--- Part 11 --- -

“We should make some preparations,” Relena said, her voice calm.

Milliardo shook his head. “You shouldn’t be thinking about that, now.”

“Surely Dr. Ling told you the same thing she told me,” Relena stated with a sympathetic smile. “Brother, we have to face reality now. Since Stelmein is serving as my replacement, ESUN can either keep him or find someone more qualified. Whatever they chose to do, ESUN must be notified of the situation.”

“And send them into panic?” Noin asked. “What would prevent another war from happening?”

Relena shook her head. “The sudden news of my death would create an even greater shock, Noin. At least this way, there would be time to adjust. As to another war, one person doesn’t create peace or war. The decision of many leads to either choice.”

“But one person can lead the way,” Milliardo said quietly.

Relena sighed and looked out the window, watching the sunset. “You need to have greater faith, brother. Too many people have seen the horrors of war to want to return to them. I believe that the people will find a way to maintain peace.”

“I do, too,” Noin stated. “But now, Relena, you need to rest.”

The younger woman nodded. “Why don’t you and Milliardo go eat? I’ll be fine.”

Milliardo looked hesitant, but Noin nodded. Relena would need some time alone. She guided Milliardo out the door and closed it softly behind her. Trowa was leaning casually against the wall, guarding the fallen princess.

As soon as the door closed, Relena closed her eyes. She was losing the battle against her tears. With a shuddering sigh, she finally surrendered to them, weeping silently.

* * * * *

The land was charred, the embers and ash crunching under her feet. The heavy scent of smoke still lingered in the air, even after all this time. With swirls of ash, the winter wind tore at her, its icy fingers freezing her skin.

She merely hugged her arms tighter to herself as she continued walking. Although she was unsure of her destination, she was strangely certain that she was heading in the right direction. As she kept moving, the sun began its descent.

The few skeletal remains of buildings stood, watching her as suspicious sentinels. The decreasing sunlight made them appear angry, and she couldn’t fight the feeling of being watched. However, she persisted in her journey.

She had lost all sense of time, not knowing if she had been walking for a few minutes or for several days. It seems that time had stilled. The oppressive silence began to plague her, making her crave some sound, even if it was only the wind.

She suddenly stopped. Straining her eyes, she realized that she actually did see some small color in a nearby pile of ash. She quickened her pace and dug through the ash with her hands.

Reverently, she lifted the object. With a soft gasp of surprise, she realized that it was once a doll. The faded red remnants of its dress were what had drawn her attention. Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks as she hugged the maimed toy to her chest.

She scanned the area around her, her mind filling in the details that the destruction had swept away. This section of the city had once been so busy, filled with people renewing their lives after the battles. She had failed and again innocent people had suffered.

The wind blew again. Yet, it was different now. Instead of the cold, dead smell of smoke, this wind carried the faint, warm scent of spring flowers. Intrigued, she rose slowly to her feet, still holding the doll tightly to her chest.

She again walked for unnoticeable amount of time. But the sunlight still lingered, allowing her to continue to see. Once more, she suddenly froze, a gasp escaping her lips.

She was at ground zero, standing at the spot where the blast landed. It was here that the destruction began, the explosion that had destroyed this sector of the city and all the lives of those who had lived in it. She was in the heart of destruction.

She closed her eyes, silently asking for forgiveness. If she had been stronger, if she had done things differently, the outcome may have been better. However, she realized that like all might-have-beens, there is no guarantee that the outcome would be better. It could have been drastically worse.

Yet, she had failed. That thought repeated itself over and over again in her mind. Despite all she had tried to do, ultimately, in the end, she had failed.

As the wind revolved around her, she lowered her head. As she sobbed, her tears mingled with the wind and the ash. As she wept, her grief blended into the overwhelming silence.

“I’m sorry.”

* * * * *

Noin watched the young woman as she slept. In the pale moonlight filtering through the small window, Relena appeared like an angel. And, like most angels, she would soon be too quickly gone from their lives.

She didn’t know how Milliardo would react when the inevitable finally happened. Although they both had seen their share of death and destruction, this was a very different situation. This struck far too close to home for them both.

Relena suddenly stirred in her sleep. Tears were coursing down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, still asleep.

Noin took one of Relena’s hands. Her eyes widened in surprise at how hot the skin she held felt. With her free hand, Noin brushed some hair from the girl’s face.

“Relena,” she said gently.

Suddenly, Relena’s hand tightened on hers, her grip becoming a vice. With a moan, Relena threw her head back. She immediately began to convulse, her grip on Noin’s hand tightening further.

* * * * *

When she finally opened her eyes, she saw another spot of color. Still not trusting her eyes, she moved forward. She tripped over an unnoticed piece of debris and landed hard on her knees.

She was at the edge of a small patch of flowers, their pale colors almost obscene in the sea of ash. Their faint fragrance was both pleasant and comforting. The flowers were evident of new life in the dead world surrounding her.

* * * * *

“Come on, Relena, you’ve gotta fight,” Alex coached, as she watched the monitors.

Once again, the young woman was in trouble. In response to the unrelenting fever, her body was shutting down, already sending her into convulsions. However, the seizure had now ceased, but blood pressure and heart rates were continuing to drop.

“Doctor, her rhythm,” one of the nurses prompted.

Alex nodded, noting that Relena’s heart rate was deteriorating. However, there wasn’t much left for her to do. Relena had signed a “do not resuscitate” order, preventing them from using either CPR or the other such means to save her.

“I guess this is it,” Alex murmured.

She closed her eyes briefly as the final alarm sounded.

“Doctor, she’s flat-lined.”

With a heavy heart, Alex opened her eyes. “Let’s turn off the monitors.”

* * * * *

She ran her hands through the flowers, their wavy leaves and petals brushing gently against her skin. For the first time in her life, she was filled with a true sense of peace. She realized that she had done all she could.

She had completed her appointed tasks. At last, she was ready for the true journey. She could leave without guilt because she had learned a final lesson.

‘Out of the destruction, comes peace. Out of the ashes, comes life. Out of the darkness, always comes hope.’


Part XI “We should make some preparations,” Relena said, her voice calm. Milliardo shook his head. “You shouldn’t be thinking about that, now.” “Surely Dr. Ling told you the same thing she told me,” Relena stated with a sympathetic smile. “Brother, we have to face reality now. Since Stelmein is serving as my replacement, ESUN can either keep him or find someone more qualified. Whatever they chose to do, ESUN must be notified of the situation.” “And send them into panic?” Noin asked. “What would prevent another war from happening?” Relena shook her head. “The sudden news of my death would create an even greater shock, Noin. At least this way, there would be time to adjust. As to another war, one person doesn’t create peace or war. The decision of many leads to either choice.” “But one person can lead the way,” Milliardo said quietly. Relena sighed and looked out the window, watching the sunset. “You need to have greater faith, brother. Too many people have seen the horrors of war to want to return to them. I believe that the people will find a way to maintain peace.” “I do, too,” Noin stated. “But now, Relena, you need to rest.” The younger woman nodded. “Why don’t you and Milliardo go eat? I’ll be fine.” Milliardo looked hesitant, but Noin nodded. Relena would need some time alone. She guided Milliardo out the door and closed it softly behind her. Trowa was leaning casually against the wall, guarding the fallen princess. As soon as the door closed, Relena closed her eyes. She was losing the battle against her tears. With a shuddering sigh, she finally surrendered to them, weeping silently. * * * * * The land was charred, the embers and ash crunching under her feet. The heavy scent of smoke still lingered in the air, even after all this time. With swirls of ash, the winter wind tore at her, its icy fingers freezing her skin. She merely hugged her arms tighter to herself as she continued walking. Although she was unsure of her destination, she was strangely certain that she was heading in the right direction. As she kept moving, the sun began its descent. The few skeletal remains of buildings stood, watching her as suspicious sentinels. The decreasing sunlight made them appear angry, and she couldn’t fight the feeling of being watched. However, she persisted in her journey. She had lost all sense of time, not knowing if she had been walking for a few minutes or for several days. It seems that time had stilled. The oppressive silence began to plague her, making her crave some sound, even if it was only the wind. She suddenly stopped. Straining her eyes, she realized that she actually did see some small color in a nearby pile of ash. She quickened her pace and dug through the ash with her hands. Reverently, she lifted the object. With a soft gasp of surprise, she realized that it was once a doll. The faded red remnants of its dress were what had drawn her attention. Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks as she hugged the maimed toy to her chest. She scanned the area around her, her mind filling in the details that the destruction had swept away. This section of the city had once been so busy, filled with people renewing their lives after the battles. She had failed and again innocent people had suffered. The wind blew again. Yet, it was different now. Instead of the cold, dead smell of smoke, this wind carried the faint, warm scent of spring flowers. Intrigued, she rose slowly to her feet, still holding the doll tightly to her chest. She again walked for unnoticeable amount of time. But the sunlight still lingered, allowing her to continue to see. Once more, she suddenly froze, a gasp escaping her lips. She was at ground zero, standing at the spot where the blast landed. It was here that the destruction began, the explosion that had destroyed this sector of the city and all the lives of those who had lived in it. She was in the heart of destruction. She closed her eyes, silently asking for forgiveness. If she had been stronger, if she had done things differently, the outcome may have been better. However, she realized that like all might-have-beens, there is no guarantee that the outcome would be better. It could have been drastically worse. Yet, she had failed. That thought repeated itself over and over again in her mind. Despite all she had tried to do, ultimately, in the end, she had failed. As the wind revolved around her, she lowered her head. As she sobbed, her tears mingled with the wind and the ash. As she wept, her grief blended into the overwhelming silence. “I’m sorry.” * * * * * Noin watched the young woman as she slept. In the pale moonlight filtering through the small window, Relena appeared like an angel. And, like most angels, she would soon be too quickly gone from their lives. She didn’t know how Milliardo would react when the inevitable finally happened. Although they both had seen their share of death and destruction, this was a very different situation. This struck far too close to home for them both. Relena suddenly stirred in her sleep. Tears were coursing down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, still asleep. Noin took one of Relena’s hands. Her eyes widened in surprise at how hot the skin she held felt. With her free hand, Noin brushed some hair from the girl’s face. “Relena,” she said gently. Suddenly, Relena’s hand tightened on hers, her grip becoming a vice. With a moan, Relena threw her head back. She immediately began to convulse, her grip on Noin’s hand tightening further. * * * * * When she finally opened her eyes, she saw another spot of color. Still not trusting her eyes, she moved forward. She tripped over an unnoticed piece of debris and landed hard on her knees. She was at the edge of a small patch of flowers, their pale colors almost obscene in the sea of ash. Their faint fragrance was both pleasant and comforting. The flowers were evident of new life in the dead world surrounding her. * * * * * “Come on, Relena, you’ve gotta fight,” Alex coached, as she watched the monitors. Once again, the young woman was in trouble. In response to the unrelenting fever, her body was shutting down, already sending her into convulsions. However, the seizure had now ceased, but blood pressure and heart rates were continuing to drop. “Doctor, her rhythm,” one of the nurses prompted. Alex nodded, noting that Relena’s heart rate was deteriorating. However, there wasn’t much left for her to do. Relena had signed a “do not resuscitate” order, preventing them from using either CPR or the other such means to save her. “I guess this is it,” Alex murmured. She closed her eyes briefly as the final alarm sounded. “Doctor, she’s flat-lined.” With a heavy heart, Alex opened her eyes. “Let’s turn off the monitors.” * * * * * She ran her hands through the flowers, their wavy leaves and petals brushing gently against her skin. For the first time in her life, she was filled with a true sense of peace. She realized that she had done all she could. She had completed her appointed tasks. At last, she was ready for the true journey. She could leave without guilt because she had learned a final lesson. ‘Out of the destruction, comes peace. Out of the ashes, comes life. Out of the darkness, always comes hope.’


You Shouldn't Have to Say Goodbye