Roger was glad that Susanne's head was on his shoulder. Between their connection and the sheer pain in her voice, he almost felt as though he could cry. He could feel her confusion and fear, and there was nothing he could do about it. Even if he were to tell her the story of her life, she still wouldn't remember it as her own. But the question wasn't so much what her life had been before, but why she couldn't remember and how she could get her memories back. And he knew she didn't expect an answer.

He shifted so that he could still sit on the bed but lean against the wall, and continued to hold her. Her crying abated, and her breathing became slow and regular. He almost thought she'd gone back to sleep when she spoke again.

"Does this happen to all the Otaku?"

"Yes," he answered after a moment's debate. The Council had been adamant that Guardians not divulge any information such as this to their Otaku, but he figured he was already in enough trouble. "After so long -- and it varies between Otaku -- all everyone will remember is their life as an Otaku."

"Oh." Pause. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

Her voice wasn't angry or accusing, just... pained. And that hurt worse than anything else. "What would you have done, had you known?"

She was silent for a time. "I don't know. Is there a reason why it happens?"

"Your purpose is to fight for your Bishounen. Any previous ties or whatever might only get in the way. You cease to be the person you were before and become the Otaku." He felt like he was quoting directly from the handbook. He was surprised he could still remember it all.

"So... if I cease to be the person I was before, if I cease to be Susanne, then who am I?"

"You are Hotohori no Otaku."

"That's my name?"

"Rhiannon."

"What?"

"Your name. Rhiannon."

"That sounds familiar..."

"It was your name long before it was a song."

She searched her memory, or what was left of it. Surprisingly, she remembered much. Not memories of her own life, per se, but things she had learned. She could probably still pass all her exams... "That song came out before I was born, didn't it?"

Roger nodded.

"Then how was it my name first?"

"I'm not sure if this'll work... but maybe it will. You remember only your life as an Otaku. I don't see why you wouldn't remember all of them."

"All of them? What?"

"Think back as far as you can."

"I remember... Celly... throwing stuff at me... she hit my friend..."

"Further."

Her brow furrowed in concentration. Further? London... very hazy memories... a bus ride, bumping into that cute guy -- what was his name? Andy... Further?

Fighting, the glaive in her hand, her opponent unfamiliar. This was new. Also very hazy, though. What was happening? Who was this girl she was fighting? The other girl was very good... but not good enough. In her mind, Susanne saw herself knock the other girl's sword away, and...

Susanne's eyes shot open, her face pale. "Roger..."

"Do you remember?"

"What was that?"

"Do you see anything else?"

Slowly, she closed her eyes again, almost afraid of what she might see. A different opponent again. She was good. Very good. They were almost evenly matched. Susanne could feel the frustration as her opponent blocked her every move, never letting her get a good chance. This time, it was the opponent who prevailed.

Again, Susanne opened her eyes, staring into her Guardian's. "Please, don't make me see any more," she begged.

"I don't know what you saw."

"But... the connection..."

"I was not your Guardian then. I didn't even know you. In fact, the last time Rhiannon fought, I wasn't even alive."

Susanne considered that. "So... I keep coming back to life, with the sole purpose of being an Otaku."

"Pretty much. You've had a few peaceful lifetimes, though."

"Okay, and... in each lifetime I had a different Guardian?"

"More or less. Sometimes Guardians are reincarnated, as well."

"Guardians die with their charges?"

Roger sighed. This was something he didn't really want to get into. "Not officially, no."

"So..."

"It's not uncommon for a Guardian to die soon after his charge."

"Why?"

"They have devoted their lives to protecting their Otaku. Many of them see themselves as failures if their Otaku is defeated."

"So they... oh, god." She unconsciously held him a little tighter. "But not all of them, right?"

"No, not all."

"Have you ever been a Guardian before?"

"No."

"Has any of the others?"

"Well, Dionysus, obviously... though that is a little more complicated than a simple Guardian-Otaku relationship there. Um... I'm not sure, actually. I'm fairly certain Zeke and Kell are new, and I'd guess that Anaera's Guardian has been with her the whole time. Orion... I can't say offhand. He might be one of the ones who had a previous Otaku. And I don't know enough about the others."

Susanne turned so that she was leaning back against Roger and looked around the room. It hadn't even occured to her to think about their location til this moment. "Roger, where are we?"