Howdy guys! I just got this weird idea and felt like writing it.

Ace Sanchez presents:

A Ranma 1/2 and Quake Spamfic

WARNING: Story contains extreme violence and no story (A contradiction
if ever there was one). Basically if you like Quake, you'll like this. 
Oh yeah, people may act slightly OOC. Which is kinda obvious since none 
of the characters in Quake have any personality.

(Standard disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters 
created by Rumiko Takahashi.  You know the drill, etc etc etc.
Quake is a PC game made by ID Software. I didn't make it either.)


Ranma Quake!
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Cheeow-boomp! Ranma looked around confused. What the hell happened? One
moment ago, he had been in the Tendo dojo about to go pig out on some
food, the next he was in this weirdo place. He was in an underground
cavern of some sort, an inclosed area with only one opening which was 
right in front of him. The walls were a greyish blue. The air felt hot 
and humid. Steam rose through the floor. He wondered what was under 
there.

He felt something heavy in his hands. He looked down surprised. It was
a shotgun. The big and phallic kind. "Hey! Cool!" he said out loud. "I
wonder if this is real?"

Suddenly, a figure popped out in front of him just when he was pulling
the trigger. Choom! Unfortunately, whoever it was, was actually hit by
Ranma's test shot.

"Arrghhh!" What are you doing boy?" It was his father. Genma clutched 
his shoulder, blood oozing from his pelletted flesh.

"Hey it works!" Ranma exclaimed. He looked at his father. "Oh. It's only 
you."

Genma lifted up a wicked looking axe. "I'll teach you to disrespect your 
father!"

Choom! Choom! Ranma blew his father's arm off with the first shot, then
half of his head. Blood and brains flew everywhere. Genma staggered 
drunkly around until his body realised it was dead and fell over, 
twitching.

"Man! I love this! Who gives a stuff about martial arts when guns do the 
job much quicker?" He ran out of the closed enncampment looking for more
stuff to kill.

As he jogged out, he came upon a narrow walkway. Either side was filled 
with lava. So that's what was making it so hot, Ranma thought.

"Ranma!" a voice shouted from above him. "Die!"

Ranma barely jumped out of the way as a bolt of pure electricity struck 
just where he was standing before he leaped. The air was so charged, 
Ranma's hair was standing on end. He looked up to see Mousse on an 
overhead pass. he was hefting a huge gun. Ranma had never seen it's kind
before.

Mousse crouched a bit to prevent the kickback as he prepared to launch 
another shot. Ranma fired up a shot from his shotgun but it didn't even 
seem to reach him. Man this gun sucks, he thought. How come he's got 
such a cool weapon?

Kazzzzzzzzzzzp! Mousse fired off another bolt of deadly electricity as 
Ranma once again tried to dodge. This time it managed to connect with 
his arm. "Argh! That's it!" he shouted. Then his spirits lifted as he 
saw a weird looking gun rotating in the corner. What was strange was 
that it was rotating in midair.

More bolts of electricity came shooting down from above, but Ranma 
managed to desperately dodge, while simultaneously leaping to the gun. 
"Yes!" He shouted as he threw his puny shotgun away and picked up the 
bigger and more phallic gun. "Now you get it Mousse!"

He leaped and rolled over on to his side as lightning struck where he 
had been. He aimed up the gun that sort of looked like the one in that 
'Predator' movie on to the general area of Mousse's head.

Poom! Poom Poom! Ranma couldn't believe it when huge nails came out of 
the revolving gun head. One nail got Mousse right through his glasses 
and into his eye, while a dozen more littered his torso. Blood rained 
down, as Ranma dodged. He didn't want to get splattered.

Mousse groaned a bit and fell off the overpass. Before Mousse could fall 
in the lava, Ranma splashed him with cold water that was left in a 
thermos in his pocket (It was supposed to be hot, for emergency gender 
changing, but it had cooled down into cold water). Mousse fell in the 
extremely hot lava with a loud hissing noise. Ranma quickly bent over 
and picked the roasted duck out before it could get fully submerged and 
overcooked. "Just as I thought, lava has no water in it," he said 
licking his lips. After all he was supposed to be having dinner by now 
at the Tendo's before he ended up in this weird place. He pulled off 
Mousses feather's and a couple of shattered bits of nails that was left 
in his body, and started eating him. "Yummm," he thought. 

Then suddenly out of the corner a flash of light appeared. Cheeow-boomp! 
Soun Tendo had appeared.

"W-where am I?"

"I don't know Mister Tendo but-" Cheeow-boomp! (Plus gibbing sound) 
Soun's body seemed to explode into a million bits of red hunky stuff as 
Ryoga came out. "What the hell?"

"Ranma!" Ryoga screamed. "Prepare to die!" He had a huge looking rocket 
launcher in his hands. Psssssssssssssst! The rocket fired and came 
heading right towards Ranma.

"Oh shit!" was Ranma last thought before the incoming explosive inserted 
itself into Ranma's stomach and exploded.

Ryoga swiped a piece of Ranma's intestines off his shoulder.

"Yesssss! I've finally killed Ranma!" He began to dance around merrily. 
"I killed Ranma!" Then getting a bit excited, he wanted to jump super 
high. "I wonder if that rocket jump I've heard about works?" He decided 
to try it out. Running swiftly he jumped into the air and aimed down.

Pssssssssssssst! BOOM! Ryoga's legs blew off in mid air as he rocketed 
into the sky. As luck would have it, the lava greeted him when he 
finally fell down. Ironically, the half that was his legs managed to 
land safely however.

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Errrrr Not my best work ^_^. Just goes to show what mood I'm in. I 
finished an exam today, yes! But another one on the day after tomorrow 
:-(. So I'll be studying my head off. Again. Argghhhh!

seeyas

Ace Sanchez

jsa@fl.net.au http://jsa.users.fl.net.au