by Ryan Mathews

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November 1999

Hmm... I feel a rant coming on. I think I'll entitle it:

Things I Don't Want to Talk About Anymore

I think it just comes with being a fan for so long. I've been reading the rec.arts.anime newsgroups since 1991, and in that time, I've seen certain subjects just run into the ground. I see a message posted, and I think "here we go again". The same arguments get posted, with the same rebuttals, and the same rebuttals to the rebuttals. I want to care, but I just can't. It's like chewing used gum. If you don't feel like me, my honest opinion is that it's just a matter of time.

Want some examples?

Fansub ethics - I swear, nothing makes me roll my eyes more than yet another go-round of this tired old argument. And yet, this used to be one of my favorites to dig into. I was right there in the trenches in the Tomodachi/Central Anime war, back when the viewpoint that fansub distributors are all selfless martyrs for the fandom was finally seeing some opposition. I've always appreciated the efforts of fan-translators and fansubbers, but have always been annoyed how some see their works as substitutes for the real thing. The original purpose of fansubs was to bring a near-inaccessible artform to the English-speaking fans, but that purpose has been perverted by subbers who would rather race the professionals to the hot properties than sub the more obscure (and less ego-gratifying) titles. Why sub Lain, for example? Being by Pioneer, that title was a sure release in America from the moment paintbrush hit cel. Yet at least one fansubbing outfit rushed to add it to their library.

Still, what is there to say that hasn't been said a thousand times? Without fail, someone will claim fansubs are legal because no one seems to mind, at which point we'll begin the regular lecture on copyright law. Face it: nothing, short of the IRS becoming curious about the thousands of dollars of undeclared revenue and shutting down a distributor or two, is going to stop fansubs from coming. We love 'em. They're cheap.

Dub bashing - Hey! I've got an idea that'll make us look cool! Let's bash some dubs! It doesn't matter that many of us hate dubs with a passion, and thus our view on any specific dub is meaningless. It's never stopped us before. Hey, I know! Let say how much we hate the English Aeka from Tenchi Muyo for her stuck up British accent. That's a classic! Of course, her accent isn't at all "British", and the accent accurately represents Aeka's overly formal Japanese, which we don't notice because we can't speak Japanese, but who cares? I'm sure everyone has forgotten those rebuttals by now.

Translation nitpicking - I've generally remained clear of translation battles, because I'm man enough to admit that I can't speak Japanese and can't tell if a translation is good or bad. Nonetheless, these threads go on and on and on. To participate in this discussion, I think it helps to be the kind of otaku who uses Japanese titles and names even when they translate perfectly to English like, say, "dragu slave" instead of "dragon slave" or Kodomo no Odocha instead of Child's Toy.

(NOTE: Pioneer has finally hit upon the way to rename anime for the American market without pissing off the otaku. They make the new name sound Japanese. So the Battle Athletes TV series becomes Battle Athletes Victory, and Tenchi Muyo in Love 2 becomes Tenchi Forever. Otaku went into cardiac arrest when AnimEigo changed Ah! My Goddess to Oh My Goddess!, but Pioneer changed the Pretty Sammy TV series to Magical Project S and the fans embraced it.)

Bashing the big anime company - This is something I tried to stay in, because I really think the anime companies unfairly get a bad rap. But I find myself rebutting the same arguments over and over. For example, on a site listed in this column, the site author laments that it's "bad news" that ADV picked up the Burn Up TV series. Why is it bad news? Because he thinks it will cost the fan a fortune. The four-episode OAV series was released one-episode per tape, and he thinks the twenty-six-episode TV series will be released the same way. Of course, no company is dumb enough to release a TV series on twenty-six tapes, but that's the tried and true way to bash an anime distributor. You assume they're going to do something bad and then criticize them for what they haven't even done yet.

Other moldy old arguments include the "I'm not getting enough episodes per tape" whine, which assumes that all anime titles cost the same to the distributor and that they can afford to throw you an extra episode for free. My favorite rebuttal allegedly came from an ADV rep, heard secondhand: "See that guy over there? He'll be at our panel later, telling us that he won't buy our tapes until the per-episode price comes down. The thing is, he tells us this at every convention we attend! That means he has the money to fly to five conventions a year, yet bitches about an extra five dollars per tape."

Now I don't want you folks saying "that Last Exit guy is telling us all to shut up". I don't wish to squelch the above arguments. On the contrary, you're welcome to them. Just leave me out.

Oh, who am I kidding? If I was capable of shutting up, I wouldn't have a column.

Speaking of the column, let's get on with it!