polly is.

[Speedy nods at GB and gives Polly a kiss. He, GB, and Romeo wave goodbye and walk out the door.]

[Cut to Guru Lou's laboratory. Lou is busy tinkering with some strange new device. He's wearing safety goggles and a white lab coat, and sparks are flying up from his workplace. There is a knock at the front door, but he doesn't respond. After a few moments of continuous knocking, his assistant Scott Cerviche finally approaches the door and opens it.]

Speedy: Hi, Scott. Did we come at a bad time?

Scott: Not at all, we were just finishing up. [looks at Romeo] Who's the new guy?

Speedy [introducing them]: Scott, meet Romeo Anchovy. He's going to be helping us out for a while. We came to see about some equipment for him.

Romeo [shakes Scott's hand]: Nice to meet you.

Scott: Likewise. Naturally you came to the right place. [To all of them] Come on in.

GB [as they enter]: Looks like you guys have been busy.

Scott: We have. Actually, Guru Lou has been working on a few new gadgets for you guys. [calls to Lou] Sir! Speedy and GB are here, and they brought Guido's brother!

Guru Lou: Great. [to the others] Make yourselves at home guys. I'll be with you in a minute.

[Speedy, GB and Romeo settle in while Lou finishes up.]

Romeo [looking around at the lab]: This is some place you guys have here. What do you call this style?

Scott: Organized chaos. It may look like a mess, but we know exactly where everything we need is.

[It does appear as though a bomb hit the place. Guru Lou finishes tinkering with the device he was working on, and walks over to Speedy and the others.]

Guru Lou: Thanks for waiting.

Speedy: No prob. What was that thing you were working on?

Guru Lou: Actually, it's a top-secret assignment from Big Al. Very hush-hush.

Speedy: Oh, really?

Guru Lou [grins]: Yeah. Tell you all about it later.

GB [clears his throat]: Lou, Scott told us you had some new stuff for us?

Guru Lou: Sure do! Scott, show the boys what we've been working on.

[Scott walks to the back of the room and brings back a small box.

Scott [opens the box and shows them what's in it]: Feast your eyes on these!

GB [looking at the small devices in the box]: They're ninja stars. What's the big deal? I go through a couple hundred of them a month.

Scott: Not like these. These stars weren't built for combat. They're tracers.

GB: Tracers?

Guru Lou: See that tiny crystal embedded in the center? When you toss the star at someone it releases the crystal, which sticks to him or her. That crystal also emits a radio signal, which you can track with this receiver. [shows them a device which resembles a pocket calculator, but with fewer buttons and a bigger screen.]

Speedy: Not bad.

Scott: Thanks. We could probably even install a receiver in your helmet. That way you could just pull down your visor to track someone.

GB: Nice. [notices a device hidden under a sheet] What's this one?

Guru Lou: Oh, you wouldn't be interested in that GB. That's a rocket pack for Speedy and the others. We modified it from one of their Pizza Travel Packs.

Speedy [pulls the sheet off] (impressed): Sweet! No more headaches from being launched from the cannon! Can I try it out?

[Scott and Guru Lou look uneasy but, before they can object, Speedy tries it on anyway. Activating it, he flies around the lab. At first he seems to have complete control, but it gradually gets faster and more erratic. Speedy begins to scream but it's cut off when he crash-lands exactly where he was standing before, on his head.]

Guru Lou [looking sheepish]: Eh heh heh heh. It still needs a little work.

Speedy (in great pain) [still upside down]: So I see.

Romeo [low whistle]: Good thing you had your helmet.

[Speedy quickly unstraps himself from the wreckage of the rocketpack, and stands up.]

Scott: So, would you like to see the rest?

Speedy & GB [in unison, very quickly]: No, no, no, no, no, no!

Speedy: We'll come back for them later. In the meantime, we'll just take the standard equipment for Romeo.

Romeo: Are you sure it'll be safe?

GB: Relax. That thing was experimental. This is proven tech they'll be hooking you up with.

Guru Lou [as Scott drags Romeo into their work area]: Step right this way sir, and we'll have you suited up in no time.

[Romeo shoots Speedy and GB a desperate "Help Me" look, as Lou and Scott drag him away. Cut back to the parlor. Guido is sitting at the counter, feeling pretty lousy. Suddenly he becomes aware of someone standing behind him. He turns around to see Ruth, who returned from her lunch w/ the Rescue Team a little while ago.]

Ruth: You look down, Sugar.

Guido [looks depressed]: I guess you could say that.

Ruth: Your brother giving you grief?

Guido: Among other things. (curious) How did you know?

Ruth: Are you kidding? I'm the expert on aggravating siblings. I do have Polly for a sister, you know.

Guido: Point taken.

Ruth: Anyway, I think I know what might cheer you up.

Guido: What's that?

[Without saying a word, Ruth leans forward and gives Guido a kiss on the cheek.]

Guido [smiles slightly]: Thanks, but I have a girlfriend.

Ruth [restrained disappointment]: You mean Lucille.

Guido: Yeah. At least, I hope she's still my girlfriend. We got into a little bit of an argument.

Ruth [half-joking]: Well, I can always hope. [slight pause] I'm sorry, that was a bad joke.

Guido: That's ok. No harm done.

Ruth: Good. [begins to walk away, but stops and turns back for a second] Seriously though, if things don't work out between you two, I'm always available.

Guido [uneasy]: Uh, thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

[Ruth returns to waiting on tables, and Guido finishes his drink. Cut to the streets of Little Tokyo as Speedy, GB, and Romeo walk home. Romeo is now dressed in a suit of armor very similar to Guido's except it's black instead of blue.]

Romeo: I don't know about this, guys. Black just seems so... ominous.

GB: I think it looks cool. Adds to the intimidation factor too.

Romeo: Maybe so, but- [Stops, his ears standing up as if he heard something.] Huh? Did you guys hear that?

Speedy: Hear what? What are you- [Speedy stops as his ears stand up too.] Wait. You're right, I do hear something.

GB [as a number of shadowy figures appear behind them]: The Flying Skull. They're here.

[The figures emerge from the shadows and our three heroes find themselves surrounded by dozens of Ninja Crows.]

Romeo: Don't these guys compare notes? Guido and I just thrashed them earlier today.

GB: Guido said they were from Cheese's camp. These guys are probably Don Costanza's followers.

Romeo: You mean there's a split in the clan?

GB: In a manner of speaking.

Speedy: Shall we discuss ninja crow politics later, guys? They're getting ready to-

Crow 1: ATTACK!

[The crows rush at our heroes from all directions. Speedy, GB, and Romeo fight back valiantly and many crows fall before them. But for every crow that is defeated, two more rush forward to take his place.]

Romeo [holding off two crows at once]: They're relentless! There's just too many of them!

GB [engaged in an aerial duel]: Speedy, signal for help!

Speedy [knocked to the ground by a lucky blow]: Oof! [rises to his knee] Right.

[Speedy rings the cellular cat bell. Cut to the parlor. Polly and Guido are back at work, when Francine notices the cellular cat bell ringing.]

Francine: Oh, drat! Don't tell me those guys are in trouble all ready!

Ruth: Relax, Fran. I'm on it.

Polly: I'm going too.

Ruth: Polly, I can handle myself!

Polly: Calm down, Ruth. This isn't about you. Speedy's my husband, and if he needs help then I'm going to be there for him.

[The annoyed look on Ruth's face fades, and the two Esther sisters make their way to the ovens. After a few moments, Guido tears off his apron and follows them.]

Guido: I'm coming with you. Romeo maybe a complete jerk, but he's still my brother. If he's in trouble, I should be the one to bail him out.

Jefferson: Well, what are you guys waiting for? The cannon is already locked in on the cat bell's signal, so get moving!

[Polly, Guido and Ruth hop in the ovens. Cue the launch sequence.]

[Cut back to Speedy, GB and Romeo. They are still fighting off ninja crows, but are beginning to tire.

GB: I don't know how much more we can take, guys!

Speedy: Hang in there! Help will be here soon. <Man, I hope someone gets here soon!>

Crow 2: Keep it up, Crows! They're getting tired!

[Suddenly, one of Polly's heart-bombs lands right in the middle of a crowd of Ninja Crows. It explodes upon impact, sending about five of them soaring into the air. They don't land anywhere visible.]

Crow 3: ACK! What the hell?!

[The crows stop attacking and turn to the direction of the attack. The camera pans to a nearby rooftop, where we see silhouettes of Polly, Guido, and Ruth in their battle poses {Polly playing her flute, Guido holding the Sunspot over his face, and Ruth with her arms folded across her chest.}]

Ruth [spotlight on Ruth]: Somebody call in the Cavalry? [unfolds her arms, and seemingly from nowhere produces a tall staff with a blade on the end, which she twirls in front of her.] These crows are toast!

Guido [spotlight on him]: Like I said, he may be a jerk but he's still my brother. [moves the umbrella away] And that means no one can mess with him but me!

Polly [spotlight on her]: Speedy, I hope for the crows' sake that they didn't hurt you too badly. Otherwise they can kiss their tail-feathers [blows a kiss] goodbye!

[Quickly cut to Speedy, who grins at Polly's remark. Cut back to a shot of Polly, Guido, and Ruth, all in a spotlight.]

All 3: PIZZA CATS TO THE RESCUE!

Crow 3 [to the other crows]: What are you bozos doing just standing around and listening to them?

Romeo: Hey, bro! Appreciate the assist! Now what do you say we thrash these feather dusters?

Guido [as he, Polly and Ruth leap down into the fray]: Right!

[The fight resumes with the crows now fighting twice as many Pizza Cats. Naturally, the crows no longer have the advantage as the combined fighting prowess of our heroes begins to finally wear down their numbers.]

[With a swing of her polearm, Ruth takes out three crows charging after her. She then slips the weapon back into its sheath on her back and whips out her sword to duel with a fourth crow, which she quickly disarms and forces into submission.]

[Although tired from the long battle, GB still manages to hold five Ninja crows at bay. As they begin to press forward with their attack, GB tosses down a smoke bomb and escapes. As the crows look around for GB, a handful of ninja stars fly through the air. One strikes the chest of each crow, knocking the wind out of them. GB lands behind the crows and finishes them off with a few well placed sword strikes.]

[Romeo is fending off crows with his fencing rapier, the only weapon he has at the moment. {His other weapons are still in his bags back at the parlor.} He manages to keep two crows at a distance, not noticing the other three sneaking up behind him. Guido jumps to his brother's defense and pummels the crows mercilessly. Romeo jumps as one-crow lunges for him, bounces off the crow's head and lands on the second crow, knocking them both out.]

[Polly begins performing her Passion Power Paws move. The screen turns black and red claw marks appear in a crisscross pattern. The screen returns to normal, and five crows fall to the ground. So does Speedy.]

Polly [repentant]: Oh no, SPEEDY! [rushes to him] I'm so sorry!

Speedy [recovering, but still has the scratch marks on his face]: Ouch. I never realized how painful that was.

Polly: Are you ok?

Speedy: Yeah, I'll be fine.

Crow 4 [to the Pizza Cats]: We'll have our revenge next time, Pizza Cats! [to the few remaining crows] Retreat!

Crow 5: Let's get the hell out of here!

[Our heroes watch as the crows run away.]

Ruth: What was their problem?

GB: Who knows. Maybe Fat Bunny's having trouble keeping his troops in line.

Speedy: Let's worry about that later. Right now I want to go home.

[And so the Pizza Cats head back to the Pizza Parlor. Fade out.]

[Commercial Break.]

[Our heroes have just arrived back home to find Francine and Jefferson chatting with Chris Logan {Last seen in New Millenium #2}.]

Chris: Well, I must say you've done a great job here Francine. You're very business savvy.

Francine [full of false modesty]: Oh, it's not much but thank you anyway. [Elbows a nearly comatose with boredom Jefferson to wake him up.]

Chris [rising from his chair]: Ah, I see your friends are finally back. [walks towards them, extending his hand to Speedy] Speedy, good to see you again!

Speedy (coldly): Hello, Mr. Logan.

Chris: Oh come on, call me Chris. [turns to Polly] (smoothly) And Polly, a pleasure as always my dear.

Polly [confused]: I'm sorry, do we know each other?

Chris (softly): Oh yes, very well. [pats her on the butt]

Polly [shocked]: YEEEEK!!! [angry] PERVERT! [Punches him hard in the gut. Chris's eyes bug out of his head and he flies back across the room, making an impression in the wall.]

Francine: Whoa. Nice shot, Polly!

Speedy [walks over to the barely conscious Chris]: Uh... Chris? Listen it's a long story, but that wasn't actually Polly you were talking to last time.

Chris [in great pain]: Let me guess: An old enemy of yours sneaked back into town, kidnapped Polly, and created an evil clone of her to take her place and frame her for a string of cat burglaries while attempting to bring the team down from the inside?

Speedy [surprised]: Uh, yeah. How'd you know?

Chris [still in pain]: I didn't, it was just a lucky guess. [falls out of the imprint on the wall and collapses on the ground.]

Speedy [waves a hand in front of his face]: Chris? Hello?

Francine [nonchalant]: Oh, he'll be fine. [to everyone else] (authoritatively) Ok people, back to work! This is a business, not a lounge!

[Grumbling, everybody scatters around the parlor and gets back to work. Enter Lucille and Josie Omitsu.]

Guido [stunned, stops waiting on tables]: Lucille! What are you doing here?

Lucille: I need to talk to you. Are you free?

Guido: Probably. We're not that busy right now. Just let me ask Fran.

Lucille: Ok.

[Guido walks over to Francine to ask her for a break. Up front, Jefferson is nervously trying to strike up a conversation w/ Josie.]

Jefferson [very anxious]: Hi, Josie. Uh... wh... what are you doing here?

Josie: Lucille said she needed to come talk to Guido about something. She seemed a little upset, so I thought I'd come along for moral support. You know what happens when my little sister gets upset.

Jefferson [laughs nervously]: Heh heh heh heh. [tries to calm down] So... um... Would you like to... I mean, are you-

Ruth [interrupting]: Oh... my... GOD! JOSIE! Josie, remember me?

Josie [sees Ruth, runs up to her]: Ruth Esther?! Wow, you look great! Good to see you again!

[Ruth and Josie continue to talk about old times, leaving Jefferson forgotten. The camera pans back to Lucille as Guido walks back up.]

Guido: Fran said it's ok. Do you want to talk here, or go someplace more private?

Lucille: Why don't we go for another walk? I could use the fresh air.

Guido: Sounds good.

[Guido waves goodbye to everyone in the parlor and walks out with Lucille. The camera cuts over to Speedy, Francine, and Chris. Chris has since recovered from Polly's attack and is now discussing his work with Speedy and Fran.]

Speedy: So what exactly do you do, Chris?

Chris: I'm Assistant Subdivision Director of Information Collection Systems at Chronos International.

Speedy [not understanding one word Chris said]: I see.

Chris: Chronos International is a major conglomerate. Basically, I gather information on our subsidiaries and other companies the Acquisitions department is interested in.

Francine (curious): Is that why you were asking me so many questions earlier? Is Chronos interested in "acquiring" us?

Chris [pauses slightly]: Actually, yes we are.

Speedy [stunned]: WHAT?! You're kidding!

Chris: No, I'm very serious. Look, I've seen how much business this place gets. You guys are too successful for your own good. Chronos could help you expand by offering more employees, larger facilities, whatever you need.

Speedy: Chris, you know we do more than just make pizzas here. It's no secret what we really do anymore.

Chris: You mean the superhero team. Don't worry, we have plenty of freelance superheroes working for Chronos. One of our companies is Elite Operatives, the Krawzun Agency's top competitor.

Speedy: Romeo is the only freelancer here. Our duty is to Little Tokyo, and we can't allow that to be compromised by selling out.

Chris: Whoa, calm down Speedy. I wasn't suggesting you guys sell out. [pauses as he changes the subject] Anyway, that's not the main reason I'm in Little Tokyo. One of our recent acquisitions, a weapons manufacturer called Costanza Enterprises recently relocated here, and I've been sent to handle the evaluation.

Speedy [amazed]: Talk about your small worlds.

Chris: Come again?

Speedy: Costanza Enterprises is headed by Don "Fat Bunny" Costanza, who recently became our new Prime Minister. He also happens to be the one behind most of the recent mayhem since Seymour Cheese was fired from that post.

Chris: That is strange.

Polly [comes barreling out of the kitchen, very angry]: This day just keeps getting better and better. First I get sick, then I accidentally maul my husband, then some pervert harasses me, and now I've burnt the spinach puffs!

Chris [to Polly, ignoring her tirade]: Hey, by the way Polly, I'm really sorry about earlier. I mean, how could I have known-

Polly [interrupting, very angry]: YOU AGAIN! You're already on my list buster, SO DON'T MAKE IT WORSE!

Chris [looks at Speedy and Francine's suspicious faces and Polly's angry glare]: Guys, did I do something wrong?

[Cut back to Lucille and Guido, as they walk down the street.]

Lucille: I'm glad you were available. I was afraid you wouldn't want to talk to me. [pauses for a moment] (apologetic) Guido, I'm so sorry about earlier.

Guido: Don't be. It was my fault.

Lucille [they stop walking]: No, it wasn't. I- I shouldn't have gotten mad at you like that. [tears begin to form in her eyes] Please forgive me?

Guido [panicking slightly]: OK, OK, I forgive you! Just don't get upset, OK Lucille?

Lucille [calming down]: O-ok. [takes a deep breath] I called earlier while you guys were out and Francine told me what happened. That's why I was so upset. I never wanted to come between you two like that.

Guido (reassuring her): Don't worry, you're not the first girl we ever got into an argument over. Personally, I'm more concerned about him coming between us. [pauses] Anyway, you had a right to be mad at me. I over-reacted as usual. I'm the one who should be sorry.

Lucille [puts her arms around Guido's neck, and kisses him.]: It's ok, Guido.

[Lucille and Guido continue to kiss for a while. The camera cuts to about an hour later. Guido and Lucille stopped in Wally's sushi parlor to get something to eat. They are having a 24-piece sushi platter, which they are splitting, and sake` to drink. Guido hungrily pops a California Roll into his mouth.]

Lucille: So, have you spoken to Romeo since your little quarrel?

Guido [swallows the food]: I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet. I was still kind of annoyed at him when we went back to the parlor.

Lucille [takes a sip of sake`]: Well, make sure you do. I don't want you two to stay mad at each other because of me. [She grabs a piece of tuna w/ her chopsticks and dips it in the soy sauce.]

Guido: Look, let's not worry about Romeo right now. Let's just have fun, ok?

Waiter [steps up to the table]: Can I get either of you anything else?

Guido: Yes, I think I'd like some more sake`. What about you, Lucille?

Lucille: [pauses as she swallows her food] Yeah, make that two.

Waiter [nods]: Coming right up!

[The waiter walks off to fill their order. Cut to the pizza parlor, next morning. The cats are once again getting ready for the workday. Guido has not returned, much to everyone's irritation. Romeo enters.]

Speedy [wiping a counter]: Romeo, you're here! Great, you can fill in for your delinquent brother.

Romeo: What? You mean he isn't here?

Polly [scowling, getting the cooking utensils out]: As far as we can tell he hasn't been back since he went out last night. He's going to be very sorry he got distracted when he gets back. [bends a frying pan in half]

Romeo [gulps]: I see. Well, you guys are obviously busy so I'll just get out of your-

Francine [interrupting, grabbing Romeo by the collar]: Oh no you don't mister! If you want to be a Pizza Cat, then you have to take the whole package. That includes working here at the parlor.

Romeo: But I don't have any experience in the service industry!

Francine: Then you better be a fast learner!

[Romeo continues to struggle in vain as Francine drags him into the kitchen. Ruth watches them go, then sighs to herself.]

Ruth [concerned]: <Guido... I hope you're ok.>

[Cut to Lucille's house, exterior shot. The day passes into night and into the next day. Cut to inside. Lucille is lying in bed, half-asleep, in a blue nightie. She rolls over and hears a muffled groan. She raises her head and sees Guido laying beside her, also half-awake. Looking over at her alarm clock, which also shows the date, she gasps in shock.]

Lucille [shaking Guido]: Guido, wake up! We missed an entire day!

Guido [lifts his head, looks at the clock and realizes what day it is]: S[CENSORED]! I'm thirty-seven hours late for work! The guys are gonna kill me! [leaps out of the bed, turns to Lucille and kisses her] Love ya, Lucille. See you Friday?

Lucille: Can't. I'm going shopping.

Guido: Ok, I'll call you then. See ya.

[Guido dashes to the door. Cut back to the parlor, where business is once again in full swing.]

Francine [to Speedy]: You don't think something happened to him, do you?

Speedy: I'm sure he's fine, Francine. Guido can take care of himself. There's nothing to worry about. [turns away, looking worried] <I hope...>

[The phone rings. Jefferson answers it.]

Jefferson: Samurai Pizza Cats. Pizza's our middle name! [pause] Oh, hi Al! Let me guess, ninja crows? [pause] Thought so. [pause] Well, THAT is different. Don't worry, we're on it. Jeff out. [hangs up] Hey guys, it's that time again!

Speedy: Is ABC having another "Whose Line is it Anyway?" marathon?

Jefferson: No, you idiot! Ninja crows are on the attack! And they're getting gutsy too: Big Al says they're heading for the Royal Palace.

Polly: How many are there this time?

Jefferson: About eighteen.

Francine: Ok. Speedy, Polly, Romeo and GB, you guys go handle the crows. Ruth, Jeff and I will take care of things here and keep an eye out incase Guido shows up.

Speedy: Sounds good. Let's move out!

[Cut straight to the cannon firing off three shots. After a few moments, the flames of the fireballs die away to reveal Speedy, Polly, and Romeo {whose fireball was still blue, even though his armor is black} who catch up to flying GB.]

GB: You're not scared of heights, are you Romeo?

Romeo [nervous]: It's not so much the heights, it's falling from them.

Speedy: What about the other laws of physics?

Romeo: Such as?

[The three cats {but not GB} slam into a wall.]

Speedy (in pain): Momentum.

Romeo (same): I was fine with it up to that point.

Polly (same): Oh really? What a shame.

[The three of them slide slowly down the wall. GB is waiting for them at the bottom.]

GB: Guys, this is no time to be lying around. We got ninja crows to fight!

All 3 [in unison]: Shut up, GB.

[Never-the-less, the cats leap to their feet moments later.]

Speedy: Well, where are they? Don't tell me they just disappeared.

GB [points to a shady spot by the Palace]: There they are, hiding in the shadows. They're launching sneak attacks to take out the palace guards. The other attacks must've been a diversion.

Polly: What do we do? If we don't stop them soon, the Palace will be left undefended.

Speedy: No time to think of a decisive plan. Let's just go for a full frontal assault. [The others nod in agreement.] Ready? Let's go!

[The four of them dash towards the crows hiding spot. They get there just in time to prevent another guard from being ambushed. The guard turns at the sound of the struggle and finally notices the crows getting the pants beaten off of them by Speedy and the others. One crow with which Romeo is fighting manages to momentarily get the upper hand by tossing a flashbomb, temporarily blinding him. Taking advantage of the situation, the crow grabs Romeo's sword and makes a run for it.]

Romeo [blinking as his vision returns]: Hey! Come back here with that! [runs after the crow.]

Speedy: Rom, wait up! [He and the others try to follow but the remaining crows block their way and slow them down. By the time they break through, Romeo and the other crow are gone.]

[Cut back to the Pizza Parlor. As promised Fran, Ruth, and Jeff, are handling the customers. Suddenly, Guido comes bursting into the parlor.]

Guido: It's ok, I'm alive! [pleading] Please don't kill me!

Francine (relieved): Guido, you're back! Are you ok?

Guido [a little surprised Fran's not angry]: Yeah, I'm fine.

Ruth: We thought you might've been kidnapped or you were in the hospital.

Guido: No, I'm ok. I was with Lucille.

Jefferson: Aha! I knew it all along!

Guido: Shut up, Jeff. [to Fran] Where are the others?

[Francine gives Guido the news. Cut back to Romeo. He follows the crow all across Little Tokyo, finally arriving at the secret lair of Fat Bunny Costanza.]

Romeo [cornering the crow]: I want my sword back, featherhead!

FB [in the shadows]: Go ahead, give it back to him. It won't do him any good.

[After a slight hesitation, the crow tosses Romeo his sword. Romeo catches it by the handle, as FB steps out of the shadows.]

FB: Do you know whom I am, Mr. Anchovy?

Romeo: Yeah, I know. You're the slimeball who took over for Seymour Cheese.

FB: There's no need to get insulting, Mr. Anchovy. I've been watching you for a while, and I'm impressed with your skill. I want you to come work for me.

Romeo: I don't work for scum. I'm a HERO for hire, not an immoral mercenary.

FB: You misunderstand. That wasn't a request.

[FB sprays a can of chloroform at Romeo. In an instant, Romeo falls to the ground unconscious.]

FB: You're going to help me, Mr. Anchovy, whether you want to or not. [to the Crow] Tie him up in the back room and bring me his helmet. I'm going to make a few modifications.

[Cut back to the Pizza Parlor. Speedy and the others have just arrived home after attempting a search for Romeo. GB has returned to waiting on tables w/ Jeff, and Ruth is out on delivery. Having heard the reason for Guido's disappearance, Speedy is surprisingly annoyed. He and Polly are confronting him, with Francine coming to his defense.]

Speedy [upset] (agitated): Nice going, Anchovy. While you were out knocking boots with Lucille we had a potentially major crisis here!

Guido (annoyed): Oh, give me a break Speedy. Ninja Crows don't constitute a potentially major crisis, not even a couple dozen of them.

Speedy: When they're that close to the palace, they do. Besides, your brother still hasn't made it back yet.

Francine: Speedy, why don't you just cut him a break! He feels bad enough about Romeo.

Speedy: Well, he should've been there! You've never seen me get distracted like that.

Polly [clears her throat]: Speedy, what about the time you-

Speedy [interrupting]: That's beside the point. Anyway, I've always come through in combat situations.

Guido [snaps]: Well, so have I! I have always been there for you guys. This is the one and only time I've slipped, and now my brother is missing because of it. I don't need you to tell me how badly I screwed up!

[Guido storms back to his room, with Francine following. Polly turns to Speedy.]

Polly: Nice going.

Speedy: What? I would think you'd be a little more supportive. You never cut me any slack when I fell down on the job with the Pizza Parlor.

Polly: Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm annoyed with him too. But I also agree with them that he doesn't need any additional grief from us. He's already worried sick about his brother.

Speedy [sighs]: Yeah, well, now he knows how I felt when he was missing.

Polly [sympathetic]: Oh Speedy, is that what this is all about?

Speedy (depressed): Yeah. Guido's one of my best friends, and I've known him since we were kittens. I know I didn't look worried earlier, but after what happened to you last month I was terrified at what might've happened.

[Polly hugs Speedy tightly and is about to say something comforting, when the doors open and Romeo walks in. He appears to be fine, if slightly dazed.]

GB: Romeo! What happened, where were you?

Romeo [confused]: I- I don't remember. I can't remember anything. I was following the crow to try and get my sword back and then- I was standing in front of the parlor.

GB: Weird. Maybe you should sit down.

Ruth: I'll go get Guido and Fran.

[Romeo sits down at a table and Ruth walks back to Guido's room. Cut to FB's secret lab. Elliot is overseeing the construction of a new robot, when FB comes to check on the progress.]

FB [walks up to Elliot]: So Elliot, is everything ready for tonight?

Elliot: Absolutely. I'd thought we'd start off with soup and a light salad and then see how we feel after that.

FB: Not the dinner, you fool! The robot!

Elliot: Oh, of course. It should be ready momentarily. And what about our friend Romeo Anchovy?

FB: I outfitted his helmet with a little "gift" from our good friends at Chronos International. While the cats are busy dealing with the mechanized monstrosity, I'll activate it, and then the fun will really start!

Elliot: And with a little luck, we'll be rid of those pesky pizza cats in time for ABC's Whose Line is it Anyway marathon!

FB: You're much to fond of that Drew Carey, Elliot. [pause] I must go now. I have pressing business at the palace. Just alert me when the robot is finished.

Elliot: As you wish, your Fatness.

[FB leaves and Elliot turns back to the building of the robot. Cut back to the parlor, later that night. The cats are closing up the parlor for the night. Romeo seems to be fully recovered, but is still sitting at the table silently. He looks up to see his brother Guido coming over to the table.]

Guido: Hey, are you sure you're all right?

Romeo: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm a little pissed that I can't remember anything, but other than that I'm fine.

Guido [uneasy]: Good. [pause] Listen, I'm sorry about getting burned up the other day. You know, before I, uh, went out.

Romeo: Oh, don't worry about it. You had a right. I stepped over the line.

Guido [agreeing]: Yeah, you did, but I forgive you. Anyway, I still think I over-reacted. [extends his hand] So, are we friends again?

Romeo [takes his hand]: Of course. [Guido and Romeo shake, and then give each other one-armed, brotherly hugs. After a moment, they pull away and are quiet. Finally, Romeo breaks the silence.] So, if you're determined to hang on to Lucille, can I have Francine?

Guido [chuckles]: Man, you never quit, do you?

Romeo [same]: Nope.

[Cut over to Speedy and Polly.]

Speedy: Nice to see those two are getting along again.

Polly: Yeah. Maybe you should take a hint from Guido.

Speedy [sighs and looks at her]: I was kinda rough on him earlier, wasn't I?

Polly: Just a little.

[Speedy pauses for a moment, then kisses Polly on the forehead and walks over towards Guido. Before he can say anything to him though, the front of the restaurant explodes inward. Stunned, everyone inside looks out at a 12-foot tall robot that resembles a bulging muscled, spiked back bat winged demon. Smoke bellows from its nose and mouth, and in two of its hands it grasped a fiery pitchfork.]

Speedy [picking himself off the floor]: What the devil?

Guido: This must be Fat Bunny's doing. Seymour doesn't have the funds for something this extravagant right now.

Polly [rushes over]: Certainly gutsy of him to try and attack us in our own headquarters! [The three of them scatter as the robot tosses its pitchfork, which explodes when it hits the spot they were standing. In an instant, a new pitchfork materializes in its hand. Polly helps Speedy up.] Are you ok?

Speedy [as the others rush over]: Yeah, I'm fine. [to everyone] Come on guys. Let's teach this bag of hot air what happens when you mess with the Pizza Cats on their home turf!

Others: Right!

[The group scatters around the devil-bot and one by one begins to rush towards it and attack it. The devil-bot exchanges its pitchfork for a large fiery sword and manages to parry most of the cats' attacks, even as they begin to team up on it. When at last it seems as though they are about to overpower it, the robot lets loose a fiery nova blast, which spreads from its body like an explosion. The intense attack drives our heroes back and sets most of what's left of the parlor on fire.]

Francine [standing up, surveying the devastation] (upset): DAMN IT! That thing's destroying everything!

GB: What are we going to do? We can't get past that thing, and we'll be roasted if we stay here.

Romeo: Looks like that last blast took a lot out of it. Can you guys keep it busy while I charge up my finisher?

Guido: Depends on how long you need, bro.

Romeo: Not long. Just make sure I get a clear shot when I'm ready.

Speedy: Ok, here's what we're gonna do. Polly, Guido, Fran, and myself will keep that thing distracted, and see how much damage we can do. Romeo, you get charged and ready to finish that thing off. Ruth, you and Jeff see if you can get to the fire extinguisher before this blaze gets really out of control. GB, while we're dealing with the devil-bot, you fly as fast as you can to Spritz's place and get him back here quick, ‘cause the fire extinguisher probably won't be enough.

Others: Got it.

Speedy: Ok. Polly, Guido, Fran, we're up first! Ready... go! [Everybody disperses to do their job.]

[Speedy charges at the robot with his sword raised. As he reaches it he delivers a powerful slash, but the robot blocks it with his sword. Speedy continues to attack in front while Guido flips over the robot's head and slashes at him from behind. Guido scores a few hits on the robot's unprotected backside, but its thick armor absorbs most of the attacks. Polly and Fran go for opposite sides, each running up a non-flaming portion of the wall and then pushing off towards the robot. Upon reaching it they slash it, the momentum of the falls adding to the force of their attacks. Two large gashes appear in the robot's armor where they struck, and all four cats begin to focus their attacks on these weak spots, slowly wearing it down.]

[While Speedy and the others continue their assaults, Romeo prepares his finisher. He holds his longer samurai sword straight up in the air and his shorter sword horizontally against the longer one, forming a cross. White energy begins to flow around the crossed swords, building with each moment. Finally, as the energy reaches critical mass, he lowers the swords so that the longer one points at the robot, keeping them crossed.]

Romeo [shouting]: Ok guys, clear a path! [The Speedy and the others look back briefly at Romeo, then jump out of the way.] HOLY CROSS CUT!

[Scraping the swords together, Romeo releases the cross-shaped blast at the robot. Although the robot only appears to be demonic, the blast has the same effect on it one would imagine it would have on a real demon: it blows it back to hell. In moments there is nothing left but a smoking crater.]

Speedy [low whistle]: Nice move Rom.

Romeo [coughs]: Thanks, Speedy. Now how about we get out of here before we die from smoke inhalation?

Guido [also coughs]: Good idea. Jeff, Ruth, are you guys doing ok with the fire extinguisher?

Ruth: **cough** It's no good, Guido! **cough, cough** The fire's spreading **hack** to quickly!

Polly: Just clear away some flames from around the door! That way we can get out!

[Ruth and Jeff manage to extinguish the flames near the doors just long enough for everyone to escape. Once outside, they stare dejectedly at the inferno.]

Jefferson [comforting Fran] (concerned): Are you ok?

Francine: I'll be fine, Jeff. [turns back to the parlor, depressed] What do we do now?

Speedy: There's nothing we can do. We just have to hope GB gets back with Spritz before everything is destroyed.

Polly: At least everyone's ok.

[Speedy nods in agreement and hugs Polly. Cut to FB's hideout, where FB and Elliot are watching the scene on a video monitor. FB has a remote control device in his hand. The monitor focuses in on Romeo.]

Elliot: Now, sir?

FB: Yes, Elliot. [presses the button] Now.

[The scene quickly cuts back to the cats, with Romeo standing beside his brother. A split second later he clutches his head and howls in agony.]

Guido [caught off guard]: What the- Rom, what's wrong? Rom! Romeo!

[Romeo falls to his knees, still clutching his head. Guido goes over to him to see what's wrong. The others gather around to see what the heck is going on. As Guido leans over to see if his brother is ok, Romeo seems to recover. Then, without warning, he stabs Guido in the side with his sword. Guido opens his mouth as if to shout, but no sound comes out. Shocked, and in pain, he slumps to the ground. The others stare in horror. Ruth is the first to snap out of it.]

Ruth [dashing towards Romeo, her sword raised]: Bastard! He's your brother!

[Ruth slashes at him with her sword, but he effortlessly blocks her. With a powerful counterstrike, he knocks her unconscious. Speedy struggles to hold Polly back, when Romeo turns to the rest of the group. They assume their battle poses, ready to take him on. However, before Romeo can attack a powerful spray of water knocks him to the ground. Looking up, Speedy and the others see Spritz being carried towards the scene by GB.]

Spritz [to Speedy as he and GB land]: What's up with him? We saw him attack Guido and Ruth.

Speedy: I don't know, he just went berzerk. Can you handle the fire, before it gets out of control?

Spritz [looking at the blaze]: It might be a little late for that, but I'll see what I can do.

[Spritz turns on the water jets and lets loose on the fire. In a few minutes (much quicker than anticipated actually) the blaze is under control and moments later it's out. Speedy and the others stare at the burnt husk of the parlor, wondering if it can be repaired and how much, if any, of their personal possessions survived. They don't stare very long, however, for Romeo has recovered and rises to his feet.]

Speedy: I don't know what's come over you, Romeo, but you're going to pay for hurting Guido!

Romeo [in a french accent]: I'm afraid not today, Cerviche! We shall meet again, and next time none of you shall escape. Until then, adieu Pizza Cats!

[Romeo tosses down a flashbomb and disappears. The remaining Pizza Cats look at each other, puzzled.]

GB: What's with the french accent?

Speedy: Don't ask me. Come on, we need to get Guido and Ruth to a hospital. Somebody call an ambulance.

[Cut to Little Tokyo General Hospital. Speedy and the others are talking with a doctor outside Guido's room.]

Doctor: Your friend is very lucky that no vital organs were pierced, but he has lost a lot of blood. It'll probably be about two or three weeks before he's healed enough to be discharged. We'll give him something for the pain in a little bit and after that he'll probably want to get some sleep.

Polly: What about my sister? Is she ok?

Doctor 1: Ah yes, Ruth Esther. She's suffered a mild concussion, nothing serious. However, she had a little bit of trouble taking our advice on getting some rest.

[Cut to Ruth's room. Ruth is trying to get to the door, but is being held back by about four nurses and three doctors.]

Ruth [enraged]: LET ME AT HIM! WHERE'S THAT BASTARD ROMEO! I'LL KILL HIM, I'LL KILL HIM! LET ME GO!

Nurse 1 [rushing in the room with a needle]: I've got the sedative, doctor!

Doctor 2: Don't just stand there you fool, bomb her! [The nurse runs over and injects Ruth.]

Ruth: I'LL KILL HIM! LET ME AT HIM! HE [starts getting drowsy] won't get away with this... Let me go... I'll get him... Let me go... Heeeeey, this is kinda fun… Wheeeeee… [Falls asleep.]

[Cut back to Polly]

Polly: Ruth always was very stubborn. I'm sorry if she was any trouble.

Doctor: We've had worse. <Though not in recent memory...> We'll be giving Mr. Anchovy his medicine soon, so if you want to see him before he gets tired you should do so now.

[Speedy nods and enters the room with Polly and Fran. Guido is lying on his side, in bed and in a lot of pain.]

Guido [grimacing]: Hi guys.

Speedy, Polly, and Fran [in unison]: Hi.

Speedy: Are you ok?

Guido: Yeah, it only hurts when I look at pretty girls. Unfortunately, the nurse is a knockout.

Polly [smiling]: Nice to see you're keeping a sense of humor.

Speedy: By the way, has anyone called Lucille?

Francine: I did. I heard an explosion on the other end of the line when I told her, but other than that she seemed to take it well. [to Guido] She said she was sorry, but she can't make it to the hospital until later this week.

Guido: I'll wait for her. I've got nothing else to do.

[The nurse enters with a syringe.]

Nurse: Ok, Mr. Anchovy. Time to take your medicine.

Guido [annoyed]: Finally. Just give me the stuff, I'm in pain here.

[Ignoring him, the nurse puts the medicine in his IV pump.]

Francine [to Speedy and Polly]: Why don't you guys find a hotel to stay at, like Jefferson did. I'm gonna stay here with Guido tonight.

Speedy: Ok, Fran. I guess we'll see you tomorrow. [Polly leaves. Speedy is about to follow, but turns around.] Listen, Guido… I’m sorry about earlier alright? You’re not a screw up.

Guido: [already sleepy] Oh… Don’t worry about it, Speedy.

Speedy: [nods] Ok. Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.

[Speedy exits. A short while later we see him at a pay phone, making a reservation at a hotel. Eventually he hangs up and looks around for Polly. He finally finds her at the infancy ward, looking at the babies.]

Speedy [walks up behind her]: What's up, Pol? Something on your mind?

Polly: Oh, not really. I was just looking at these babies, thinking about what it would be like if we had one.

Speedy [surprised]: I never knew you were so maternal. Do you really think you want kids?

Polly: I don't know. Maybe someday. I'm not sure how that would work out now, with us as Pizza Cats.

Speedy [smiling]: Well, maybe someday when the city no longer needs us, I'll see what I can do.

Polly [playfully punches him]: You little pervert! Let's get out of here, this place is giving you ideas.

[Laughing, the two of them make their way to the elevator.]

[Fade Out]

In the next episode of SPC: New Millenium

Seven [said over footage of Guido checking out of the hospital]: With Guido still recovering from his injuries and the pizza parlor in charred ruins, the Pizza Cats are in desperate need of a vacation. [shot of the cats meeting with Big Al] Fortunately, they are about to get one as Big Al makes arrangements for our heroes to have a little R&R, courtesy of their western counterparts the New York Pizza Cats.

[Shot of Speedy and the others being met by the NYPC at the airport.]

Sundance: Howdy guys! Welcome back to the Big Apple.

Seven [shot of FB and Elliot in NY]: Unfortunately for both clans of cats, Fat Bunny soon arrives in New York to strike an alliance with Seymour Cheese's cousin: Sir Chester Cheddar, the arch nemisis of the NYPC.

[Cut to Sir Chester Cheddar shaking hands w/ FB {Sir Chester Cheddar resembles his cousin, but in a business suit, w/ a mustache and monocle.}] Together, the two villains hatch a sinister conspiracy with the shadowy Chronos International that they hope will spell doom for both teams of heroes.

[Cut to assorted scenes of the SPC and NYPC walking around New York.] Meanwhile, unaware of the danger lurking ahead, the Samurai Pizza Cats attempt to relax and enjoy themselves. [Shot of Francine talking with her old boyfriend Bucky, and then with Guido.] Little do they know that they themselves are setting into motion events that will change their lives forever.

[Shot of Guido and Francine, on the dance floor of a club, dancing to the chorus of Don Henley's New York Minute.]

Join the Samurai Pizza Cats as they discover for themselves just how much can change, in A New York Minute, Episode 5 of SPC: New Millenium.

Guest Voices

Scott Cerviche- Wayne Knight

Walter Massey- Guru Lou

Chris Logan- Kevin Kline

Regular Cast Voices

Speedy Cerviche/ GB/ Meowzma O'Tool- Rick Jones

Guido Anchovy/ Spritz T. Cat/ Bat Cat/ Jerry Atric- Terrance Scammel

Polly Esther/ Polly Andry- Sonja Ball

Francine/ Carla- Pauline Little

Ruth Esther- Lori Petty

Al Dente`/ General Catton- A.J. Henderson

Princess Violet/Lucille Omitsu- Susanne Glover

Seymour "Big Cheese" Cheese- Dean Hagopian

Don "Fat Bunny" Costanza- Ted Lewis

Elliot Durly- John Mahoney

Romeo Anchovy- Rob Paulson

Josie Omitsu- Jackie Farrel

Jefferson Manx- Ted McGinley