The inquiring mind’s mini-guide to taking over the universe.

This guide will teach people that want to know how to conquer the universe successfully. Over this guide, you will learn ways to be successful monarch, and you will look at ways how not to act, like others who have tried to take over but miserably failed. By the way, do no take this seriously. This is meant to be humorous. The guide will teach as follows (an outline):

I. Considering your options
II. How to act as an upcoming ruler
III. Where to get loyal henchmen
IV. What to do when a henchman is insolent
V. How to penetrate your enemies
VI. After you have succeeded
VII. Closing thoughts before you begin

I. Considering your options:
Before you begin, your quest for the galaxy, you must think of these options. First, you must ask yourself, am I ready to conquer the universe? Then if you respond yes, then you must ask yourself, will I lose control like Chaos? Or will I stand my ground and not be defeated by that pesky Sailormoon? It is risky. You must consider your opponents. There are a lot of warriors out there. Ask yourself, do I have the power to defeat my enemies? If you respond no, you better back out, before you will get crushed. The opponents you might be fearful of are the Sailor Senshi. Sailormoon was able to defeat Chaos, really kicking butt. Chaos was so close in taking over the universe, and what happened? Sailormoon kicked her *censored* ^_^. But if you feel up to the challenge, by all means, who is going to stop you from fulfilling your dreams in conquering the galaxy.

What else are you interested in? What if you can’t rule the world. Well, here’s an idea. Run for the presidency of the United States. If you become the president, you practically have all the power you need. You basically run the whole show in the United Nations and NATO. Well, take Bill Clinton, for example, he committed adultery several times during office, and was impeached and yet, was not removed from office. So if he can get away with a crime like that, so can you. And hey, he even kept his marriage alive. Dictating a country is simple enough, rather than taking over the whole galaxy, ne?

II. How to act as an upcoming ruler
The only reason why Galaxia did not take over the universe was because Chaos could not hold her power over her. But if you are your own person, you have control over your own actions. Many people who have studied taking over the world, applaud Galaxia’s attempt, and came close to ruling the universe. She was very hard, hard as stone. She was emotionless, except for being strict and mad. That is how you should act. In order to get what you want, you must not be soft, and weak. You must strike fear into the hearts of your servants and the people who you conquer. Niccolo Machiavelli once said that a prince must do everything to in his power to maintain power. You have to follow this principle. Look at it this way, would a person follow you because you commanded them nicely (which in some sort, lets them off the hook)? Or would you have a person do your will, because they fear you and are willing to do whatever you please? No matter what you feel, you have to be mindful of your objective, to take over the world. You have to do everything ni your power to accomplish that goal, and that includes sacrificing the lives of others to get what you want. Exactly what Sailorgalaxia/Chaos did.

III. Where to get your loyal henchmen
If you need to get henchmen to do your dirty work, first you need to think about a few things. Most importantly, if you are a worm, and don’t have the power to control others, you have to be a filthy rich person to pay your henchmen. Of course if you are down right mean, you can force anyone to become your henchmen. The perfect contraption to control your subjects would be those nifty bracelets Galaxia wears. Those bracelets are used to control and kill her subjects or opponents. But if you don’t have those things, chances are, you won’t succeed in your quest for world domination. Of course, I couldn’t imagine how you even had any to begin with. ^_^

IV. What to do when a henchman is insolent, or can’t do the job
Well, this refers to the second chapter of this guide. First, you have to be feared, because as Machiavelli says, it is better to be feared than loved. That would help your henchmen to realize that they cannot afford to be insolent, or can’t afford to fail on their duties, so that you would not dispose of them. But what if they still remain insolent, or can’t do the job? Well, if you are tired of putting up with your working environment, then do what Galaxia did. Get rid of your insolent henchmen! Galaxia did that easily, so why can’t you? She had less than helpful henchmen, and they were disposed of. I think that is the easiest way to be rid of the problem, to not experience their bad habits.

What if you can’t kill your henchmen? Then you are just not cut for the job. As said earlier, if you want to hold a high position, please just run for leader of any country. It is easier and quicker, than conquering all of the galaxy. But if it is the galaxy that you must have, then you must not be soft. You have to be serious and you cannot go soft, because only then will people take advantage of you. Stand your ground as Galaxia did, and you won’t fail.

V. How to penetrate your enemies
Well, first, you more likely need to have powers or such to defeat your enemies. If you don’t, back out now! Save yourself the humiliation! But if you do…good…luck. The rest is up to you. Well, the only advice to give is to penetrate your enemies by attacking through them personally. Gets ‘em all the time.

VI. After you have succeeded
Oh my gosh! You have succeeded? Well, not yet maybe. But what do you do after you succeed? Do whatever the heck you want. It’s your galaxy to rule, do as you please. Just don’t tell anyone that I taught you how to conquer the world because everyone will hate me for it. ^_^ But remember, when you have the world in your hands, don’t abuse it so. Work the world in a productive way where everyone will benefit and accept the fact that you have taken over the world. You can work in a way where people won’t be so peeved at you for conquering all of those miles across the galaxy. Besides, you may not be fit to handle a universal rebellion. I mean, how about your henchmen, even though you think the mission is over, it is never over. You have to count on your henchmen to stay loyal, by doing that, once again you need to be cruel to your henchmen and make sure they are loyal to your cause and leadership. You must maintain your leadership, and do whatever you must so that you can maintain your conquer.

VII. Closing thoughts before you begin your quest for the galaxy
So you have read the guide and are ready to begin your quest for the galaxy. If you answered yes, then by all means, go to it! Get the universe you long for, and you must follow all of the directions. If you need any more help for your long journey, and I mean long journey, look to idols for help. In this case you must look up to the people who have almost succeeded in world domination, including the beautiful Galaxia, and all-time idol, Doctor Evil, sworn enemy of Austin Powers. You must remember, taking over the world, is a whole lot easier than taking over the universe. You may never finish your quest and die before you have even started, because that is one big freakin’ universe.

But what if you answer no? Well no one’s surprised. That’s what in fact, all people would say. Come on? Who the heck has powers these days? You know, if you said no, you are doing the right thing, because who the heck is gonna take over the universe huh? Ummmm, no one. The people who responded yes, well, you have to understand, that they are just a bit psycho. But you know, the world had a bunch of crazy psychos.