A Hero's Journey -- Part 25 -

She was dreaming again. She knew it. Yet, the knowledge of that fact did not ease her at all.

Again and again, she relived her brief time as Queen Relena, her argument with her brother during the Eve’s War, and her farewell to Heero as he left to fight in what she had hoped would be the final battle. Her mind moved forward to the boys’ return to war, Heero collapsing into her arms, and her current political life.

However, the dream had a new component: the latest attempt on her life. For a moment after noticing the red light of the laser sight, she had hesitated. In that one instant, she had truly wanted to die, wishing for the bullet to end it all. The only thing that had moved her was the knowledge that her death could bring about a new conflict. Even in her selfishness, she couldn’t allow herself to be an excuse for more deaths.

Finally, she was able to wake up and bolted upright in the bed. Her heart was still pounding, making her injured shoulder throb in its rhythm. Taking a steadying breath, she swung her legs aside and merely sat on the edge of the bed.

“How long have you been there, Heero?” she asked quietly, not bothering to turn her head.

The question jarred him from his thoughts although his face, if she had bothered to look, betrayed no emotion. He had been surprised when he had heard Relena cry out in her sleep, calling out to people including him and her brother. He had figured that out of all of them Relena would have the least guilt, carry the fewest scars. Now he realized how little he truly knew about her.

“Long enough,” he forced himself to finally answer.

She nodded, still not looking at him. “I’m sorry if I woke you. You don’t have to stay.”

Again, she had surprised him. In the past, she was the one chasing him while he continued to push her away. Now, Relena was the one hiding. That intrigued him.

“What were you dreaming about?” he asked.

She glanced at him, finding him with astonishing ease in the darkness. “A lot of things. The past. The present.”

“And the future?” he supplied with the barest hint of humor.

A ghost of a smile hovered over her lips, but the sadness still lingered in her eyes. “No, the past and the present are more than enough, Heero.”

The room fell into silence. With a silent sigh, Relena forced herself to look at Heero once more. “I wanted to thank you for saving me today, Heero. I should have done it sooner.”

He shrugged, brushing off her thanks. “You know my reasons.”

“I do,” she agreed with a nod. “And you know the reasons why I have to go back. I can’t hide out forever.”

He studied her for a long moment while the diplomat held her breath. “What about the people behind this last attempt? What if they try again?”

Her posture straightened, her chin lifting to indicate her usual defiance. “That’s a chance I take every day, Heero, and I can’t let it control my life or my work. If I do, they win.”

That was the answer he had expected. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Get some sleep.”

Before she could protest, he left the room. Her indignation lasted a few moments before she reluctantly smiled. Despite the years, she thought, he really hadn’t changed.


Part XXV She was dreaming again. She knew it. Yet, the knowledge of that fact did not ease her at all. Again and again, she relived her brief time as Queen Relena, her argument with her brother during the Eve’s War, and her farewell to Heero as he left to fight in what she had hoped would be the final battle. Her mind moved forward to the boys’ return to war, Heero collapsing into her arms, and her current political life. However, the dream had a new component: the latest attempt on her life. For a moment after noticing the red light of the laser sight, she had hesitated. In that one instant, she had truly wanted to die, wishing for the bullet to end it all. The only thing that had moved her was the knowledge that her death could bring about a new conflict. Even in her selfishness, she couldn’t allow herself to be an excuse for more deaths. Finally, she was able to wake up and bolted upright in the bed. Her heart was still pounding, making her injured shoulder throb in its rhythm. Taking a steadying breath, she swung her legs aside and merely sat on the edge of the bed. “How long have you been there, Heero?” she asked quietly, not bothering to turn her head. The question jarred him from his thoughts although his face, if she had bothered to look, betrayed no emotion. He had been surprised when he had heard Relena cry out in her sleep, calling out to people including him and her brother. He had figured that out of all of them Relena would have the least guilt, carry the fewest scars. Now he realized how little he truly knew about her. “Long enough,” he forced himself to finally answer. She nodded, still not looking at him. “I’m sorry if I woke you. You don’t have to stay.” Again, she had surprised him. In the past, she was the one chasing him while he continued to push her away. Now, Relena was the one hiding. That intrigued him. “What were you dreaming about?” he asked. She glanced at him, finding him with astonishing ease in the darkness. “A lot of things. The past. The present.” “And the future?” he supplied with the barest hint of humor. A ghost of a smile hovered over her lips, but the sadness still lingered in her eyes. “No, the past and the present are more than enough, Heero.” The room fell into silence. With a silent sigh, Relena forced herself to look at Heero once more. “I wanted to thank you for saving me today, Heero. I should have done it sooner.” He shrugged, brushing off her thanks. “You know my reasons.” “I do,” she agreed with a nod. “And you know the reasons why I have to go back. I can’t hide out forever.” He studied her for a long moment while the diplomat held her breath. “What about the people behind this last attempt? What if they try again?” Her posture straightened, her chin lifting to indicate her usual defiance. “That’s a chance I take every day, Heero, and I can’t let it control my life or my work. If I do, they win.” That was the answer he had expected. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Get some sleep.” Before she could protest, he left the room. Her indignation lasted a few moments before she reluctantly smiled. Despite the years, she thought, he really hadn’t changed.


Part XXVI Back to Main Page