by Ryan Mathews

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December 1999

On the west side of metropolitan Cleveland, there are two major art theatres, the Cedar Lee, named for the intersection at which it resides, and the Centrum. Both theatres are in the small city of Cleveland Heights, and are fairly close to each other, so I figure the competition between the two must be fierce. The Cedar Lee has been around forever. It's a high-class joint, which actually sells wine and fresh-baked pastries at the concession stand. The Centrum is newer, and doesn't need to sell wine and pastries, because its entire neighborhood is so incredibly cappuccino. Just around the corner from the theatre is a Mongolian barbecue, a French cafe, an art supply store, and no parking.

Now, the Cedar Lee had Ghost in the Shell when it came around, and it also had Perfect Blue. So, naturally, I was expecting that theatre to get Princess Mononoke. It was even announced as premiering at the Cedar Lee on the Miyazaki fan website. When the smoke cleared, however, it was at the Centrum, so that's where I was headed.

When I arrived, I found Princess Mononoke playing opposite Being John Malkovich and Dogma. If there was a art-theatre war on in Cleveland Heights, it was pretty clear who was winning. (For those of you who don't follow small-release cinema, those are currently the three hottest tickets on the art theatre circuit.)

Once my ticket was ripped, my dreams of seeing Mononoke on the "big screen" evaporated, as I was directed to the cutest little theater I've ever been in, outside of a college classroom or convention video room. I'm not great at estimating size, but if it had more than 100 seats, it didn't look it. The screen was small, but I compensated by sitting in the fourth row from the front. I had the theater all to myself, and had hopes it would stay that way, but alas, it was not to be, as I was joined by about ten others for the last showing, 10:40PM on a Sunday night.

As I munched my popcorn, waiting for the program to begin, I overheard a conversation behind me. It was between two women and one man, all college age. One of the women was stating that she had trouble enjoying a dub of something she'd already seen subtitled. The man agreed with her, mentioning Ghost in the Shell. I turned around and asked them if they were anime fans. The guy said "Ehh" in that way that translates to "Sort of, not really". Later, the other girl said something about fansubs that I didn't catch.

Finally the movie began. The audience was respectful, for the most part, which was good, since in that miniature theater anything anyone said was heard. The major exception was the scene with the clicking tree-spirits. The little guys had the audience rolling in the aisles, which annoyed me a bit, since I don't think they were supposed to be that funny.

There was one other notable outburst, reproduced here phonetically as best as I can remember:

Ashitaka (to San): You're beautiful.
Girl behind me: gy'heHAH!Heheegyuhuhuh!

It was somewhere between laughing and high-speed strangling.

So, what did I think of the dub? I had to agree with Strangle-laugh Girl when she said it was the best dub she'd seen. With the exception of a few incidental voices, all the actors delivered their lines perfectly, with a subtlety you don't expect in even the better anime dubs. I guess if I had to level a criticism, it would be that Billy Bob Thornton was just slightly miscast as the monk, and it really wasn't his fault. Like everyone else, he sounded wonderful. The problem is the monk's appearance. That voice doesn't sound like it should be coming out of that face.

If you haven't seen Princess Mononoke yet, get your butt out to the cinema as soon as you can! And email me your experiences.

One more thing before we get to the web reviews. Next month is January, which as long-time readers know, is shojo month here at Last Exit. I'd appreciate suggestions for what to cover. In January '98 it was Fushigi Yuugi sites, and last January I covered CLAMP sites. I have an idea for the next column, but I'd like to hear from the shojo fans first.

On with the show!