Guests' Web Picks

In the wild and wooly world of anime and manga fandom, there are two things I know real good: Writing and humor. Hey, I don't call my site for nothin'. If it's over the top, I'm all over it like Miaka on chow. My first online fanfic was a Slayers spoof of Star Wars called , which was very kindly posted by Jessica Polichetti on her now-defunct Zelgadis shrine. That was followed by the rest of the trilogy, a big, honkin' crossover yaoi spoof of and the now infamous and its psychedelic Funky Fruit. Most of what I write is dominated by my bizarre sense of humor, like throwing a Magical Girl and a couple of Hong Kong cinema idols into an Inuyasha story, or having Kenneth, Duke of Starr (Special Prosecutor Ken Starr) reading his Report while backup singers chant "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Starr" to the tune of "Duke of Earl", or putting Zelgadis into Amelia's body only to discover she's having her period and wearing a pushup bra. Even stories that wax horribly dark are peppered with the most absurd fits of comedy. Not to mention my 'Toons section, which is currently offline. I can't help it. Humor's my coping mechanism. That said, I offer unto you my favorite anime-related Dens of Silly, those places on the web that I keep going back to when I need a few yuks:

Let's start with that paragon of 80's icons, champion of young people, milk lover and anime action hero: Mr. T! The first Mr. T in anime site I came across was . It's helluva funny! Herein, Mr. T takes on Gundam Wing, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Fushigi Yuugi, Sailor Moon, Macross and Magic Knight Rayearth. Does Heero have enough milk to bribe the T into throwing Duo helluva far for stealing all the anime babes, not to mention his limelight? Can Yui beat Miaka with help from Mr. T? And NERV faces it's biggest battle yet! (Yes, Shinji, there are worse things than Angels.) The T takes on some non-anime foes as well, in "Mr. T vs. Alien" and "Mr. T vs. Raiders of the Lost Ark". Then there are Amethyst Angel's two pages: and . First of all, Slayers and Vision of Escaflowne are two of my all-time favorite anime series, and Mr. T brings back those waffy childhood memories of watching The A Team. Put 'em together, and I'm one happy Queen of sharp, pointy things. Can a public service announcement for milk convince Mr. T that Lina Inverse isn't the enemy, or will Rezo triumph over Dragonslave Girl at last? In Mr. T vs. Escaflowne, Van finds a mentor who's manlier than Allen and isn't always trying to get into somebody's panties! Now if he can just get Mr. T to take him seriously... Any predictions, Hitomi? Speaking of Escaflowne, try this one out at your next big anime club blow-out: The Escaflowne Drinking Game from . I guess it works with soft drinks, too. Heh.

Like those Mr. T sites I mentioned, takes screen shots and adds its own captions or dialog. Best bet: The "Pulp Fiction" and "Phantom Menace" crossovers. Nice to know I wasn't the only one waiting for Jedi Samuel L. Jackson to start spouting profanities in "Phantom Menace". The Princess Mononoke stuff's great, too. There's just something insidiously skin crawling about Pikachu with blood smeared all over his mouth. "Pika! Pika! Pika!" Translation: "Get in the Pokeball, Ash, or you're next!" *shudder*

I keep waiting for somebody to MSTy one of my fanfics but I guess I should be thankful they don't, because that wouldn't speak well for my fics. Or maybe it would. I dunno, it's sort of an honor to be MSTied, like you've arrived. Ah well. For the time being, I content myself with the MSTing of one of my other fave anime series: "El Hazard: The Wanderers". For the unenlightened, MST3K (conjugated to MSTing, MSTy and MSTied) is Mystery Science Theatre 3000, in which a hapless human and his handmade robot friends poke fun at the awful movies they're forced to watch by the evil people who won't let them leave the Satellite of Love. subjects Joel and the 'bots (they use Joel, rather than Mike) to the El Hazard TV series with its big bugs, lusty lesbians, nerdy hero and megalomaniac villain who gives Naga the Serpent a run for her money in the cackling department. (There's a crossover fic in there somewhere...)

I would be remiss if I didn't mention , hosted by Silvestris, who does art for my Inuyasha series and her buddy Pairaka. They're artists, they're writers, and they're utterly silly. And speaking of writers...

I know what some of you are thinking: "Hey, you're the Queen of Swords! Where are the fanfiction links?!" Truth be told, I really don't get much opportunity to surf around, looking for good fanfiction to read. I get plenty sent to me to be posted on my site (but don't confuse me with an archive, ok), mostly in the section, but I'm not counting those, since thepremise of Gourrigan's Island is basically my own (yeah, yeah, based on Gilligan's Island, using Slayers characters, but I put the two together). But now that I've quit accepting Guest Fics, I guess I'll have to go searching for fics on my own again. However, I have to say that what others have told me is basically true: There's a lot of bad fanfiction out there, and it seems to just leap into my browser whenever I go on Fanfic Safari.

Occasionally though, I come across some real gems. Many of them are yaoi stories, and archived on . I recommend Aesth to anyone who loves yaoi, shonen-ai and shoujo. It's a well-organized, beautiful site with loads of great fiction, as well as articles, information and a marketplace. One of my favorites on Aesth is a Fushigi Yuugi parody of the movie "Labyrinth" by Tia Noto Yoko, called appropriately enough . Tamahome's little sister gets kidnapped by Goblin King Nakago, and Tamahome must solve the Labyrinth and get through the Goblin City to Nakago's castle to save her. Along the way, he meets other FY characters playing roles from the movie. Very well-done, indeed, and it won Best Overall in a recent Aestheticism fanfiction contest.

The online Slayers comic is the work of talented artist and storyteller Syrena Done. The fox-man thief Sekiro accidentally awakens a forgotten copy of Rezo the Red Priest, who immediately shows himself to be as short-tempered and violent as his predecessor. Word of this awakening quickly spreads, reaching the ears of Zelgadis, Vrumegun and Sylpheel. Zel wants this new copy dead, but the kindly Sylpheel thinks they should...protect him?! Stefan Gagne's (Spoof Chase Productions) Slayers trilogy kept me clicking for hours. Each story reads like an episode of the series, with plenty of silly humor, explosive magic and good characterization. I haven't read Stefan's latest offering , but it's on my Must Read When There Are More Hours In My Day List.

Those links should keep you happy for a while, but before I go, I have to throw in one more site with lots of really great goodies on it. It's not anime or manga related, but it's more fun than a Hell's Angel dressed up as Sailor Chibi Moon: is updated daily with irreverent movie reviews, games, lists, quizzes and ratings of things like Jell-O(tm) flavors, miracles of Christ and Star Trek villains. Write your own Alanis Morisette lyrics or invent your own wrestling move. Then there's the thing that got me to the site in the first place: Yes, it's Rock, Paper, Scissors online! Challenge your friends! Way too much fun to pass up. (I can still kick your butt, Woofersan! Bwahahahahahaaa!)

Happy trails!
The Queen of Swords

The Queen of Swords was born and brought up in St. Louis, Missouri, USA, though she lived in other parts of the country in her previous incarnation as a radio news reporter and anchor. These days, she's trying to get her act together and finish a novel for publication, get into voice acting (hey, Mom and Dad paid a lot of money to train this voice) and get a more fulfilling job now that she's earned a fancy schmancy Advertising and Marketing degree. The Queen is best known for the stories that ate her life and continue to do so: Zelgadis On The Couch, Zelgadis On The Road (both Slayers), Crazy Little Thing Called Love and My Brother's Keeper (both Inuyasha). She's also working with the immensely talented artist known as Gigi to produce a wholly original online manga, which she hopes to debut in the Spring. The Queen only caught the Otaku Bug for the first time in 1997, just a few months after she got access to the Internet for the first time (though she grew up on Speed Racer, Johnny Quest, Thunder Cats, G-Force and Voltron). was born just before Midnight of Valentine's Day, 1998. The Queen also sports a big weakness for science fiction, fantasy, silent movies, Film Noir, swashbuckler movies, HK action cinema, Akira Kurosawa dramas and Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns.