Sasa Misunomi, Day 1

Sasa still found himself sore after the intense decontamination and examinations. It was incredibly embaressing to be exposed like he was in front of them, to be poked and prodded and such. It took a good two hours for it to finish up, but at least he was finally in the TRAM and on his way to his new home for the next few months. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope for him here. Maybe there was a way out and he could salvage a sane adolescence out of the disaster it was turning out already. His own father rejecting him, classmates dealing out no end of harrassment over him "wearing the wrong uniform" and such, the list went on and on in his head. He had his doubts, but when you're at rock bottom, you can only go up, right?

He stood at the foot of his new home and sighed. It was advertised to him as something no less than than a hotel suite, but he groaned trying to find a way to open up the door with his hands full....

And paid little attention to the small blue haired girl that ploughed straight into him and made his ensemble go flying.....

"Aw geez..I'm...I'm sorry...I..." the girl sputtered as Sasa emerged from the pile of shirts and underwear all over the floor. The girl grinned suddenly and whipped out a camera like an old west gunslinger taking out his .45. "WOW! She was right, there ARE boys coming into the place! And cute ones t'boot!" She snapped a quick picture before Sasa could react and retreated down the hall triumphantly. He looked around, the "cute" comment notwithstanding, and was angry again. His whole life possessions were helter skelter on the floor and he had the duty apparently of cleaning it all up himself. He bent down to start regathering his clothing and his dignity.

"Mind if I help?" A voice said. At first, Sasa thought it was the blue haired girl come back to apologizing from running over him, but when looked up with a come back, he saw it WASN'T the same girl...it was a girl, yes, and a lovely one at that. She was a little taller than Sasa was, with a sparkling set of blue green eyes, perfect neck length hair, and a pale skin tone. Her body was symeticral and perfect, it seemed, not overdone or riciculously buxom in any area....

"I'm so sorry...Carla get's a little...you know...carried away like that..." the girl said.

Sasa snapped out of his intoxicating trance. The girl was so tough to lock out of his gaze..."...ummm...right...I..well..."

"She didn't hurt you, did she?"

"Me?! Oh no, no, not at all...though she did get an unwanted snap shot of me..."

The girl sighed. "that's Carla..always such a flirt. She was so hard to control when she heard that there were boys coming here."

"You mean, there wern't any before?"

"Not if you count the security guards and doctors..but none near our age, no..." The girl sealed up the luggage and set it to the side, looking at the closed dormatory dorm. "Hmmm. Security hasn't unlocked your room yet, so you still don't have your key." She looked around, and picked up the luggage again. "Listen, you can kick your heels up in my room until they get yours unlocked."

Sasa nodded enthusiastically...ANYTHING to get another look at this beautiful girl! He remembered the strange feelings he got when he first began to look at the girls in his nieghborhood. He associated so well with them early on in life, and fit in so nicely with them, but now he was seeing them in such a stranger light. And this....err... "Do you have a name?" he suddenly blurted.

"Miyami Aya" she murrmured.

"I'm Msunomi...S..Sasa..." he said. Wow,m even her name sounded lovely....

She took a few steps down the hall and dug out a card from the jeans she had on. She slid it across an unassuming box to the right of the metal door. With a soft "beep" the door slid open and he followed Aya into her room.

It wasn't much to look at, really. White schemes, with just a few knick knacks on the coffee table, a stack of notebooks, posters of a few 80's groups, and her H.E.S. system Sasa looked around curiously. He had never been in a girls room before. He kind of thought that it would be all pink or something.

"Hope you like Sprite.... it's all I have.... I tend to stay away from anything with too much caffeine..." Judgeing from her deameanor, Sasa believed it.

Not sensing any protests about the drinks, she handed Sasa a can as he sat on the blue fabriced chair. She slowly sipped it as she looked at Sasa for about half the time with her eyes wandering down and up from the floor to the ceiling. Sasa wondered what she was thinking.

Sasa started to become nervous. He was in a room with a pretty girl and she was looking at him, or was she? He couldn't figure out what the deal was with her looking at the floor and ceiling like that. His self confidence lacking he decided he probably made her nervous like he did most everyone else. That was why she wouldn't stay focused on him, she thought he was creepy. Sasa sighed inwardly, having convinced himself that Aya would consider him a freak.

"Did you just arrive? Noa said we would be getting some more participants..." Aya said as he gaze started to wander back towards the ceiling.

Sasa started to respond but then Aya continued before he had the chance.

"Why did they bring you here? Did you volunteer? Did someone else force you, like they did Mitz..." Aya immediately shutted up before she finished the sentence. She sat back quietly awaiting Sasa's answer.

Sasa wasn't sure where to begin, the way the questions had just come at him, and then the way Aya just stopped after mentioning Mitz. Sasa wondered what that was about. Looking at Aya he realized she was waiting for him to answer.

"Oh... um... well they told me that they could help me learn how to control this stupid ability I have." Sasa really didn't want to get into the details of how it drove him nuts that he looked like a girl and that it was all because of that damn power of his that he couldn't make it stop.

"I guess I volunteered so they could help me be normal." Sasa was really saying that he volunteered so they could show him how to look like a boy, so he wouldn't be hurt by everyone making fun of him.

Aya's eyes focused back on Sasa, she grinned just a little bit, "Listen we have a little while before Orientation starts... why don't I show you around when you finish your drink? The place won't seem nearly as scary."

Sasa was delighted at the prospect of going around with Aya, not because he really wanted to see the place, but after all she was a girl, and he was a boy, despite appearances to the contrary!

Aya took another sip and paused... setting the drink down she excused herself to the bathroom. Sasa figured she just needed to go, but instead she emerged a minute later with a bottle of Scope, that smelled very strong...

Sasa was startled. He didn't know if Aya was trying to give him the hint that his breath was bad, or could it be? Was she planning to kiss him!

Sasa, blushed with embarrassment at the thought that she might actually be offering a kiss. Sasa had never kissed a girl before. Of course blushing like he was he looked even more like a girl than usual, this would not help his chances of getting a girl to kiss him.

Without so much as a knock, a tall strong looking woman stepped through the door. She wore a black t shirt and fatigues. It was the first informal outfit Sasa had witnessed since arriving here. She wasn't wearing a name tag, for cryin' out loud, another first. Not even noticing Sasa, she bulled in front of the coffee table and had a seat on the armrest next to Aya.

"Aya sweetie! You Remembered!!" She grinned.

Sasa didn't have a clue what was going on.

"Yeah... still intact Babs... just go easy on it ok? You don't wanna get caught"

"Soooooo friggin what? What can they do, FIRE me?!" The woman laughed loudly and took the Scope bottle. To his horror she DRANK IT! Seeing Sasa's eyes bugged out at the display, she simply smiled and shook her head...

"Not what you're thinkin, doll... it's vodka... 100 proof Russia's finest!" She slapped Sasa on the shoulder playfully... "So Aya, who's the new find here? Ain't seen he...hi..."

Sasa was still trying to figure out what was going on but before he could respond Aya helped him out.

"Him, His name's Sasa .... Sasa, this is Major D'Sangelo..."

Sasa was all set to greet her this time when the Major interrupted.

"Babs, doll, I HATE that military formal crap. Never accomplishes nothin..." She put the open bottle of vodka under Sasa's nose and the impact of the liquid lightning nearly KO'ed him on the spot.

"I THINK Sasa isn't interested, are you?" Sasa shook his head no, that stuff would have clearly put a rhino down for the count ... meaning that "Bab's" must be a helluva drinker. "Besides, I was going to show him around now, get him accustomed to the place."

"Oh yeah, yeah yeah .... not a bad idea..." Babs turned to Sasa and winked, "Say, if you ever need a stiff one, you know, just to relax, just give me a ring...." She gave Sasa a playful slap on the rear.

That of course startled Sasa who already tended to respond to most things like a girl anyway. He couldn't believe she had done that. His expression was about that of a girl who had just gotten pinched on her bottom.

Babs exited leaving Sasa and Aya alone again.

"You have to forgive Barbara... She's a little... what's the word ... loopy. Now, how about that tour?" Aya said putting on her jacket with the name tag. She opened the door and waited for Sasa to follow.

Sasa was a bit disappointed that the mouthwash thing didn't mean he was going to get to kiss Aya but he was thrilled to be able to walk with her. Smiling brightly he followed her out.

The sight at the end of the stairs was quite welcoming. Sunlight poured onto the room as they rounded the staircase and emerged upstairs. Instead of a confined room it was a vast domed in section of the complex. Real grass covered much of the flooring past the staircase. A clear, still swimming pool was on the left, and a small running track to the left.

Sasa looked impressed.

"If you wanna get some sun, you can come up here. If you wanna swim, run, work out, whatever you want. Just as long a security doesn't come up here to add more muscles on themselves.....I kinda like to come up here to practice my bow...."

Puzzlement came over Sasa's face. He found it strange that a pretty girl like Aya would have such a hobby. He associated bows with hunting and killing, not with people like Aya. Of course Sasa never was into weapons of any kind. He never felt any particular interest to do things most boys his age enjoyed. With the possible exception of spending time with pretty girls. He looked at Aya.

Aya sat on one the benches off the way of both the track and the pool. "...all that metal, chemicals...it gets to you sometimes, but looking outside again at the sun or the stars really helps....to forget...things...."

She sighed one more time and got fixated on the outside world beyond, forgetting all about the rest of the complex to show Sasa....the bright light on the plastic dome seemingly getting her to think of something else....

Sasa saw she wasn't talking anymore. He guessed this must be the end of the tour, or maybe she expected him to do something here. Sasa looked around. Well he didn't have a suit for swimming and he wasn't much of a runner so that ruled out the big things one was expected to do in this area.

He spent a few minutes just walking about. He sort of hoped that Aya would say something. He kept looking back at her staring off into the distance. Shortly thereafter Sasa had to remind himself that he didn't stand a chance with a girl like that, or probably any girl for that matter.

Still, he remembered why he came here. If they could just teach him how to control that dumb ability then he could lead a normal life, and have a real girlfriend instead of everyone thinking he was the girl!

Yes, that was it. Sasa convinced himself that this place was going to solve all those problems. With that thought firmly in mind he settled in quietly and admired the scenery around him, namely Aya.

Sasa gulped. He couldn't take his eyes off her for some reason, and he hated himself for it. Ok, so maybe she knew that he wasn't really a girl, that's a good start, but she got so distracted looking outside that she forgot all about him in a near heartbeat.

This was unfortunately hurting Sasa. He wasn't use to being around pretty girls and he wasn't use to being ignored. Most of the time what he would hear were hurtful comments, but at least they accepted his existence. Being ignored felt worse, like maybe Aya didn't even think he was worth paying attention to or ridiculing.

Finally, she turned back around and motioned for him to come forward.

"Sorry I got so distracted. It's just that they keep this field so beautiful, it's hard to take your eyes off of it sometimes. Even if half of it IS fake anyway..." Aya said plainly. "...there's still some things I have to show you...c'mon..."

Sasa wasn't sure what she meant by fake, but it wasn't important enough for him to ask about it and he was still trying to recover from his latest bout of nonexistent self confidence.

She led Sasa around another corridor as they reached the bottom of the staircase. He couldn't get over how much of a MAZE this place seemed to be! At least there were signs pointing to where you wanted to go (or maybe wanted to avoid). And the steel corridors and carpeting changed not iota.

After a long hall of closed and windowless rooms, Aya found a large sliding door where she once again ran her ID tag across the box adjacent to it. Sasa made a mental post-it to NEVER lose that tag on his own jacket. The room was quite unremarkable, only a perfectly squared niche with black carpeting all around and a single beige sofa chair in the center of it.

"This is just where Ms. Kanamemi talks to us if she needs us alone. It's not so bad, really...." the tone of her voice didn't seem to break the level of 'robotic' since Sasa met her, but it seemed to have a brief hint of fear in it. She more than likely should have said "It's not so bad once you get numb to the excruciating pain"

Sasa wondered who Ms. Kanamemi was. He didn't like the reaction he had felt from Aya.

Thinking for a few moments he tried to decide if he should ask her why she was so afraid of this place....

Sasa wondered who Ms. Kanamemi was. He didn't like the reaction he had felt from Aya.

Thinking for a few moments he tried to decide if he should asi Aya.Lpp0½#'™YŠll seperating out half of the room entirely.

"This is our raquetball court. Just got it put in last week at Carla's request. She gives me lessons sometimes, but I can't get it right yet......"

Sasa looked around the court. He had never in his life been on a racketball court. He had never in his life been good at sports. In part it was because he wasn't interested but more often it was because no one would let him play. Requests to play basketball or baseball were met with laughs as they not so kindly informed Sasa that they didn't want a girl on their team.

Aya turned around to Sasa and smiled again..this time not humorously, but warmly....her eyes even started to (Sasa hoped this wasn't a trick of the light...) sparkle just a bit when she did..."...you know, I could always use a partner around my level...Carla's WAY too good for me to play. Whattya say?"

The way she was looking at him and smiling he would have agreed to anything for her. It didn't matter that he had never seen a raquetball court before. If it meant he could spend time with Aya he didn't care if he made a complete fool of himself on the court.

"That would be great!" The glee he felt was evident in his voice.

"tell you what....after your orientation, get into some looser clothing and we'll hit a few rounds together.." Aya replied.

Sasa hadn't been this happy in years. Of course it wasn't like it was a date or anything, but he was going to get to be with a cute girl wearing only a T-shirt and shorts. Even if it wasn't a date it had to count for something.

As Sasa prepared something else to say, he caught the sound of more footsteps in the hallway behind the court. They weren't very heavy, or fast like the myriad of personnel, but softer and lighter. As he turned around, he caught the image of a raggedy looking girl....she seemed about 12, and her hair was a disturbing shade of...white....her eyes were glassy and blank, as if even she had no idea where her feet had taken her. Sasa gulped at the surprising visitor, but before he could react or even say anything to Aya, the girl took a step forward and reached behind her back. Almost as if out of nowhere, the girl plucked a living, writhing and VERY angry cobra snake into her right palm...and held it to Sasa like a macabre gift.......

Sasa blinked in shock. He looked like one of those girls from all those slasher films as he quickly tried to back away.

Tripping over his own feet he fell backwards. Now,he really looked like one of those girls from those films, like after they have been running and they end up tripping over something allowing the bad guy to catch up with them.

Sasa looked up at the snake as if it was Freddy Kruger or Jason just about to chop him up with an axe.

Capping off his performance he screamed. It wasn't just any old scream. It was the sort of scream worthy of any teen actress from any of those horror movies.

A boy's voice shouldn't have been able to hit those high notes like that, but then a boy shouldn't react like a girl either. Sasa, of course did have the voice and vocal range of a girl; and he always reacted like a girl.

Sasa laid on the court with a look of terror on his cute face.

Aya turned around to notice the scene and panicked herself, but it seemed more controlled.

"Mitzi, NO!" she stepped towards her, like a mother that has just caught her toddler about to put it's hand on a hot stove. Sasa gasped in horror as the snake tried to snap at Aya...but it simply faded through her, insubstantially.

"Aya, we heard you scream. Is everything alright?"

Sasa turned bright red with embarrassment. He looked down at the floor. He knew he had messed up again. Not only had he reacted badly but he had screamed like a girl! Heck, they even thought it was Aya screaming rather than him. He was trying to gather the few shreds of diginity he had left to confess to being the screamer.

Aya looked back at Sasa, but much to his relief said nothing about WHO's scream it was. "I'm fine...Mitzi just got out of her room again and startled me...." Aya said exasperated...apparently, this had happened MANY times before

Sasa realized what Aya was doing, covering for him. Even as kind as she was being it was hurting Sasa to realize that this girl was taking the blame for something he had done. And worse yet, she knew that he had screamed like a girl. Sasa's heart sank. Any hope that he had that Aya could care for him, or at the very least just accept him as a boy was fading fast.

"Right" they said dutifully as one of the nurses produced a syringe and jabbed the little girl briefly in the arm with it. She wobbled a little and got dizzy, but the nurse caught hold of her shoulder and began to lead her out.....

Sasa would have reacted startled to the whole syringe bit but he was in the middle of his own emotional crisis.

Aya turned to the still shivering Sasa, closing her eyes as if the whole thing were her fault...."I'm...I'm so sorry.....but Mitzi is a little...skittish when she knows there's new people..." Aya looked back out the hall to the nurses hauling away the now totally out of it child. "..she does things like that to people other than me or Ms. Kanamemi, but she really doesn't mean anything, honest." Seeing him still shaken, Aya gripped him gently by the shoulders..."Sure you're ok? You wanna go lay down? I can always show you around later if you need me to."

Her gentle touch should have been heaven. Sasa, however wasn't able to forgive himself for his behaviour. He had trouble looking up into Aya's face. Her offer to end the tour appealed to him just because he could get away and suffer in private.

Gathering the last little bit of courage he had left he looked up at Aya.

He saw the warmth and concern in her eyes. He had never seen a girl so beautiful in his entire life. In that moment he forgot all about himself and his situation. Lovingly he looked up into her eyes.

"You're beautiful" was what he said. It probably was suppose to have been a thought rather than words, yet he did say it outloud. It took him a moment then he realized he had said it outloud. Sasa turned bright red as he panicked.

"I'm sorry, sorry... I mean I shouldn't have said that... I ..." Sasa was blushing badly as he tried to back peddle and tried to take back his words.

An absolute fear gripped him, this was worse than the snake thing, or the screaming thing, he was afraid he had just destroyed any chance he had at a friendship with the pretty girl he had already fallen for.

Aya hugged him gently and started to lead him out, seeing that he was still shook up. Her touch was very light and careful....though she tried not to think it, Sasa STILL looked like a frail girl that got the scare of 2 lifetimes, to Aya.

Even as rattled as he was he appreciated Aya's gentle hug. Still he could feel his heart beating a mile a minute at the embrace of the pretty girl.

"And don't worry about Mitzi again....like I said, you're new here, and she gets nervous about strangers. Heck, she gets nervous around anyone but me usually. What did she do, exactly?"

Sasa didn't understand why Aya was asking. That snake had bitten her even!

"...well... there was this really big snake around her and..." Sasa wasn't exaggerating from his perception of things this was a man-eater. "...it was *really* mad, it was hissing at me it had a great big head, you know they look like they have gills or something." Sasa was describing a cobra but he really didn't know what kind of snake it was, it just looked like one of those really bad ones they showed on TV. "Then it snapped at me... that's when I fell back on the floor trying to get away." In Sasa's mind at least that was what happened. Sasa hadn't lied about any of it but he wasn't sure why Aya didn't see it. Even if it was an illusion, which Sasa knew a bit about, Aya should have been able to see it.

Sasa decided not to comment further since that might bring up the subject of the scream.

Eventually, the two walked back into Sasa's dorm, and seeing that he was no longer shaking too hard to walk, Aya let go of him and stood in the doorway...

"Just get some rest, ok? Orientation is still an hour from now, and you look like you could use a little time to calm down. I've..I've got to go do something for a little while, but I'll see you after Orientation for that raquetball game if you're still up to it...." Aya looked down for a minute...she still felt bad about what Mitzi did to Sasa. He was a little...different, true, but he seemed a lot more human, more real than anything in this damned undergound steel maze.

"and thanks...f.f...for what you said. I've never...well...really had someone say that..." Aya blushed as she said it, afraid of the reaction she'd get her and took off, apparently to her own unknown duty.

Sasa blinked in amazement. She had blushed. She had blushed because of him. Even more astonishing how could no one have ever have told her she was beautiful before? Sasa knew that every minute of everyday he spent with her he would tell her how beautiful she was, and never get tired of saying it either.

He went into his room.

Looking around he went to face his most hated enemy, the mirror. Yes, sure enough there was that girl looking back at him. With a great deal of focus because he wanted it so badly he concentrated hard on making the shadows go away. He wanted to look like a boy, for Aya.

The problem was his problems ran deeper that his wants. The illusion of being a girl was something automatic and anytime he made any headway in making the illusion go away it just came right back if he didn't devote all of his concentration to making it stay that way.

Annoyed at his failure he did the only thing he could. He grabbed a sheet off the bed and covered up the mirror. Then he went to get ready for orientation.

He found that hanging right below it was a pair of pants, and that got him to sigh with relief. At least they weren't making him wear a skirt like a lot of the schools almost did... As he put it on, he noticed how stiff the fabric was. He'd heard about this on cop shows, the stuff was obviously kevlar woven. Still, he found he could move around easily enough in the outfit without hassle.

Looking up at the time, he saw it was almost 1:30, the time they said he would be in for orientation with Ms. Kanamemi in room 533.

Sasa had a feeling of dread about meeting Ms. Kanamemi. The way Aya had briefly mentioned her and the way she looked when she looked in that room, it caused Sasa's imagination to wonder what they might do in there.

Following the myriad of signs, hit room 533....opening the door, he found that it was the same black room with a single chair that seemed to make Aya so nervous....

This was disturbing to Sasa. It had the feel of a shrink's office. He had been in these things before. It started about the time that the shadowing on his clothing made it look like he was growing breasts. Once they investigated and found that it was a psychological issue they sent him to a shrink. Of course the doctor had never seen anything like that before and thus he explained that Sasa's subconscious was manifesting the appearance of a female because Sasa truly wanted to be a female. Sasa knew the psychatrist was completely wrong about that, but he didn't have a logical reason for what was happening the the whole experience had emotionally scarred him even more.

As Sasa stared into the inky, dim room a woman popped out from behind the corner. She looked to be in her late 20's, and was very pretty with a masterfully braided length of dark blonde hair.

"You're Sasa, correct?" she said soothingly.

"Well....yes...."

"Right on time, kiddo. Just have a seat in that chair and relax. I'll be talking with you in just a minute..."

The place got wierder by the second....first the drunk officer, then the girl with the snake....now he was about to get interviewed like a lab rat! His whole self on display to anyone who was watching....

Sasa tried to focus himself. He was sure that Noa was going to be just like the other shrink. He was sure that very soon she would be blaming him for the weird display that made him look female. And he was absolutely certain that she was going to tell him that he really wanted to be a girl.

Sasa didn't want to be a girl, but whenever they started pushing him about it he did start wondering if his life wouldn't have been a lot easier if he had been a girl. Left in this place with Noa putting those thoughts in his head each day, it wouldn't take long before he would accept what she said, and accept that he should be a girl.

Even before she started talking to him doubts were creeping in. The incident with the scream came to mind. He screamed and they thought it was a girl who had screamed. Sasa looked down. Of course when he did that he saw the interesting ways the light played off of his shirt. It somehow contoured itself molding to create the illusion that he had breasts. Sasa closed his eyes and hoped that this would be over soon.

A soft light clicked on the floor near the chair. It was actually very soothing despite the nervous tension that practically bled off the walls. Another chair was pulled up and Noa emerged from the shadows to sit in it. Her smile was very genuine, though, and her whole presence was very comforting. Sasa wondered what was so bad about her.....

"Did you find everything in your room ok?"

"Hai" Sasa responded feeling a bit better after seeing Noa smiling like that.

"You seem a little nervous about all of this. It's understandable for anyone who's arrived for the first time, bu let me assure you that it's not as bad as it seems, dear. Noone in here wants to hurt you, and we're all only concerned with your well-being. Could you tell me what scares you here?"

Noa's voice was as genuine as she was...but as expected, it was very very patronizing. The way she said "dear" convinced Sasa that the light had made the illusion effective....even though he had on the male uniform, Noa was still talking like she was sitting in front of a 14 year old girl.....

Sasa really wanted to jump out of the chair and yell "I'm a BOY! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A GIRL!"

But of course Sasa couldn't couldn't do that. Sasa was frustrated that the only time he could raise his voice was to apparently scream like a girl. It was also frustrating that he couldn't express himself like a boy, but he just couldn't.

Noa stopped for a minute...then spoke up again.... "Sasa....you seem very frustated about something today...can you tell me what it is?"

Sasa wondered if maybe he should lie to her and tell her it was just because this was all new. He could tell her the snake story and that might be enough to quell any further questions along those lines. But, he was frustrated and maybe this was the chance to clear things up before they went too far. Nervously he spoke.

"yes ma'am..." his voice was very soft, almost a whisper. Bringing up this subject was making him nervous which caused him to shake like a leaf.

"...it's just..." Sasa could feel the emotions welling up inside of him as he struggled to get the words out.

"it's just..." Tears pooled in his eyes and he began to cry.

"I don't want to be a girl." Sasa's words were so soft and weak they could barely be heard. The words also were in direct contrast to the image Sasa was projecting of being a very shy, very nervous, very fragile fourteen year old girl with tears in her eyes.

Sasa couldn't bring himself to ask Noa to please stop speaking to him like he was a girl. Of course it wouldn't have mattered anyway since there was no way that Noa could look at Sasa as anything other than a very frighten young girl.

As tears fell from his eyes he thought he finally understood why Aya hated this room so much.

As the words left Sasa's lips, he felt something strange....the kind of feeling from static electricity on a rug...only it was on his head......small annoying sparks could be felt as he talked, but his emotions had distracted him from that previous annoyance....

"Sasa...you say you don't want to be a girl, right?"

He nodded while being slightly distracted by the strange static electricity.

"Is that why you wanted to come here? You thought we could somehow 'unmake' you one?"

It wasn't how Sasa would have put it. After all he wasn't a girl anyway. Just just wanted the rest of the world to accept that. But he understood what she was saying so he nodded in agreement.

"Sasa, how would you react if I told you that there was little or nothing to unmake at all? That gender is at it's heart a mental thing and not a physical?"

Sasa winced. This was usually the point where the shrink would start telling him that he was creating these illusions because of his subconscious desires to be a girl. So Noa was just another one who was going to try to convince him to accept that his mind was telling him he was really girl. Even still, he had little say in what SHE was saying so he nodded in agreement.

"Sasa, how would you react if I told you that there was little or nothing to unmake at all? That gender is at it's heart a mental thing and not a physical?" Sasa was filled with dread. He didn't realize that even males have estrogen in their bodies. The comment that he had some, and it was high. Sasa didn't understand why he would have estrogin and a bunch of it in him.

"...dramatic manifestion. Really, I do think it's all in your head, Sasa. The mind, after all, does strange things to the body..."

Noa put her hands on his shoulder. He was still shaking violently, and the odd electricity in the air was getting worse....

"Listen, we'll do what we can for you. I'm not going to tell you that there's a magical potion to make it all go away, but we'll try to get this thinking out of your head if you want us to. Deal?"

He was now really confused. In his mind she had told him that there was a physical cause for this but she was saying she could make his thinking go away? So was she saying that she was going to make the illusions go away or was she saying she was going to make him stop worrying about being a girl, and did that mean that he was just suppose to accept being a girl.

If only that damn electricity would go away and let him focus.

After Sasa finished, Noa sat back down, smiling again. "Did you get to talk to any of the other residents yet?"

Finally Sasa focused on the one very nice thing about this place. He felt very much better as a vision of Aya came to mind.

"Yes ma'am, I met a girl named Aya." Sasa said with a blush. Noa wouldn't have to be much of a shrink to tell that Sasa had a major crush on Aya.

"Excuse me..." he said meekly. "I don't think I understand, and why does it feel all tingly in here?"

"It does?" Noa looked up briefly and scowled...she muttered something about some people "..fooling with the controls again..." and dissappeared into the shadows, then coming back...."Ok, that solved that..." Sasa then felt the electricity go away....but what was she talking to back the....

Noa sat back down, smiling again. "Sasa, in order to get the results you seem to want, we're going ot have to convice your mind that you're body is that of a BOYS, and not a girl's. Understand? But in order to do that, we've got to learn what got you into this line of thinking to begin with and fix it from there, ok?

Sasa didn't really like the sound that. On the surface it sounded about right but there were a few words that didn't sit right. The

comment about "the results you *SEEM* to want" made Sasa think that she didn't believe that he was telling the truth about not wanting to be a girl. There was also the thing about convincing his mind that it was a boys body. It again sounded weird. Of course his mind knew that it was a boy's body. After all he could prove it!

Well despite all that she was still claiming they could do something for him. He decided to reserve judgement until he saw what exactly they were going to be doing.

"okay" He said, still quite nervous about all of this. And that comment about having a lot of estrogin in his body hadn't been forgotten. It was still worrying him that he did have that girl stuff flowing around in his body.

"Aya's a good girl. She was our first resident in here, almost 7 months to this day. She's a little quiet at times, but she's been a joy to have here." Noa blinked a bit, knowing what Sasa was thinking...."She's said she's glad to have some new people in here, especially a boy."

Sasa was delighted. Given the way she said it, he wondered if Aya might actually be looking for a boyfriend.

Noa got up, but didn't leave, looking at Sasa seriously.

"Listen, there's one last thing we need to do. You don't have to do anything, just lean back, relax, and close your eyes. All we're doing is something to help you relax a little while you're here, not be as jittery. It will also help us understand, as I've said, why your mind wants your body to think you're a girl... I'll be right here next to you if you need someone or want to stop, ok?"

Nervously, he nodded his consent. He didn't like that, yet again, Noa was saying his mind wanted his body to be a girl's. To Sasa, it was again like she was saying that he wanted to be a girl.

Something wasn't right. Sasa could almost see Aya's face as soon as Noa brought it the subject, but he felt the seat recline back, and the soothing music start up again....he felt a brief tingle, then began to get drowsy....

He started to panic, but Noa had said she would stop. Of course he wondered what it would be that she would stop if she was knocking him out with some kind of drug.

He gave into the feeling of drowsiness with the only reservation that if she lied about stopping he would never trust her again.

He started to panic, but Noa had said she would stop. Of course he wondered what it would be that she would stop if she was knocking him out with some kind of drug.

He gave into the feeling of drowsiness with the only reservation that if she lied about stopping he would never trust her again.

Sasa leaned back and tried to ease up...not easy considering how this room had made him uncomfortable already...Noa's questions, the electric shocks.....it was nerve-wracking. But as soon as Sasa closed his eyelids, he felt a sophmoric air started to resonate. He was still very concious, very active, but his perceptions had altered drastically. Instead of a black room, a brief flash of colors and swirling masses. It was actually quite a respite from the darkened interrogation (for lack of a better word) room. In the haze, he heard Noa's voice again.

"Sasa? Sasa? Can you hear me?"

"Ummmm...sure...I thought you weren't going to..."

"This is all in your mind. Noone else can hear us. That's the whole intention. You just need to think you're answers to me. Nothing we discuss here will go past the two of us unless you want it to."

"How did you get in my mind? How can I hear you?" Sasa asked, confused.

"I know you're very upset about your body and the way it is right now....how long have you noticed this in your self?"

Sasa couldn't remember how far back they actually went but one reoccuring one came immediately to mind. Back when he was very young just barely old enough to talk all the women tell his mom what a precious little girl she had. Sasa didn't understand why she never corrected the ladies... why didn't she tell them that Sasa was a boy?

"Your friends, classmates? Were they supportive? Or just the opposite..."

Images of teasing came to iind. EverythhNç froI not beinç`picket dor spozts teais because they didn't want a girl on their team, hurtful comments about him wearing the wrong uniform. Including once, after gym where someone had stolen his underwear and pants and had replaced them with panties and a skirt.

"What about your family? Did they help you through this? This is an awkward time for anyone, I know, but I imagine that being this way only complicated things. How have they been towards you?"

The image of Sasa's father yelling at him came immediately to mind. He was angry at Sasa because of those stupid illusions. He was yelling that no son of his was going to be a fag. He made demands that Sasa stop making it look like he was a girl and start acting like a man. When Sasa couldn't make the illusions go away his father started dragging him off to see the shrinks.

It was very startling once it occured to Sasa that vague and blurry memories were suddenly as crystal clear as a VHS videotape to him! The perspective was interesting...and scary.....

"Hmmmmmm....I can see now why you don't like seeing psychiatrists, Sasa..." as the thoughts played by like a slideshow...."...they always told you that you wanted to be a girl deep inside. Rather foolish, if you ask me. If you DID after all, want to settle with living as a female, you wouldn't fight it as strongely as you do. No, no, I believe you do want to be a boy now that I look at these memories. It seems, though, that you've been trained to believe just the opposite by the world around you. I think that's where your mind went wrong. There are, after all, many boys with estrogen levels even higher than yours that can lead normal lives as healthy adult males and have normal relations with a girl. So don't think you're beyond hope, Sasa....."

Sasa was relieved. It was certainly the first time a psychiatrist had ever said that it wasn't his fault. It was just the world around him that was causing the problem.

Noa went silent for a minute. The shadows....they seemed to responsible for this whole identity mix-up...if only there was some way to get them to stop...

"Sasa, I think I know at least what we need to start doing. You see, the world discouraged you from proving your masculinity and even actively stopped you. I think that if you were ever given the chance, your mind would eventually get the message to stop making you look and feel like a girl and start making you feel like a young man. But you see, when you're here, noone will stop you from doing those things. There's noone here to make fun of you, noone to tease you about your looks, and noone to stop you from doing normal things a boy your age would be doing....."

It sounded too good to be true! Sasa quickly started trying to think of things that a boy should do. It was actually kind of complicated because he was already acting like a boy as far as he knew. The problem seemed to be that even when he was acting like a boy he was percieved as a girl. He was going to have to think about that some more.

The image of Aya replayed on the screen...it was frozen in time, her delicate smile forever enshrined in his mind, and the words 'thank you' coming out of her pale, thin lips.

"See, Sasa? Aya didn't seem to mind, did she?"

Sasa was embarrassed that Noa could see his attraction to Aya. It seemed to be a violiation of his privacy.

The images drifted a little, then started to distort and contract into it'self. Before Sasa knew it, he was again staring at the black walls, Noa opening her eyes as well...

"There. Wasn't so bad, was it?"

Except for the Noa's peeking into his friendship with Aya he was actually overjoyed with how things had worked out. Noa was the first person who knew that Sasa didn't want to be a girl. And she knew because she had seen the proof!

"It wasn't bad at all." Sasa said smiling at Noa.

Noa stood up and scribbled something on a clipboard that lay next to her own chair. She looked back at Sasa and smiled again as she finished whatever she was writing.

"Okay, Sasa. That's all we'll need for today. The rest of the day and night is yours to do as you please. By tommorow, we'll get an actual therapeutic regiment started for you. Just remember that security requires you to be back in your room by midnight, ok?" Noa opened the door for him to go out, never losing that smile. It was a little disturbing, but at least it seemed a lot warmer than the near andriod like manners of the other staff, and by the tone of her voice, Noa really did seem to want to help him out, to get his mind to stop playing light tricks on his body. Apparently, surfing his brain a little gave more insight than even he thought....

Well maybe she wasn't exactly normal but Sasa didn't understand why Aya didn't like this place or Noa. Of course Sasa was still riding an emotional high because someone believed him now, so as far as he was concerned Noa was just short of being a saint. It's too bad they didn't do something about that room however, something to make it less intimidating.

Even the still unmade room of his looked quite welcoming compared to the interview room. At least, he comforted himself, the day could only get better, since he did have a "date" with Aya....

Couldn't it?

Sasa quickly changed out of his uniform. Aya had told him to wear something loose. Of course he always hated wearing loose things because it gave the shadows more to play with. Yet, he did have a date with Aya! Rummaging in his clothes he started wondering if he should wear blue jeans or shorts. Guessing he would have to run around the court shorts would probably work better, even if he hated them because everytime he wore them he got comments about how cute his legs were.

Dressed in a slightly oversized white t-shirt and shorts he knocked on Aya's door. Thoughts still raced through his head about Noa and what she promised, not to mention the very prospect of that room...and how his thoughts were being read and translated like film projector slides, even private moments like that smile Aya flashed him before coming in.

Nonetheless, that was all hot air behind the fridge for now, he had a rendevous! The shirt, for some reason felt abnormally tight on Sasa in the chest region. Looking down, he could see that his chest did indeed look to stick out of the shirt, which was clearly designed for a more flat chested boy. Sasa instantly mashed down on his chest just to make sure this was *just* an illusion. He didn't like the feeling that the shirt was tight. It shouldn't have felt that way, it was plenty big... or at least it would be if he had a chest like normal boy. Sasa peeked down the front of his T-shirt to make certain nothing had *developed* to cause his T-shirt to be tight. Once he was satisfied that he hadn't grown breasts in the last two minutes he checked over his appearance again. His hips, he noticed, also seem to be more defined in the shorts, and his thighs were more lithe and smaller than what they seemed to be in the SWAT pants. He groaned slightly and muttered a quick prayer to Christ, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu or any other god that would listen that Aya didn't notice this.....

She might however have noticed the incredibly cute, pear shape that his bottom took on in those shorts. Most girls would kill to have a derriere that looked like that.

Aya finally opened the door and almost instantly he was remesmerized. She was attractive enough wearing the modest skirt and sweater that the facility made her wear, but seeing her in a similar pair of gym shorts and white t-shirt was something else. He got a full view of what really seemed to make Aya attractive. She was hardly the buxom models that Sasa had been used to seeing on TV, or the waif-thin people that sell jeans and such. Aya seemed to be perfectly normal and symmetrical. Her hair was the right length and perfectly sharp, her chest firm and in place, and a general air of healthy beauty all around her. It really was unlike anything he'd ever seen...

Sasa could feel his heart beating fast as he looked at the beautiful girl. That must have accounted for what was making his shirt feel even tighter. It might even have accounted somehow for the gentle rise of two tiny shadows atop the breasts so evident in his t-shirt.

Aya started down the hall and bade him to follow with the same warm smile. As Sasa caught up with her, she turned to him, the smile gone as quickly as it came. "How did the orientation go?"

Sasa was disappointed that Aya's smile had disappeared.

"It went well, I think." Sasa decided that a detailed account might not be a good idea.

"What did you think of Ms. Kanamemi?"

"She was very nice..." Sasa thought he might have tripped up there. From what he remembered, Aya didn't like Noa, so maybe it was a trick question. "... but, you know I'm not really sure yet." He added trying to save himself in case it was a trick question.

Finally, they reached the door to the courts. Aya ran her card across the box as always and the door slid open, the lights coming on automatically. Aya handed him a raquet and took one of her own as she stood next to him at the end of the court.

Sasa nervously gripped the raquet, it almost looked like he was afraid he might break a nail. As he finally gripped the raquet properly it reminded him he was on a date! A real date! with a real girl! A gentle blush crossed his face as he was giddy with excitement, like a teenage school girl, who just had a really cute guy look at her, would act.

Aya looked at him a little as she bounced the rubber ball aimlessly. She gave him not a mean or mocking look, just a curious one.....but she kept her mouth shut and cleared her throat before speaking again...

"It's real simple, actually. Carla taught me the rules in 5 minutes, but it's hard to get the hang of actually doing." Sasa listened as Aya went on with the rules of Raquetball...but he was still fixated at looking at her frame...not just one part, like most boys tend to do, but the entire body...it all matched up so WELL!

"...but if the ball lands....Sasa? Sasa?"

"Oh... um... sorry sorry." A crimson blush covered his cheeks and he turned his head down slightly to keep Aya from seeing in his eyes what he had been thinking.

"...you ok? You seem a little distracted...."

"no I'm right as rain... I was just ..." Sasa's eyes were closed with his long full eye-lashs revealed as he tried desperately to think of something to say other than I was thinking about you.

"...um... I forgot what I was going to say." Sasa's blushed an even brighter shade of red with the color gently crossing from cheek to cheek across the bridge of his nose. If a girl had that happen to her they would have said she looked adorable. So naturally when Sasa blushed it could be well said that he looked adorable, just like a girl.

Aya shrugged. "Ok...now, you ready?" Aya bounced that ball and swatted it against the`wall...Sas``clumsal9ing to say other than I was thinking about you.

Aya shrugged. "Ok...now, you ready?" Aya bounced that ball and swatted it against the`wall...Sas``clumsal9ted with her smile and her laugh. Somewhere in the back of his thoughts was the one about asking her to be his girlfriend, for real!

Sasa gasped a little as he let the ball loose. It bounced at least a good three times before his thoughts finally realized he was supposed to serve and not lock down everything for the sake of caching Aya's smile just one more time. He saw her laugh a little more at the ball being forgotten, and almost as it started to die, he jerked around and let off a wild swing.....

Which utterly failed to connect...and only served to put him on his rear again from losing balance.

Sasa blushed cutely from his position on the floor. He was afraid Aya would have realized that he missed the ball because he was looking at her.

"It looks a lot easier on TV." He said. Already he knew that was a stupid thing to say. They televise tennis matches not raquetball matches. He became a bit brighter red, now sure Aya would catch on.

Aya shook her head in pity as he clambered back to his feet... "No, no, you're a little too jerky with that swing....Carla told me that you have to hold the handle in a trigger position...."

Sasa nearly fainted again when Aya took his hands and gently gripped them around his own raquet for him. He had wondered what Aya's touch was like, and now he knew. Her skin was very supple and smooth, and it seemed to delight him just to touch it. Aya explained the grip, but seemed to keep her hand there anyway after she had finished, her fingers seemingly moving to Sasa's wrist... "Just let it relax, ok? Don't tense up, you lose a lot of motion that way, and that means you get less accuracy and speed on the ball..."

She's holding my hand.. both of them, he thought. Well maybe not exactly, but she was still close enough that Sasa was having trouble taking his eyes off her, and again he noticed that tightness in his chest. He might have thought he was having a heart attack the way his heart was beating a mile a minute. But that wasn't the location of the tightness. Actually that seemed to be located on both sides of his chest.

Together, Aya showed him the motions of what Carla had shown her, but her hand never left his. Soon, it seemed they were almost right against each other as he guided his swing...

Aya had moved behind Sasa and was guiding his arm. Sasa felt Aya's breasts pressed up against his back. With every motion they made on the practice swings, Aya's breasts gently pressed into Sasa's back. Suddenly Sasa realized what that feeling was.

His chest felt even tighter now, but for some reason it also felt pleasurable. Sasa's mind began to wander as he now realized how incredible it felt to have Aya this close. Sasa felt stirrings unlike anything he had felt before.

"Ooooo" very softly came from his mouth during another practice swing.

"That's it,now your getting the hang of it." Aya said thinking Sasa had said Oh! as if he had learned something.

Of course Sasa had learned something. He learned that Aya's body was causing his to go into fits.

Just as they were getting it right, a pair of footsteps was head briefly near the doorway. A girl, still loaded down with several satchels and luggage bits stood there, grinning like a cheshire cat that spotted the world's tastiest bowl of milk. She was surrounded almost by a dizzying cloud of her own, and Sasa felt the same wooziness he felt having Aya touch him. Even SHE couldn't take her eyes off the strange lass...such long brown hair, icy blue eyes like Aya...and a body to match! Unlike Aya, her frame was deliberatly lovely, obviously a girl that works out or does aerobics.....

"Hi!" She said, in her teeny soprano voice, politely bowed a little in the Japanese custom. "I'm Takahashi Megumi, and I guess we all will be classmates or something, right?"

Sasa now felt like there was a weight on his chest... actually one on each side. There was a beautiful girl standing in front of him and a beautiful girl pressed up behind him. He couldn't keep from thinking what it would feel like if Megumi were to come stand in front of him like Aya was behind him. He could be the boy in the middle of a girl sandwich!

These thoughts were not helping his concentration. Sasa felt very warm. He knew he should respond to the pretty girl in front of him, after all she had asked a question.

"um... hi... I'm Sasa and this is Aya..." Sasa could have been so captivated by Megumi that he would have forgotten about Aya, but that just wasn't possible with her body caressing his. "I don't know if we will be classmates... " Mentally he added, but I *really* hope so.

Then he explained. "I just got here myself."

The shadows that surrounded Sasa were out in full force. They realized that he was aroused so they were doing everything they could to make him look like an adorable little girl, such that he could attract whatever it was that was arousing him.

"Look, Megumi...I..we're just a tad...well...busy...I can show you aroun...around...later if you..."

Sasa could hear the nervousness in Aya's voice. He could even feel a tremble from her, since she was touching him. But, he was so aroused he could barely think clearly. The constricting tightness in his chest was actually feeling pleasurable now. For some odd reason he wanted to touch himself.

Sasa took his eyes off Aya for a second and stared at the hottie that stood before him. Almost as if in some slow motion dream the girl posed seductively at him from some beach stag video or something.....

But the image was shattered when Megumi started to walk towards, (or in Sasa's fevered sight...STRIDE....) Aya. The sultry lass grinned widely at her and said "Well, a tour sounds fun....show me the way girl..."

Aya trembled fiercely, and in a shriek that even broke Sasa's entrancement she stormed past the two girls screaming and weeping, running as fast as her legs would take her to her dorm.

Megumi blinked a few times herself and muttered something to the effect of "Damn, got a little too carried away with THIS one!"

Sasa on the other hand blew past Megumi and gave chase to the weeping girl.