Meredith stopped in the middle of Zeke's dream.

"What is it?" Kristsi had been enjoying the flourescent tye dyed effect on the dream, and trying to think of the right music to accompany it.

"I just felt something awful... I think it was my connection to Sus. It was really bad, but it all seems to be okay now."

"You sure? Maybe we should go find her."

"Naw." The blonde wasn't worried at all. "She's okay, although I have no clue where she is. No, this is too much fun. But I do suppose I should get some sleep."

"Yeah, good idea." Kristsi pulled the unlikely pair out of Zeke's dream. He was muttering something indistinguishable, and the girls stifled their giggles as well as they could.

The differences in these two girls could be seen at bed time. Kristsi had a routine; removing contacts, washing her face, folding her clothes and putting them away. She folded down her bedding and got into bed after some reading with her glasses on. She pulled the covers tight around her, and was out quick.

Meredith seemed to follow no such routine. She wandered around, eventually getting into her PJ's brushing her teeth. She did shut the light out and cover the crack in the bottom. She seemed to be anal about the wiredest things, and one was light when she was going to bed. She slept through most anything and could sleep anywhere, anytime. But she just didn't like light when she was forcing herself to sleep.

Meredith woke disoriented, as usual. Zeke was gently shaking her awake.

"Meredith, wake up." He waited a moment for her to get her bearings, and to rub the sleep out of her eyes. This took longer than it did for most people, but Meredith was dead to the world when she slept. "I've just come from a Guardian's meeting with the Council. I'm afraid I have bad news."

"C'mon, Zeke, don't mess with me like that this early in the morning... confusing a blonde is bad enough. You don't have to do it at the butt crack of dawn!" It was hardly dawn... closer to ten in the morning, but Zeke wasn't laughing.

Meredith was instantly sober. "What is it, Zeke? It can't be that bad. I mean, it's not like someone died."

There was no point in drawing it out, and Zeke tended to be blunt anyway. "Susanne's out of the game. Nyx shot and killed her yesterday." Zeke contunued despite Meredith's reaction. "Roger then killed himself after he saw that Susanne was dead." He mercifully stopped.

It wouldn't have mettered if he had continued. Meredith wasn't listening. She laid back down on her bed and began muttering to herself. "She can't be dead. No, I'd know if she were dead. There's got to be some big mistake. Something happened, I felt that, but she's not hurt, not dead. She's okay. Nothing's wrong, I know-"

"Meredith, listen to me." Zeke grabbed her shoulders and held her tight. "Look at me. She's dead. You've got to believe me."

"How can I when my connection to her is still intact? I would be able to FEEL it if she died. She didn't, I tell you!! She couldn't have!"

Meredith was growing hysterical and was very near tears. Kristsi had been up for a while, and she and Kell looked on, understanding her grief, but not the staunch denial. Kell had told Kristsi earlier that morning, and it seemed hard to accept, but Kristsi barely knew Susanne. She was a little more distanced, and had just quietly accepted that Susanne was gone. She'd miss her, but not quite like Meredith would.

Kristsi walked up and gently pushed Zeke away. She sat down next to Meredith and hugged her. Meredith began to cry, and buried her face in the small shoulder offered to her. The two Guardians watched in amazement. It didn't take long to calm her down, and soon Meredith was stable enough to leave her to her thoughts.

*Could Susanne really be dead?* She had told everyone she believed it, but it just didn't mesh. Everything meshed... when it was for real. This just didn't. She had downplayed the ripple in the connection she had felt yesterday, but she had sensed some very real pain-- very sharp and intense pain, but only for a moment. *It could have been anything, even just a stubbed toe... okay, a broken toe. But not D...* she couldn't even think it.

*Sus, where are you!!!* Her thoughts cried out in frustration and grief. It was like that day... that very faint and distant day when she had been somewhere all alone... the airport. Only then it was fear and frustration. She didn't expect it to do any good this time.

She couldn't solve the paradox, couldn't mesh the events in her head, so she turned to something that did make sense. *Nyx.* The word seemed to send sparks shooting through her. *It's all a game. A game where people love, where people get hurt, where your best friends die at the hands of a madwoman. I suppose I'll have to kill her now, but what's the point? It's all a game... and I don't even remember why I'm here!*