Guests' Web Picks

So who the hell's this Aaron Shattuck guy, anyway? Well, I'm writing this column, so obviously I must be an anime fan of some sort. I'm pretty sure that my induction into this particular sub-culture was fairly typical (you know, you're on the lam and shacking up at some would-be crack-house and there's really nothing to do but watch those tapes they're using to plug the holes in the sink or shoot at rats and whaddaya know, Joey coke-breath's eaten all bullets cause he thought they were alien invaders so that video with the weird looking people with Bambi eyes drawn on it, it is.)

But enough about my dangerous and questionable past. You want to know what I've been doing for the world of anime fandom recently. Well, besides my constant efforts to convince mainstream America that all anime is, in fact, violent pornography more likely to cause a rash of school shootings than any silly industrial music or video game, I also occasionally write fanfiction. In the beginning it was all incomprehensible ramblings and vicious, misspelled manifestos, mostly dealing with my own hideous desires. But thanks to the tireless efforts of my indentured editor, Chippy the Transvestite Gnome, most of it now takes the form of at least somewhat coherent indulgences in my dubious love of dark humor. When Chippy works extra-hard, it can even sometimes come off as semi-serious and good enough to deserve a place in the cat's litter box, at first glance anyway. I suppose if any of my work can be called "well known", it'd be the first part of Magical Girl Hunters, which I wrote for (I finished the last part of that, by the way. So you can all put down the sharp rocks now.) Anyhow, if you really want to see any of my stuff (save for those pieces of refuse even Ihave deemed unworthy), you can check it out .

Now, on to that urbane display of my own good taste, Aaron's Web Picks!

- My site is really super cool and everyone should go there!!!

- Yahoo is a great search engine that can help you find anime webpages!!!

Anime Web Turnpike - The Anipike is this amazing anime webpage database that-

Woah! Woah! Hold on, where ya going? Okay okay. Bad joke. I'm sorry, alright? C'mon. Come back. Please. Yeah, that's it. You know I love you.

Fine, here's the real picks, ya buncha cry babies.

Violinist of Hameln Sites

The Violinist of Hameln is a series that had two special ingredients: being both very very good and not at all popular, that inevitably led to an obsession that can only be called "questionable". The original manga is excellent too, although in a completely different way. The following sites deal with both, in varying degrees.

(which is their Hameln page. Their main page is ) - They're the ones doing the Hameln fansubs (which are up to volume four out of six, now.) You can request their latest and only their latest tapes from , which I suggest you do if you can, since the quality of those tapes seems to be a bit better than any of the other Hameln tapes I've gotten from other sources.

- Raya's site has a lotto offer. Besides being the home of that bulwark of the Hameln online community, the Hameln Mailing List and the wily Hameln Online RPG, it also has manga translations, doujinshi, fanart, fanfiction, character descriptions, an overview of the series, just a lot of pure unfiltered coolness. If you don't at least check out her fanart (which includes actual honest to God paintings,for Christ's sake,) you'll be cursed to forever walk the earth that much less fulfilled.

-The best place to get Hameln scans ever since the death of Mark Meidengard's Hameln page (may it rest in peace.) Also has episode synopses and movie files, along with other extra special goodies I'll just let you discover for yourself.

You know, I just realized that if I were to list and describe every single cool Hameln site out there, it 'd take much more space than you're probably willing to read over (isn't that right, you lazy vermin?), so here's a suggestion. Those last two Hameln sites I mentioned? They have link pages. Very good link pages. I heartily suggest you go to these link pages so that you may experience the wonders that Hameln fans have created in this electronic not-quite paradise (I mean, we're talking desktop themes, translations, scanned pages of the manga with translations right on 'em, fanart, doujinshi, poetry, frighteningly well done cosplay, fanfiction, MP3s, shrines, animal sacrifice, true love, the meaning of life...)

Fanfiction

(Even though I already mentioned it before) - Improfanfic is round-robbin storytelling with an anime flavor (whatever that means.) Writing for Improfanfic is just like being a rock star. And I don't just mean that as a simile, either. They're both exactlythe same. Especially the groupies, and the hard drugs.

- Contains the works of that great God of depravity, the enigmatic figure known only as "Oscar". Sure you've probably already read the horror that is "Artemis' Lover". But what about all the sequelsto "Artemis' Lover"? What about his Tiny Toon fics? Go to this site, open up a file, scroll down the page, read the line "Buster felt WEIRD", close the file, shut off your computer, burn your computer, run out of the house, don't stop until you're halfway across the world, dig a hole, bury yourself in it and stay there for the rest of your life.

- Stefan Gagne's latest Slayer's project. Okay, so he's not exactly the most obscure author on the net, but goddammit, he deserves his fame, and if there's a slim chance you haven't been here already, you should go check it out and see just how cool fanfiction can be. Do it or I'll kill you. I mean that.

Webcomics

- Teen angst and demonic plots actually canstill be different and entertaining. Especially when you factor in the evil cult of The Gap and a steadily rising pet mortality rate. Contains a character known as "Arr the Pirate Cat". Need I say more?

- It's a weekly full page, full color extravaganza (you have to say it real loud and wave your arms around.) Comics 23-33 are definitely the best so far. Warning: Contains references to copulation during immolation.

- Mike Woodson knows that stabbing people and child labor are funny. Unfortunately, the earlier strips are scanned in all crappy, so they hurt your eyes. They get better though.

- The exact opposite of what you'd figure I'd like. When anime cuteness meets stick figure cuteness, the result is a kind of ubercuteness certain to pop your brain like a little condom stuck on a tailpipe.

Extra Bonus Link!

- Just look at this kid! I mean... just look at her! Have you ever seen anyone so cool looking in your life? I've seen a photo of a Kiko UFO catcher doll giving the finger. Anyone who can obtain this item for me will receive an autographed copy of "Aaron Shattuck's Amazing Ultimate Self Inclusion Fic" and my eternal love and devotion.

And that's it. Now you can go back to downloading nude photos of Margaret Thatcher with Britney Spear's head pasted on or whatever it is you people do.