by Ryan Mathews

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March 1999

And with the new season of conventions comes the annual self-questioning as to why I still go to these things.

I enjoyed this year's Katsucon more than I have past cons, due mainly to a conscious decision on my part not to give a damn. Now, I don't want to sound like I'm dissing Katsucon, at least not seriously so. It will always hold a special place in my heart because of how I was involved in getting it started, and because I ran my first fan-fiction panel there. I still run the fanfic panel every year, and the con is a place to run into friends and acquaintances that I never get another chance to see. Add to that the fact that the con is relatively close and inexpensive, and it's clearly worth the trip each February.

Nevertheless, each year, usually on Friday evening, I find myself wandering around the hotel, or stuck in my room, bored half out of my mind. Katsucon always has long stretches where virtually nothing is scheduled. Some people like it that way. "Much more relaxed than those busy West Coast cons," they say. Well, "relaxed" is one thing. "Dead" is another.

Of course, "dead" is a relative term. When my roommate got back after one particularly empty stretch, he'd had a blast. I asked what in the world he'd been doing. "Oh, I hung out with so-and-so," he said, naming a mutual friend or a con guest. This is what people who prefer this kind of convention always tell me, that you have to work at enjoying yourself by finding the opportunities as they present themselves.

Therein lies the rub: I don't like to "hang out". On the first day of the convention, I spent some time with my two roommates "hanging out" with former con-chair (and current Neko-Con chair) Larry Drews, and guest of honor Scott Frazier, just standing around and talking in the Artist's Alley. I was bored stiff. Larry is a cool guy, and Scott Frazier is, of course, super-double-damn cool, which is why he's a guest of honor at seemingly every convention in America. If I couldn't enjoy hanging out with these guys, I wouldn't enjoy hanging out with anyone!

And I'm not much of a party-goer either, since con parties are really little more than organized "hanging out", with the added entertainment of being around drunk people, which I can't stand. When it comes down to it, I'm simply not a social animal.

What do I like to do at cons? I like to do things. Shop in the dealers' room, check out the art show, watch anime, see the masquerade, attend interesting panels, and if the city is interesting, explore it as well. Actual interesting activities, not just standing around talking, trying not to grow cobwebs.

Ironically, my social shortcomings also get in my way during Anime Expo, the antithesis of the relaxed con, where I'm always so busy trying to take in as much as possible that I have trouble finding the time to get away from the crowds, resulting in periods of "burnout". I'm always kicking myself for being so exhausted after what was supposed to be a vacation.

That was why, when the long dead stretches hit once again during Katsucon, I made the decision to enjoy them. I read manga in my room, watched TV, slept. And when the con was over, for once I felt better than I did before it began. (Disregarding the monstrous cold I was fighting for the duration.)

On to this month's topic!