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Lessons in Love “Why isn’t Paul here?”
Leda sighed, not bothering to look up at her stepfather. They were now in the privacy of her room, not in the court hall of Jupiter. However, that didn’t make her want to discuss the situation any more than she had earlier. “Rand,” she replied, letting all her weariness seep into her voice, “I really don’t want to talk about it with you.” Rand sighed and sat down across from her in the wide window seat. Because of his proximity, Leda forced herself to look up at him. He looked at her worriedly and he appeared just as exhausted as she felt. “You need to talk to someone, Leda.” “Paul decided not to fight and remained in Crystal Tokyo.” Rand shook his head. “I know that there’s more to it than that. Elara mentioned that you had been attacked and injured.” “Something like that,” Leda said with a rueful laugh. “A Shadow Moon warrior was working as a gardener in Crystal Tokyo, and he attacked me for Atalia’s death. Hotaru healed my arm, so I’m fine now. But Paul and I had a fight just before all that happened.” “What did you fight about?” “He doesn’t want me fighting anymore, because he’s afraid I’ll get hurt.” She managed a bitter smile. “I can’t find fault with that, but I had already given my word to Serenity and Endymion. I couldn’t take that kind of promise back, Rand. Besides, I had given them my oath of loyalty a long time ago.” “And then Paul decided to stay behind in Crystal Tokyo.” Leda nodded. “He thought it would be easier for both of us. You know, I don’t think he realized how close I was to telling him yes. For a moment, I was really tempted to just walk away from everything for him.” Wordlessly, Rand hugged her tightly. He stroked her hair as she cried against his shoulder. After a few moments, she hiccupped and pulled away, wiping furiously at her face. “Just before I went to Crystal Tokyo for my training, I asked Mom about when do you find the right guy,” Leda stated, her tone more calm. “She said that I wouldn’t have problems finding the right man. I just needed to find someone who would love in spite of my station. I thought that I had misunderstood her. I mean all the mayors’ sons were chasing me because of my station. I didn’t realize until now how right Mom was.” Rand placed a hand over hers, causing Leda to look up at him. “Leda, I’m sorry this happened to you. I wish I could take this all away, but I can’t. But I think Paul will realize his mistake soon.” “I wish I was that certain, Rand,” Leda murmured. “But I’m not.” * * * * * He had hurt her. He had hurt her deeply, and Paul hated himself for that. The image of Leda’s tear-stained face still haunted him, even all these hours later after her departure for Jupiter. By now, she had probably already asked Rand to maintain control of Jupiter until the crisis had passed. Closing his eyes, he sighed. ‘I’m so sorry, Leda. I should have never let things get this far between us.’ Once more he cursed his weakness on Charon. If he had never kissed her, Leda would still be unaware of his feelings and spared of the pain he had now caused her. But, at the moment, he had surrendered to his emotion for the future princess and let himself continue to live in that rose-colored bubble ever since then. It was the conference in Crystal Tokyo that made him see that Leda would always put the security of Jupiter and its people ahead of her own safety and happiness. He decided he couldn’t stay and watch her as she kept getting herself hurt fighting other people’s battles. He was being selfish and cowardly. He knew that. He accepted that opinion of himself. A chime pulled him from his thoughts and announced he had a call. Mildly surprised, Paul activated the screen. However, when he saw the caller, he sat down with a shake of his head. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, sir,” Paul said. “No, probably not,” Rand replied, studying the younger man closely. “So, why haven’t you returned to Jupiter, Paul?” “Leda gave me the decision to return to Jupiter or not, and I have decided to remain in Crystal Tokyo for the time being.” Rand smiled, but it was far from genuine. “Paul, I know that you and Leda had a fight. What ever happened is between you and Leda. However, I did want to talk to you.” “Sir, I appreciated the gesture,” Paul stated quickly, “but, as you said, this is between Leda and me.” Rand chuckled. “Yes, I realize that. Yet, what you are doing is arrogant and condensing.” “What?” “I know what you are trying to do, Paul. You think are doing Leda a favor by breaking it off and walking away. You think that you know what’s best for her.” “I’m not what she needs, Rand,” Paul replied dejectedly. “I just wish I had been stronger earlier.” “Paul, Leda cares for you deeply, and she knows what she needs. Your behavior has high-handed and unfair. Did you honestly expect her to choose you over her duty to Serenity and to Jupiter?” “Rand, that’s a low blow!” Paul protested. “Isn’t that the choice you gave her?” Rand countered smoothly. “Either walk away from the coming battles or lose you?” Paul froze before slumping into the chair once more in defeat. “I didn’t mean to be that way, Rand, but we both have made our decision.” “I’ve been in your position,” Rand said. “I thought I didn’t deserve Lita’s love, and I almost threw that precious gift away. I hate for you to make that mistake with Leda and regret it for the rest of your life.” Paul merely shook his head. “I have already done things I regret. Yet, I think that it is too much to take back.” “Don’t let your pride make you a fool,” Rand said, “and let Leda decide if it is too much to be taken back.” * * * * * The breeze was cool, carrying a lingering hint of flowers. With a sigh, Rand crouched down and reverently ran a hand over the black marble monument. “Beloved wife, mother, and ruler,” he murmured, reading the familiar inscription. “You carried parts of our hearts with you.” He knew that her body wasn’t underneath the stone. However, the memories of his life with her made it seem that she was still there, hovering over him and the children. He smiled as he noticed the roses, a gift of one of the girls. “I miss you, but then, you probably know that.” He paused, trying to think of what he wanted to say. “I wish you were here. You would know what to say to Leda and Paul right now. I can’t seem to find the right words.” He shook his head. “They love each other. You and I saw that a long time. They just now figured it out for themselves, but they’re letting their fears and their pride keep them apart. I wish you were here to help me, to help them.” Rand paused once more, listening to song of the crickets. He always felt more at peace after his visits there. Realizing the late hour, he finally stood up. “I love you, Lita,” he said quietly, “always.” |
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