With a heavy heart, I turn my feet,
Facing the long, winding, dusty road
To the shattered sanctuary
I once called home.

That once welcomed place,
A haven of fortitude from
Which I so often drew,
Has taken a darker, midnight hue
And poisons my very soul.

The memories, once so fond,
Of things of joy and loved ones,
Are now so bittersweet.
I have never felt so alone.

Oh, Lord, my God,
Why has this calamity come?
What need was there for the destruction
Of my mother’s or any mother’s son?

My home is shattered,
The rift that will never mend.
Every time I look around,
All I see are memories of him.

Is this a kind of punishment?
Was this something I deserved?

The pain is still there,
Lingering always beneath
This stone heart I am creating,
For crying is only for the weak.

Yet, I am so weary,
So tired of carrying this load.
Why do I have to bear
All these feelings within me
I will can never, ever share?

The tightrope that I am walking
Is threatening to tear.
I already see it unraveling,
But I all I can do is stare.

The joy and pain of the memories
Battle within my mind.
I will never banish him from my thoughts.
But do I have to cry every time?

Sometime when I wake up,
It still seems all new.
Years and years from now,
Will this still be something
That I will have to go through?

They say the pain will lessen,
And others say that it will fade.
Yet, am I a traitor
If it does ever go away?